1.Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2.Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3.Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4.Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5.Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you
I think you'll find if you distil the "us" you speak of to separate the Scots from the English, then the statements you list all become false (unless you Scottish) :D
I work in Liverpool. Lots of people don't speak English - they speak Scouse. This is totally unintelligible, but may be a distant cousin of Gnomish.
I told you, Nobby......
There's the tiniest hint of Scouse in your speech now. ;)
Cheers - Phil
God I hopes not......
IanS
The other half is from Liverpool.
When we first got together I asked if she had any Scottish or Irish in her.......
Very likely if she's a scouser. Proper Celtic city it is. My Mrs was pure Irish descent so both my kids are half Irish - what a DNA cauldron they have.
I only didn't live in Merseyside between the ages of 9 and 22, so if Ian's from the Wirral and doesn't sound like a scouser then either he wasn't born there, went to private school or is just fibulating. I can't tell the difference between John Lennon's accent and Paul O'Grady's - one's from Allerton and the other's from Birkenhead.
One of my sons has a friend who's from the Wirral who absolutely hates it if someone calls him a Scouser. I can't tell the difference in the dialects at all.
Each area of Merseyside has a slightly different accent. I don't have a pronounced scouse accent cause Mum was from Barnet, and I spent three years living in Ilkley. I can do one though, great for annoying offshore call centres.
IanS
Love it ;D ;D ;D. Must try my best Speke speak next time the sub-continent calls.
QuoteOne of my sons has a friend who's from the Wirral who absolutely hates it if someone calls him a Scouser. I can't tell the difference in the dialects at all.
This is not surprising as he is a Woolyback ;)
I once had to call some large corporate business or govt. department (can't recall - it was so long ago.) and to get through to a human being, I had to answer a few questions asked by a machine. Although I speak with a West of Scotland accent, having worked for a lot of English based companies in the past, I usually have no difficulty in communicating with my fellow Brits. However, no matter what reply I gave to the machine's questions, it could not understand the number 3. So, when asked again for my ref. number, in utter desperation, I replied in my best cockney accent (saying 'free' instead of 'three') - and, finally, my answer was understood! :o
Quote from: Malbork on 11 May 2016, 10:11:10 AM
This is not surprising as he is a Woolyback ;)
If he's from the Wirral he's a Tunnel Rat. Woolybacks are from places like Wigan and Bolton.
I've been away too long Leman :(
When I was at school in the 70/80s we used Woolyback for those from the Wirral too.
Re: Scottish accents.
Once had to ring up the Yorkshire Bank in Leeds over an issue with a cheque. I ended up speaking to a Scottish bloke and I couldn't understand a word he said due to his regional accent - I had to get a family member to interpret for me. It was obvious that the bloke was peeved at all the rigmarole that ensued.
Phoned a help desk in York recently. Guy with thick Yorkshire accent answers, mutual incomprehensibility ensues. That despite my having lived in Yorkshire for four years in the past. You know you have communication problems when you realise that the words you've just asked the other person to repeat four times translates as,"I'm sorry, I'm having trouble understanding your accent."
Never thought I'd find myself wishing I'd had to phone a centre in Mumbai or Pune!
By way of a public service announcement be aware that we in the States only attempt to speak English when you lot show up for a visit!
Please place commas in the above as you see fit.
Quote from: d_Guy on 11 May 2016, 02:27:07 PM
By way of a public service announcement be aware that we in the States only attempt to speak English when you lot show up for a visit!
Please place commas in the above as you see fit.
What excuse do the English have for their own neglect of the language? Thatcher can't be blamed forever....
Quote from: FierceKitty on 12 May 2016, 01:06:51 AM
What excuse do the English have for their own neglect of the language? Thatcher can't be blamed forever....
Danmd suferners talkin estuury
IanS ;)
Quote from: Tawa on 10 May 2016, 04:48:24 PM
The other half is from Liverpool.
When we first got together I asked if she had any Scottish or Irish in her.......
Are you Scots/Irish?
cheers
Ian
Quote from: FierceKitty on 12 May 2016, 01:06:51 AM
What excuse do the English have for their own neglect of the language? Thatcher can't be blamed forever....
