Pendraken Miniatures Forum

Non-Wargaming Discussion => Chat & News => Topic started by: fsn on 12 November 2015, 12:55:05 PM

Title: Drinking Straws
Post by: fsn on 12 November 2015, 12:55:05 PM
Before we have the funny comments, this means "straws used for drinking" and not the "consumption of liquefied straws".

I have a question, oh Gentlemen of the Forum. Do men use straws?

For toddlers, straws are great. The stop drink bottom rising so far in the vertical that they outdistance drink tops and so cause puddles, disconsolate toddlers and miffed parents.

For children they're fun. They can be swirly and multi-coloured and you can blow down them and make sucking noise that embarrass your parents.

For teenagers they can be romantic. One drink, two straws is almost a cliché of adolescent attraction.

For women they can be damned sexy. There is something innately phallic about them that is immediately enhanced by a pair of reddened lips gently sucking on the top, whilst varnished nails beat a gentle tattoo along the length. (Dammit, I need a cold shower.)

For men though? What would make a man use a straw, beside a broken jaw? Once could argue that certain cocktails loaded with fruit and umbrellas require straws but unless you're on your honeymoon, when would you drink such a thing?

I can't imagine a rugby team in the changing room delicately sipping through straws. Cans and bottles do not require straws. So why would a man use a straw?

"My name is Bond, James Bond. Dry Martini, made with vodka, shaken, not stirred ... and a straw."  Not right is it?  It's enough to drive wimp Galore to a name change.

I will give you Poirrot. That bewhiskered fop would definitely use a straw.

So, do we have anyone out there in defence of straw usage, or like me do you discard them at the earliest opportunity?

(http://www.beautyhunter.com.au/wp-content/uploads/dreamstime_s_30001708.jpg)


Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: Techno on 12 November 2015, 01:06:34 PM
Have you been mixing your medication, again ?  X_X
Cheers - Phil. ;)
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: fsn on 12 November 2015, 01:08:17 PM
Possibly, but I never drink it with a straw.
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: Ithoriel on 12 November 2015, 01:16:16 PM
A decent milkshake requires a suitable straw to drink it with.

Cocktails ... when can you NOT drink them? That fruit is the only part of "five a day" some people get!

You are NEVER too old to feed your SO Maltesers with a straw!
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: Rob on 12 November 2015, 01:16:53 PM
A real man doesn't give a flying f... what other people think and if he wants a straw he will have one.  :)

A modern man will discuss it withhis peers and will go with the general consenus. =)

A teenager can't be bothered to get one and just before he takes a sip will wonder what the time is and pour it into his lap.

A lefty will ask if the straw was produced using carbon neutral methods and was it a fair trade purchase and point out that those capitalist barst.... in charge should be providing all honest hard working workers with straws  ;)

Dave would say "can you send me one through so i can look at it"  :)

Leon would say "we can't deal with these staws now, but perhaps in 2019 we may have a spot for them"  :)

Mad Lemmy would say "straws are this years in thing, darlings"  :)

FK would say "you've spelt straw wrong" :)

Steeleye would say "Feck you all I'm leaving..."  :(

Techno would say "Sorry I can't see at the moment I've just slipped and chopped my head off"  :o

Sunray would say "Over and Out!"  :)
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: fsn on 12 November 2015, 01:29:07 PM
I have literally just thought of this but am I taking a straw poll of the forum?

(Straw poll .. geddit? Straw ... 'cos I'm asking about straws. Straw Poll. Straw Poll. Please yourselves.)

I suppose the question does boils down to what does modern man (and forum members) do? I don't think I ever saw my father use a straw except to try and blow life into an ailing goldfish. I find myself instinctively rejecting them. Is straw usage a metrosexual thing, like skin moisturiser and waxing?  Are hairy rough-a**ses like me out of step with modern methods of fluid ingestion? (Answer is probably yes.)
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: NeilCFord on 12 November 2015, 01:56:40 PM
Quote from: Ithoriel on 12 November 2015, 01:16:16 PM
A decent milkshake requires a suitable straw to drink it with.

