Pendraken Miniatures Forum

Non-Wargaming Discussion => Fun Stuff => Topic started by: Chad on 20 April 2016, 09:16:02 AM

Title: Why?
Post by: Chad on 20 April 2016, 09:16:02 AM
Why do some supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
Why  do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a  diet coke? 
Why  do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens  to the counters?
Why  do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our  driveways and put our useless junk in the  garage?
EVER  WONDER...Why the sun lightens our hair, but  darkens our skin?
Why  can't women put on mascara with their mouth  closed?
Why  don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins  Lottery'? 
Why  is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why  is it that doctors and attorneys call what they do  'practice'? 
Why  is lemon juice drink made with artificial flavoring, and dish  washing liquid made with real lemons?
Why  is the man who invests all your money called a  broker? 
Why  is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush  hour? 
Why  isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why  didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? 
Why  do they sterilize the needle for lethal  injections?
You  know that indestructible black box that is used on  airplanes?  Why don't  they make the whole  plane out of that stuff?? 
Why  don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why  are they called apartments when they are all stuck  together? 
If  flying is so safe,   why  do they call the airport the terminal?
Title: Re: Why?
Post by: Orcs on 20 April 2016, 09:45:25 AM
Some Answers


Why do some supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
Hoping the sick drop dead on the walk to the Pharmacy thus saving the cash strapped NHS the cost of the Perscription.

Why  do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a  diet coke?
So that while they are Fat they will have nice Teeth 

Why  do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens  to the counters?
Because the Money is insured, but the Bank pays for the pens

Why  can't women put on mascara with their mouth  closed?
Women can close their Mouths?   :o

Why  don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins  Lottery'? 
Because the word  "Psychic" really means "Guess" 

Why  is it that doctors and attorneys call what they do  'practice'? 
Because the NHS cannot afford to train them properly

Why  is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
That's one for FK to answer

Why  is lemon juice drink made with artificial flavoring, and dish  washing liquid made with real lemons?
Because we don't have taste buds on our hands

Why  is the man who invests all your money called a  broker? 
Because he has lost all his own 
 
Why  don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Because they have to live in Wales - Ask Techno

Why  are they called apartments when they are all stuck  together? 
Apartments is an American word, and as we know Americans cannot speak English

Title: Re: Why?
Post by: Leman on 20 April 2016, 05:33:28 PM
Apartment is a long word. In English it's a flat and we all know that Americans will never use one word or syllable when two or more will do the job equally as well.
Title: Re: Why?
Post by: FierceKitty on 20 April 2016, 11:26:49 PM
They nearly called a lift a vertical personnel distribution device.

In fairness, however, they seldom really say automobile - it's just a car to them, just as it is to real people.
Title: Re: Why?
Post by: Techno on 21 April 2016, 02:37:40 PM
Why...

When bank robbers raid a bank......
Instead of staggering out with big bags of notes....Do they not give the money back, and get the bank to write them a cheque.
Much easier to carry.

(Nicked from "Seekers" last night, on Radio 4 Extra)

Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Why?
Post by: Subedai on 21 April 2016, 06:08:46 PM
An oldie but has always made me chuckle.

Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?
Title: Re: Why?
Post by: Duke Speedy of Leighton on 21 April 2016, 06:24:46 PM
And who mediated if ACAS go on strike?
Title: Re: Why?
Post by: Leman on 21 April 2016, 07:45:57 PM
Y Fronts when they also have Backs?
Title: Re: Why?
Post by: FierceKitty on 21 April 2016, 11:13:20 PM
...are trousers plural, while a bra is singular?
Title: Re: Why?
Post by: Orcs on 23 April 2016, 07:14:40 AM
Quote from: Subedai on 21 April 2016, 06:08:46 PM
An oldie but has always made me chuckle.

Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?

Trouser legs used to be separate.
Title: Re: Why?
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 23 April 2016, 07:52:44 AM
WHY NOT

I've left.

IanS
Title: Re: Why?
Post by: Fenton on 23 April 2016, 09:17:09 AM
Quote from: FierceKitty on 21 April 2016, 11:13:20 PM
...are trousers plural, while a bra is singular?

But trousers are singular at the top and plural at the  bottom ( at the bottom of the trousers not somebody's actual bottom   come to think of it that's plural as well)

Hopefully you know what I mean
Title: Re: Why?
Post by: Leman on 23 April 2016, 01:26:37 PM
??????????
Title: Re: Why?
Post by: d_Guy on 23 April 2016, 02:48:22 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 23 April 2016, 09:17:09 AM
But trousers are singular at the top and plural at the  bottom ( at the bottom of the trousers not somebody's actual bottom   come to think of it that's plural as well)

Hopefully you know what I mean

But isn't it bottom, botti, bottorum ...? A sixth declension noun ..maybe..I think.
Title: Re: Why?
Post by: Leman on 23 April 2016, 08:41:16 PM
Bottis, bottis, bottis.