Just for fun, following on from the Bacchus thread, from times I've helped out Timecast, and based loosely on a conversation from when I used to work in Oddbins ("Do you sell red wine?")
A list of questions never to ask traders at show:
"What's the best discount you can give me on that (already heavily reduced item)?"
"Will you be doing a 28mm scale Huegomont?"
"Do you have 28mm Sci-fi terrain?"
"Have you got a 28mm samurai castle?"
Can I just lick that brush to test it?"
When you're quite bright it's difficult to think up stupid questions, other than, "Do you have any tartan paint?"
I worked in the FLGS on an irregular basis and was involved in a conversation that went something like this.
Me: Can I help you? You look like you're trying to find something.
Customer: I'd like a cabbage.
Me: ... (Looks around at an array of dolls, board games, footballs and the like)
Customer stares fixedly at me.
Me: We're a games shop. We sell children's toys, toy soldiers, board games ...
Customer (giving me a hard Paddington Bear stare): I WANT a cabbage.
Me: Sorry, we don't sell cabbages ... we're a toy shop.
Customer: Well you USED to be a greengrocers!!
Customer storms out, unsuccessfully slamming a self-closing door.
Shop hadn't been a greengrocer for years at that point.
"Why don't you just go into computer games?"
"There quite nice but I think X's are better"
This new range your bringing out will it match company Y's, as they don't do the Fusilier in stockings and suspenders that I want a unit of to finish my army.
At a Show,
" I had a really good ay in today as this how is only 5 mins from my house"
"You must make HUGE profit at shows with all these people her"
"It must be like having a day off when you go to a show"
"If I buy an army I don't want to carry it around will you post it free of charge to Timbuktu??
Or Topically
"I just want a single pot of paint Mr Berry"
Quote from: mad lemmey on 22 August 2018, 07:53:26 AM
A list of questions never to ask traders at show:
"Will you be doing a 28mm scale Huegomont?"
Here's the 2018 answer to that question.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RVBQdQYyl0&feature=youtu.be
Wait till they're packing up then ask for something they've slipped into a box already.
"Which way to the Pendraken stand?"
Quote from: Ithoriel on 22 August 2018, 09:33:22 AM
I worked in the FLGS on an irregular basis and was involved in a conversation that went something like this.
Me: Can I help you? You look like you're trying to find something.
Customer: I'd like a cabbage.
Me: ... (Looks around at an array of dolls, board games, footballs and the like)
Customer stares fixedly at me.
Me: We're a games shop. We sell children's toys, toy soldiers, board games ...
Customer (giving me a hard Paddington Bear stare): I WANT a cabbage.
Me: Sorry, we don't sell cabbages ... we're a toy shop.
Customer: Well you USED to be a greengrocers!!
Customer storms out, unsuccessfully slamming a self-closing door.
Shop hadn't been a greengrocer for years at that point.
Is that true, Mike ?
Absolutely wonderful if it is. ;D ;D ;D
Cheers - Phil
A friend of my wife, looking at the menu in a restaurant menu, asked the waiter: "Will I like that?"
He didn't know her from Adam (or should that be Eve?).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHg6QjhvsCM
For Paddington fans.
Quote from: Westmarcher on 22 August 2018, 12:52:30 PM
A friend of my wife, looking at the menu in a restaurant menu, asked the waiter: "Will I like that?"
He didn't know her from Adam (or should that be Eve?).
waitress?
Would you like anything from the trolley?
Yes please, can I have the handles and casters.
Quote from: Techno on 22 August 2018, 12:22:35 PM
Is that true, Mike ?
Absolutely wonderful if it is. ;D ;D ;D
Cheers - Phil
Word for word? Not quite. But the gist, absolutely.
A story I have trotted out at a few management seminars where the speaker was trying to assure us that,"The customer is always right."
Apparently, "Some customers aren't even right in the head" is not a PC response :D
Is a WPC response not a PC response these days?
I was once asked at management training session, what three things do you need for success?
Guess they were not Ian Durey and The Blockheads fans.
Quote from: mad lemmey on 22 August 2018, 07:24:47 PM
I was once asked at management training session, what three things do you need for success?
Guess they were not Ian Durey and The Blockheads fans.
Yes, the assertion that,"Sex and drugs and rock 'n' roll are all my mind and body need!" are not sentiments to lighten the hearts of the HR department. :)
Great band live!
Strikes me that we are slipping back into Victorian attitudes these days. My job was definitely a lot more enjoyable in the 70s and 80s and the managers were part of the team rather than mealy mouthed overseers.
A few years ago, I went to a management consultant day with about 20 colleagues including directors.
The chap stands up and begins with "Every morning the wildebeest wakes up and knows it has to be fater than the fastest lion. And every morning the lion wakes up and knows she just has to be fastest than the slowest wildebeest."
Well, that put me off straight away. He then required us all, in turn to stand up and introduce ourselves to each other. Dutifully, everyone stood up and said "hello, I'm ... and I've been with the company ..."
I stood up and said "Hello. I'm Nobby, and I'm an alcoholic." Seeing the glare of the consultant, I said "Sorry. Same faces, different meeting." and sat down.
Y'know I don't remember anything else about the day. :-\
=O =O =O =O
Knowing you, like I do......I can just see you doing that !
You OIK !! ;D ;D ;D
Cheers - Phil
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Brilliant!!!
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose. That, or you are the sole keeper of some essential arcane knowledge.
Well done Nobby. =D> Few things brass me off more than total bullshitters. We're British. What happens in California should stay in California. I still remember the day, early 90s, where a gang of us from different schools were asked to perform yet another piece of useless TVEI bureaucracy. My response of NO surprised them into silence, then, when I was asked why my response was that I was paid to teach for four and a half days a week and half a day to do this. Consequently teaching comes first and this kind of stuff will be fitted in if deemed worthy. This was not deemed worthy as it would have absolutely no effect on the pupils' experience.
Read in the paper the other day that something was going to be introduced to Cambridge University 'for the safety of our staff, visitors and CUSTOMERS!' WTF! Someone send for Bullshit Man - Karl. Karl!
Easy, i'm In California. But we do have a certain reputation for nonsense, this being the nanny state. Here in San Francisco we are banning plastic straws but giving out needles, and then complaining about all the discarded needles (as well as the other crap on the sidewalks).
One solution at a time but then a solution to the solution - law of unintended consequences.