Cocktails ... when can you NOT drink them? That fruit is the only part of "five a day" some people get!

You are NEVER too old to feed your SO Maltesers with a straw!

THIS!

I have nothing else to add.

- Neil.
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: Duke Speedy of Leighton on 12 November 2015, 03:59:24 PM
Rob,
But they sooooooo are sweeety!  :-*

A whiskey sour should be drunk through a straw if no more than 4", whereas a pins colada should be drunk with a straw so lucky bg that you can drink from the next county.

I think it's a matter of choice.
If one is offered, I will use it. Even if it's pointless!
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: Leman on 12 November 2015, 04:05:25 PM
apparently the Duke of Marlborough considered straws useful for distinguishing the left from the right.
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: philv on 12 November 2015, 04:14:31 PM
I did not use a straw for cans of coke till recently.  There was a news story about people getting ill after drinking from cans. Turned out the shop had mice in, the mice had peed on the cans. Some nasty diseases in mouse and rat pee.

Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: fsn on 12 November 2015, 07:04:41 PM
I still rub the tops of beer cans. My grandfather used to do it to get rid of the pee accumulated by the beer on the way up on board ship from Aberdeen to Shetland. 

I turned out normal.
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: Techno on 12 November 2015, 07:10:30 PM
Quote from: fsn on 12 November 2015, 07:04:41 PM
I turned out normal.

:o :o :o :o

Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: Nosher on 12 November 2015, 07:23:05 PM
I worry about you lot......
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: Fenton on 12 November 2015, 07:24:18 PM
Same thing happened to me when someone spilt coke on my tins of pee
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: Westmarcher on 12 November 2015, 07:27:47 PM
 
Quote from: Nosher on 12 November 2015, 07:23:05 PM
I worry about you lot......

Me, too.  :-&

Quote from: fsn on 12 November 2015, 07:04:41 PM
I turned out normal.

:-\

Anyhoo.  James Bond had a novel use for a straw. He jumped into the drink and sooked in the air.


Dr. No
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: Last Hussar on 12 November 2015, 08:03:01 PM
Quote from: Techno on 12 November 2015, 01:06:34 PM
Have you been mixing your medication, again ?  X_X
Cheers - Phil. ;)

This. Just this.
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: Orcs on 12 November 2015, 08:38:33 PM
In my adult life I have found two  uses for straws, and have heard of two more .

Uses I have found

1.  Cut them up and use as casualty caps (particuarly useful in old WRG rules)
2.  I took a pencil pot, cut the straws the same length and filled the pot with them until they were wedged in..  I then store my paint brushes (modelling ones) upright by dropping them inside one of the said straws. This keeps them seperate from each other and easy to see the one you want

Uses I have heard of

3. Blowing up a frog. Cruel and disgusting
4  The forth use is a particuarly perverted and disgusting use , which in the interest of the Forum I will not repeat here. It does make option number  3 look about on par with eating those very very sour sweets called "Toxic Waste"

Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: fsn on 12 November 2015, 08:56:13 PM
Many, many, many years ago, I converted a 20mm Churchill into an AVRE with a straw.
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: mollinary on 12 November 2015, 10:16:38 PM
Quote from: fsn on 12 November 2015, 08:56:13 PM
Many, many, many years ago, I converted a 20mm Churchill into an AVRE with a straw.

Were there many AVREs with straws in WW2?  :-\ :D

Mollinary
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: Westmarcher on 12 November 2015, 11:20:56 PM
Who knows? But AVRE's with straws?

Bound to suck.
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: FierceKitty on 13 November 2015, 12:05:34 AM
Quote from: Rob on 12 November 2015, 01:16:53 PM
A real man doesn't give a flying f... what other people think and if he wants a straw he will have one.  :)

A modern man will discuss it withhis peers and will go with the general consenus. =)

A teenager can't be bothered to get one and just before he takes a sip will wonder what the time is and pour it into his lap.

