Pendraken Miniatures Forum

Non-Wargaming Discussion => Fun Stuff => Topic started by: Duke Speedy of Leighton on 07 February 2017, 12:19:40 PM

Title: Internal phones....
Post by: Duke Speedy of Leighton on 07 February 2017, 12:19:40 PM
Always worried me that phrase!

Anyway, our school runs on a series of internal phones 📱
Anyone got any good answering ideas?
Today I've used 'Baton Rouge Morgue' and 'Gamma quadrant', yesterday was 'Ecuadorian Embassy'!
Title: Re: Internal phones....
Post by: Ithoriel on 07 February 2017, 12:22:06 PM
"How did you get this number? Please remain where you are! Special Branch will be with you shortly." .... no? ... yeah, maybe not! :D
Title: Re: Internal phones....
Post by: d_Guy on 07 February 2017, 01:24:43 PM
I have an infernal phone. It keeps butt dialing people and taking lop-sided pictures of the carpet. Oh! wait! Never mind.
Title: Re: Internal phones....
Post by: fsn on 07 February 2017, 01:30:59 PM
I tend to use the proper "ahoy-hoy!" if I'm in a good mood, and just my surname if I'm not.

That way, people know what they're getting.
Title: Re: Internal phones....
Post by: Techno on 07 February 2017, 02:36:28 PM
"Strategic missile command, please enter coordinates and authorisation code."  :d :d

Cheers - Phil.

(Thanks for the prezzie, Nobby.....I'll bung you a proper mail a bit later.)

Title: Re: Internal phones....
Post by: Wulf on 07 February 2017, 04:28:16 PM
Our senior tech used to always answer "This is the war office, who wants a fight?"
Title: Re: Internal phones....
Post by: Leon on 07 February 2017, 05:22:32 PM
"Battersea Dogs Home, woof woof!"

"Charlie's Crematorium, you kill 'em, we grill 'em!"
Title: Re: Internal phones....
Post by: Subedai on 07 February 2017, 05:38:42 PM
'Speak, you phoned me!'

MickS
Title: Re: Internal phones....
Post by: Chris Pringle on 07 February 2017, 05:43:17 PM
"Ah, Sturmbannfuehrer!"
Title: Re: Internal phones....
Post by: ronan on 07 February 2017, 06:57:50 PM
good ones !


I sometimes use : "Vatican Sports Service, Hello ?" ( in french of course, but ... I may try it in english ..)
Title: Re: Internal phones....
Post by: Orcs on 07 February 2017, 07:56:29 PM

"erectile dysfunction clinic"

"Vajazzles are us"

"London Zoo, Geoffrey the  giraffe speaking"

"Broadmoor psychopath ward"
Title: Re: Internal phones....
Post by: Duke Speedy of Leighton on 07 February 2017, 07:59:03 PM
Since I work in a lower school, with several members of staff who used to work as ZSL Whipsnade, three could be a enormous laugh!
Title: Re: Internal phones....
Post by: fsn on 07 February 2017, 08:27:27 PM
"Nigerian claim line .. please hold ..."

"Hello, I'm glad I got through, I've been holding for ages, could you help me with my computer there a red light that ..."

"Before your call, I deign to hear,
a question you must answer,
upon which tank would you bank,
a Sherman or a Panther?"

Title: Re: Internal phones....
Post by: Orcs on 08 February 2017, 01:37:33 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 07 February 2017, 07:59:03 PM
Since I work in a lower school, with several members of staff who used to work as ZSL Whipsnade, three could be a enormous laugh!

Whoops I forgot you were a Schoolteacher - More appropriate ones to follow

"Hello this is Mr C Lion "

"Teaching assistants suicide help line"

"Michael Gove appreciation Society"

"My pencil is sharp and ready for action"

"Help Miss Jones  has me in the stock Cupboard"



Title: Re: Internal phones....
Post by: FierceKitty on 08 February 2017, 02:13:17 AM
My all-time favourite was a very self-possessed little five-year-old: "5344578, I am Chiara Flockermann-Gaylard, who are you?"
Title: Re: Internal phones....
Post by: Jim Ando on 08 February 2017, 07:40:24 AM
Hello, STD clinic how may I help.
Title: Re: Internal phones....
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 08 February 2017, 08:45:59 AM
"Yellow" or "Turkish/Indian/Pakistani legation" - in an appropriate accent.

But be careful, answered with the second on a day shift and was talking to a director  :( :(

IanS
Title: Re: Internal phones....
Post by: DanJ on 08 February 2017, 09:29:16 AM
QuoteI sometimes use : "Vatican Sports Service, Hello ?" ( in french of course, but ... I may try it in english ..)

Shouldn't that be in Italian?
Title: Re: Internal phones....
Post by: DanJ on 08 February 2017, 09:32:24 AM
A friend of mine used to have this (or something like it) on his answer phone, in a Marvin type voice...

"Hello, ......  this is the fridge, the answer phone is out at the moment but if you like I can pass on a message"

Title: Re: Internal phones....
Post by: paulr on 08 February 2017, 07:47:20 PM
The best internal phone story I've come across is in Admiral Cunningham's biography

Some poor junior rating inadvertently called his direct line in his flagship and was greeted with "Cunningham"

Rating: "God!!"

Cunningham: "Only very locally"

;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Internal phones....
Post by: ronan on 08 February 2017, 08:12:21 PM
Quote from: DanJ on 08 February 2017, 09:29:16 AM
Shouldn't that be in Italian?

my knowledge is very limited !  ;D
( Pizza, signora, chianti )


Very good ideas here, folks... I will borrow some... :d