We don't neglect it. We just let it do its own thing
I am from Northern Ireland and while working for HMC&E as it was then had cause to ring one of our offices in Liverpool as the conversation ended the scouser on the other end remarked how strange it was that I had understood him, i eplied well liverpool is the capital of Ireland and his accent wasnt that strange to my ears.
Re: Yorkshire accents.
I have been known to lay it on thick in the past, so as to confuse :d
Re: Indian Phone Centres.
Not that I've spoken to many, but those I have, I could well understand their English.
And I'm frequently picked up on my (written) English over on TMP by the two Asian (Thai, I think) editors.
As part of my job, back in the bad old days when I was working, I had to phone Indian call centres on a regular basis. Some there spoke beautifully clear English but most did not.
I do accept that, from the point of view of the call centre workers, the person with the incomprehensible accent was me :)
I think half the problem with call centres overseas, is the quality of the 'line'. (Sometimes)
It's bad enough if you have a problem with the accent of the person you're trying to communicate with.....But if the line keeps breaking up, it's nigh on impossible to understand what they're saying.
Cheers - Phil
Today had to say several things 5 times - post code, problem, person/organisation responsible. Ok my post code ends TT, what is a tad difficult to say BUT !!!!
IanS
Just say "Tango, Tango", Ian......
I have to spell my whole postal address phonetically if I order something from a firm I've never dealt with before.....Until I get to 'Pembrokeshire'. ;)
Cheers - Phil.
Re: Accents
Once worked on a building site and we had a Telecommunications Computer Data engineer (no, I don't know what him and his apprentice were actually doing, except it involved big cables for computers).
The bloke had a brilliant accent and was introduced to everyone as "This is Jan. He's from Wales."
To which he'd reply with weary indignation (in a, to an Englishman's ears, Welsh accent) "I'm not from bloody Wales. I'm Belgian!"
Only problem was, new people thought he was joking and that he was really Welsh.
I haven't been to Belgium, so I don't know if there is a similarity of accent between Flemish-Belgian and Welsh.
I bet the bloke was glad to see the back of us though and go home every Friday night.
Quote from: RoyWilliamson on 12 May 2016, 12:32:20 PM
Re: Accents
Once worked on a building site and we had a Telecommunications Computer Data engineer (no, I don't know what him and his apprentice were actually doing, except it involved big cables for computers).
The bloke had a brilliant accent and was introduced to everyone as "This is Jan. He's from Wales."
To which he'd reply with weary indignation (in a, to an Englishman's ears, Welsh accent) "I'm not from bloody Wales. I'm Belgian!"
Only problem was, new people thought he was joking and that he was really Welsh.
I haven't been to Belgium, so I don't know if there is a similarity of accent between Flemish-Belgian and Welsh.
I bet the bloke was glad to see the back of us though and go home every Friday night.
I met an Italian monk once. He'd learned English (very well) in Dublin.
Most disconcerting accent.
I had been dealing with a guy with a Scandinavian name from Ericsson in Sweden via email, he came out to NZ and the first meeting was a bit of a shock
He was of African ancestry (how are you meant to say that these days?) but the real shock was his broad Scottish accent :o
I was at Uni in Sheffield. We did some research on what children watched on TV and what they played in the playground (yes it was that long ago).
I remember interviewing a group of beautiful Asian girls in bright Punjabi pyjamas who all spoke with big voices in a strong Yorkshire accent. "Aye, we likes playing 'Yorkshire Ripper'."
Clive James said that Australian women are the most beautiful in the world ...until they open their mouths.
And I do not speak Scouse in any way, shape or form, like. Youse better believe it!
Youse is a very Northern Irish word as well
As in " Youse un's fancy a pint"
Quote from: fsn on 13 May 2016, 07:17:28 AM
Clive James said that Australian women are the most beautiful in the world ...until they open their mouths.
It'll just be to insert a beer bottle, you know.
Then I would suggest you're not using your imagination.
Anyone see the report on BBC Breakfast this morning about northern teachers being 'encouraged' to moderate their accents. Fecking southerners - too bloody thick to produce enough of their own.
