Judge: Frederick Simon Nobbs (AKA Nobby of FSN) You have been charged with the greivous crime of "Sending unsolicited items of First Aid to Techno (AKAPhil) of the Pendraken forum".
Yuo have pleaded your innocence most eloquently, and have therefore been tried by a jury of your peers
"Forman of the Jury , have you reached a majority verdict"
Foreman (Orcs) Yes M'Lud we have.
Judge : "And how do you find the defendant?"
Forman " In Runcorn M'lud, Oh sorry, you mean as per the charges !"
Judge "I do"
Forman. " Guilty on all counts"
Judge " then I must pronounce sentence"
Judge places square of black cloth on head
Clerk of the Court (Mad Lemmy) whispers "this is not a hanging offence M'lud
Judge : (In disappointed tone ) "Oh ! Thats a shame I do like a good hanging. In fact so do lots of my MP friends they hang themselves until they ejac... sorry digressing "
"I was going to sentence you to be stripped to your underpants and be tarred and feathered, in fact one of the jury a Mr DFlynSqrl had already heated the tar, but your physiologist reports have come through and infer that you would enjoy this"
Judge ponders for a minute
" I think 20 lashes of the birch might do instead"
Clerk of the Court (Mad Lemmy) whispers "M lud that was banned years ago, plus he would enjoy that even more"
Judge : (In disapointed tone ) "Oh ! Thats a shame I do like a good flogging. In fact so do lots of my MP friends they whip themselves until they ejac... sorry digressing "
Judge ponders again
" Frederick Simon Nobbs . You are a habitual; criminal and a from your phycological reports a pervert, something that even you multicoloured medication seems to have little affect on. I therefore sentence you ...........
" You will be taken from this place, where you will be...."
Clerk of the Court (Mad Lemmy) urgent whisper "this is not a hanging offence M'lud
Judge : "Sorry, I got a little excited. I will start again "
" Frederick Simon Nobbs . You will be sent from this place to make a suitable public grovelling apology on the Pendraken Forum to the victim within the next 3 days"
Court Ajourned!
;D ;D =D> =D> =O
I'd like to bring the charge of contempt now, the accused will ignore your Worships judgement.
;D ;D :-bd :-bd
Quote from: ianrs54 on 25 September 2017, 11:18:12 AM
I'd like to bring the charge of contempt now, the accused will ignore your Worships judgement.
Should the accused be found to be in contempt we will invoke sanctions. This will consist of :-
A ban on the defendants purchase of any of the Pendraken Korean War Range
A ban on the defendants purchase of any of the Pendraken Centuruion Tank or variants
Any purchase of a pack that has prone figures , will have the complete pack of prone figures.
These may invoked in any order or combination at the whim of M'lady
( I am told by Leon that M'lady has many Whims - may of which he will not reveal )
My Lord, Ladies and Gentlebeings.
I stand before you an innocent man. Falsely accused of the heinous crimes of sending quantities of first aid supplies to Friend Techno. (He may have freaked out when the butterfly plasters arrived, think of what he'll do when the full body scanner arrives.) I will admit I know Friend Techno's postal address. I will also admit to having an Amazon account. If pressed, I will also admit to having a childish delight in such prankery. However, Gruntlemen of the Forum, this does not mean that I am the culprit in the instance.
Grindermen, this hobby that we all love has some tenets common to all, whatever our ruleset, whatever our period, whatever our base size. We may favour the Greek Hoplite, we may prefer our armour to be mechanised. We may gently finish our bases perfectly adequately with a sprinkling of static grass, or we may go completely over the top and have the incredible moving tree stump on our over-decorated 30mmx30mm. There are some of us who like our Napoleonic infantry all to be in some sort of advancing pose, and there are those of us who don't find it strange that half the army apparently marches on its knees. Ganderbags, there are even those amongst us who game with elves and dwarves and goblins.
But we all share something. We share the appreciation for a fine paint job, we applaud the honest player who counts his dice well, and we call all sigh at the sight of some lovely, well rounded OOBs. In short, Getfingered of the Forum, we all share a love of accuracy.
I put it to you, then, M'lud ... M'lud ... is he allowed to do that in the court? He is? Well, I'll just carry on then shall I? I put it to you then, fellow Grotbags, that this charge is as accurate as a Hollywood Panzer. Paint it sort of desert yellow, stick a cross on it and it's still an M46. And that's what this accusation is, M'lud ... no that's really rather offputting ... this whole trial is an M46, painted yellow with a a cross stuck on it. It doesn't even look a bit like a Tiger.
So, Gingivitis all, I submit that there is no evidence to my guilt, and the case be thrown out like the learned Council for the Prosecution at closing time at the Rat and Ferret.