A lefty will ask if the straw was produced using carbon neutral methods and was it a fair trade purchase and point out that those capitalist barst.... in charge should be providing all honest hard working workers with straws  ;)

Dave would say "can you send me one through so i can look at it"  :)

Leon would say "we can't deal with these staws now, but perhaps in 2019 we may have a spot for them"  :)

Mad Lemmy would say "straws are this years in thing, darlings"  :)

FK would say "you've spelt straw wrong" :)

Steeleye would say "Feck you all I'm leaving..."  :(

Techno would say "Sorry I can't see at the moment I've just slipped and chopped my head off"  :o

Sunray would say "Over and Out!"  :)

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: FierceKitty on 13 November 2015, 12:08:36 AM
You might as well have posted a photograph after all that, Orcs!
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: Orcs on 13 November 2015, 01:03:39 AM
Quote from: FierceKitty on 13 November 2015, 12:08:36 AM
You might as well have posted a photograph after all that, Orcs!

No I have not described what it is, just that its far, far more disgusting than the schoolboy trick of blowing up a frog. 

I suspecty 95+ % of the forum will have no idea what number 4 actually is.
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: fsn on 13 November 2015, 08:33:34 AM
I suspect there may be a minority of 1?  :P

In which case, there may be some hope for us after all.  :D
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: FierceKitty on 13 November 2015, 11:12:46 AM
I'm afraid I know. The rest of you, cherish your ignorance.
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: Orcs on 13 November 2015, 08:09:47 PM
Quote from: FierceKitty on 13 November 2015, 11:12:46 AM
I'm afraid I know. The rest of you, cherish your ignorance.

Definitely. Discriptions will not be supplied even by PM
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: Ithoriel on 14 November 2015, 03:12:11 AM
I know too.

I  learned about it in jail. :)

OK, so the Public Library provided the local Prison Service with stock and advice for it's own library service. I was the Libraries IT guy and the prison wanted a stand alone computer system (no access to the outside world, natch) so I was sent in to work with an inmate who was a computer whizz to see if we could develop one.

Another inmate was helping with the shelving of books and similar jobs and took great delight in trying to shock "Mr Library Man" who he erroneously imagined was a sheltered and delicate flower who would wilt under the weight of his tales of depravity.

Can't say I was shocked exactly but this was one of a couple of descriptions I'd happily have lived without.
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: Orcs on 14 November 2015, 08:41:32 PM
Quote from: Ithoriel on 14 November 2015, 03:12:11 AM

Can't say I was shocked exactly but this was one of a couple of descriptions I'd happily have lived without.

I know, it was not something I was wanting to ever know. It 's a shame you can't unlearn  things
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: Duckman on 22 November 2015, 06:44:20 PM
I use a atraw. I get them with McDonalds shakes. Whats wrong with that?
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: fsn on 22 November 2015, 06:45:06 PM
Well that was the question really. Can men use straws in other than exceptional circumstances?
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: Duckman on 22 November 2015, 06:45:42 PM
Sure. Why not?
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: Duckman on 22 November 2015, 06:47:08 PM
(http://cdn2-b.examiner.com/sites/default/files/styles/image_content_width/hash/e2/db/e2db37cf429f49f211da9892473fa9cd.jpg?itok=TjpuEo38)

Men using a drinking straw is cool.
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: fsn on 22 November 2015, 06:49:14 PM
OK. Point taken.
Title: Re: Drinking Straws
Post by: Subedai on 23 November 2015, 12:06:32 PM
Apart from drinking from them I used to use cut pieces of them as shako's on my Airfix plastic Prussian conversions back in the day before the Landwehr came out. Filled with plasticine and given a generous coat of banana oil to harden the plasticine and they were great. The conversions were from the French WW I set and the straw sat quite nicely on the rim of the Adrian helmet.