The funniest thing that happened concerning accents was when an Engineer where I now work, who was Dutch with not a very good understanding of English, especially the North East variety being involved in a technical discussion with a contractor from Newcastle and was broad Geordie. It ended up that one of the local lads from Middlesbrough being called over to act as a translator as neither of them could understand a word the other was speaking =O =O =O
;D
I've worked on a few buildings sites in the north east where you can't understand half of what's been said.
Durhamite.
Geordie.
Mackem.
Smoggie.
Yorkie.
Then add to the mix people from outside the region - or when people deliberately speak to confuse (who, me? :d ) - and it gets right old confusing.
"Hot Fuzz" anyone?
Quote from: fsn on 13 May 2016, 03:02:02 PM
"Hot Fuzz" anyone?
Dont think the weathers been warm enough today for anyone to suffer from it
;D ;D That and Betty Swallocks.
I was amused to hear two Chinese using execrable English to chat in Suzhou once, since they couldn't follow each other's Chinese.
There was a program about the 60 years of Eurovision last night on BBC4.
Every time the number of points was read out in English, they were then read out in French.
Does anyone know if there is a ... (The) Problem with Speaking English.
:D
I found it an interesting program actually. Especially the bits during the 1970s after Israel had joined in.
Flying out Israeli forces to Luxemburg to help guard the building against threats.
The crowd in the building being told to remain seated during the performance, lest they be shot dead by the marksmen inside the building.
The first time Israel won, Jordanian TV cut the feed and replaced the broadcast on their state television with a picture of a vase of flowers, and told their nation that Belgium had won.
Huge respect for the German lass who sang her winning song, in five different languages, repeating the verses in German then English then French then...
In actual fact, come to remember the show, she was interviewed for the program and she said how she was the first German act to receive top points from Israel, and she was flown out to Israel to perform her song.
Anyway, back to speaking English. The UKs last winning Eurovision act - Katrina and the Waves - Katrina telling the program that she was asked to tone down her US accent and try for a more British one.
One hopes that she managed it terribly well.
Hot Fuzz: The Police visit Techno.
Quote from: skywalker on 13 May 2016, 11:32:30 AM
The funniest thing that happened concerning accents was when an Engineer where I now work, who was Dutch with not a very good understanding of English, especially the North East variety being involved in a technical discussion with a contractor from Newcastle and was broad Geordie. It ended up that one of the local lads from Middlesbrough being called over to act as a translator as neither of them could understand a word the other was speaking =O =O =O
I had the pleasure of acting as 'interpreter' for a couple of guys; Japanese and Swedish. And no I'm not able to speak either language ;D
Quote from: fsn on 13 May 2016, 07:42:26 PM
Hot Fuzz: The Police visit Techno.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
(You utter
OIK, Nobby !)
Cheers - Phil
Quote from: paulr on 13 May 2016, 08:49:13 PM
I had the pleasure of acting as 'interpreter' for a couple of guys; Japanese and Swedish. And no I'm not able to speak either language ;D
:D
Was alcohol involved?
No alcohol, but neither could understand the other's accent ;D
I could follow both their accents so simply repeated what each said and they could both cope with my Kiwi accent :)
Quote from: paulr on 15 May 2016, 01:14:40 AM
No alcohol, but neither could understand the other's accent ;D
I could follow both their accents so simply repeated what each said and they could both cope with my Kiwi accent :)
Got it! My first date with my wife pitted my Appalachian twang against her clipped north Jersey. Didn't need a translator but had to use a very simple vocabulary.
I sometimes had to act as 'translator' between a Swedish chap, and some of the Scottish folk when I worked at the Studio in Edinburgh for Target Games (Mid 90's ?)
The Scots could understand 'Stephan' perfectly well.....But he often really struggled to understand them.
Cheers - Phil.
He has my complete sympathy - and I sort of am one.
Pertinent to the discussion but perhaps not one to share with one's maiden aunt :)
(http://i.imgur.com/f5OybTt.jpg)
;D ;D ;D =O gasp! Good one!
=O