As to contempt, I bear none for this court, nor indeed for Milady for whom I have nothing but the deepest respect and admiration. I'm sure her whims are all well scrubbed and perfumed, and, if I may be so bold as to address her directly, "M'am. You see before you a true and honest man, bit weird admittedly, but not so it shows in present company, whose only passion in his impending dotage is to buy many, many Pendraken products. I am falsely accused, by whom and for why I cannot say, but I swear on the Pendraken catalogue that I would never, ever send medical supplies to Techno. May your gentle mercy be bestowed upon me, and release me from this infamy."
Thank you. *Bows. Waits for applause. Nothing. Silent as Lemmey's bedroom.*
;D ;D ;D all around - bravo! =D> =D>
The real take away, however, is that fsn wears underpants!
Quote from: d_Guy on 25 September 2017, 04:30:33 PM
;D ;D ;D all around - bravo! =D> =D>
The real take away, however, is that fsn wears underpants!
Note that he didn't say whose though.
Yer 'on our, I object, my bedroom is never silent! I snore like a train!
Damn! That means the bug is broken.
Ladles and jellyspoons and steaming memoires of this August forum,
as my train of thought has not yet arrived at the station,
I stand upon this speech to make a platform.
I come before you to stand behind you
and to say to those here dissembled
that if you are enjoying this thread half as much as I am
I'm enjoying it twice as much as you!
:)
I would point out that you have merely protested your innocence again.
By the law of this land (and forum) You are only innocent until proven guilty.
By your own admission
You know Techno's address
You have an Amazon account
You admit to having a childish delight in such prankery
You have teased Techno on multiple occasions about his tendency to injure himself.
Techno has received a multitude of First Aid Material
What more proof do you need !!!!
You have been tried by a Jury of your peers and found not only wanting and needy but GUILTY AS CHARGED.
You therefore have to follow through with the sentence given.
We are awaiting your grovelling apology
Personally I don't think it's at all surprising that when you look at this thread and poster info you see "Orcs Guilty as charged!"
Perhaps someone might be attempting to admit guilt there, eh?
Ors doth protest to much, methinks
I think the person responsible is definitely trying to DUCK out of it.
I can't wait for Nobby to do hid Perry Mason impersonation and turn the tables on the guilty quacker.
Quote from: Orcs on 25 September 2017, 07:31:02 PM
You know Techno's address
You have an Amazon account
You admit to having a childish delight in such prankery
You have teased Techno on multiple occasions about his tendency to injure himself.
Techno has received a multitude of First Aid Material
He's not the only one........
Is he Mark ?
Cheers - Phil
I merely like taking the pee of FSN, its an international sport on this Forum
I was not found guilty by a jury of my peers. Therefore I am innocent.
Wait....what? :o
Quote from: Orcs on 25 September 2017, 08:42:58 PM
I was not found guilty by a jury of my peers. Therefore I am innocent.
Retrial!! or a trial by combat do you live near FSN? A game perhaps to settle :-)
Cheers
Ian
Quote from: Sandinista on 25 September 2017, 11:35:48 PM
trial by combat do you live near FSN?
Huzzah, lumps of four by two in the car park! X_X =O
FREE THE NAUGHTY PERSON WHO SENT TECHNO LOTS OF BANDAGES AND STUFF 1
Quote from: Orcs on 25 September 2017, 07:31:02 PM
You know Techno's address
You have an Amazon account
You admit to having a childish delight in such prankery
You have teased Techno on multiple occasions about his tendency to injure himself.
Techno has received a multitude of First Aid Material
Sirrah, you have a hole in your syllogism. Your conclusion is not supported by your premise.
I buy Pendraken figures
I buy Vallejo paint from Pendraken
I paint figures
Therefore the photos of painted figuires on the Pendraken website are done by me.
I'm not saying I couldn't have done it, I'm just saying I didn't do it ... and rather wished I'd thought of it first.
Oh for G*d's sake, hang the pair of em .....
Quote from: ianrs54 on 26 September 2017, 07:31:16 AM
Oh for G*d's sake, hang the pair of em .....
A fine example of British justice and shows why our judicial system is the envy of the world...................
Let's revisit the idea of Trial by Combat.
I propose this:
Not painful enough.
(And they're not having any of my plasters, when they get hurt. :D)
Cheers - Phil
;D ;D
Quote from: Techno on 26 September 2017, 03:26:41 PM
Not painful enough.
(And they're not having any of my plasters, when they get hurt. :D)
Cheers - Phil
They can use Harley Street Rods, pruning hooks and NO bubble wrap. It's all the same to me. :D
Bravo all! ;D
I was lookin' forward to a good tar'n though. At least Mrs Flyn' Squirrel will stop bitchin' about the smell of the tar now....