It's a long drive from Liverpool, and I fell to thinking. Techno has on his profile "Techno....Most picked on member of the form since 2011" (I think he means "forum") and recently he seems to have been unscathed by any sideways comments recently.
In defence of a man whom I have come to regard as a friend I feel it behooves us (the nails for lack of which the Pendraken horse is lost) to prevent Techno from unwittingly becoming a liar due to our lack of effort.
Thus, I spent the time trying to construct some appropriate ditties to celebrate our favourite putty pusher. They're not great, but please feel free to add your own.
A fellow I know name of Phil,
had a small part in the Bill,
The waitress wasn't impressed.
"Do you sail?" I asked salty old Techno,
with a tear in his eye, he said "heck, no".
"I have managed to learn,
the bow from the stern.
I completely misused the poop-deck though."
An old putty-pusher called Phil
said "it would give me a thrill
to make some top totty -
big boobs and round botty.
It would certainly take all my skill."
A long suffering A&E nurse,
said "Techno, it could have been worse.
Your mother in law
has broken your jaw
but you shouldn't have stolen her purse."
DONT CALL US WE WONT BE CALLING YOU.
IanS
P.S. - Phil is WELSH, nothing more is needed, not even the Welsh like the Welsh, and they lack the charming arrogance of Yokies.
A haiku in his defence:
Techno
By Will Denham 41 11/12
A putty pusher
Figure sculpting genius
Unfairly bullied!
Quote from: ianrs54 on 15 September 2015, 05:40:11 PM
P.S. - Phil is WELSH, nothing more is needed, not even the Welsh like the Welsh, and they lack the charming arrogance of Yokies.
A
Yokie?I had to look that one up.
..... and I'm shocked!* :o
Are you saying you prefer a yokie to our Phil?
...... right enough. You might have a point there ..... :-\
* definition said it was a euphemism for certain lady parts.
I think we should all lay of off Techno.
we just all have to agree where we will lay him off
I've just been picking my daughter up and composed this Haiku on the way back.
Tired peering eyes.
A whisper of fresh bright steel.
Many scarlet drops.
There was a young man from Pembroke
Whose vision was slightly crook.
He sculpted his glass
Now it's first class
And passes quality control
There is nothing charming about Yorkies. (Except my ex daughter in law, and she was lucky enough to grown up anywhere else)
When asked the other day, "You miss Wales?"
The response was "No mun, she's got long blonde hair and wears a sash....."
;D
Quote from: fsn on 15 September 2015, 07:43:18 PM
I've just been picking my daughter up and composed this Haiku on the way back.
Tired peering eyes.
A whisper of fresh bright steel.
Many scarlet drops.
QuoteThere is nothing charming about Yorkies.
What!!!!! :o? A superb chocolate bar much beloved by truckers :D ;).
Quote from: Steve J on 16 September 2015, 05:48:41 AM
What!!!!! :o? A superb chocolate bar much beloved by truckers :D ;).
A) It's MILK Chocolate
B) It contains enough sugar to kill an ox.
And it's named after that county. Bear in mind that it always rains when I go to Wales, but IT SNOWS if I go to Yorkshire.
IanS
X_X :-w :-w
(I'll be back.)
Cheers - Mr just going to change his signature. =)
Wot? No posting of THIS so far??
Why is everybody always pickin' on me? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UnPzp2lmNk)
A method that right seldom fails
To get serious threads off the rails
Is to rev up the juice
And pile loads of abuse
On the head of a sculptor in Wales.
Don't apply for Poet Laureate anytime soon.
IanS
I'm glad you found someone to read it to you and explain the longer words.
Quote from: FierceKitty on 16 September 2015, 02:24:43 PM
I'm glad you found someone to read it to you and explain the longer words.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D =O =O =O
(http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/b0/b02b83d6c74004dbe7920ae9e3c2f478d46a767ba33159993712dfc8f1284be1.jpg)
Quote from: FierceKitty on 16 September 2015, 02:24:43 PM
I'm glad you found someone to read it to you and explain the longer words.
And 'ow many books you 'ad published young kitty ?
ianS
Quote from: Ithoriel on 16 September 2015, 10:55:42 AM
Wot? No posting of THIS so far??
Why is everybody always pickin' on me? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UnPzp2lmNk)
;D ;D ;D
An old oik from Runcorn named Nobby,
Decided to look in his lobby,
For some tanks he'd mislaid,
From the last time he played,
But his search just revealed a cat jobbie.
Alfred Lord Tennyson, eat your heart out !
Cheers - Phil
Proves it - the Bards all come from NORTH WALES....
IanS
Quote from: Techno on 18 September 2015, 06:41:24 AM
An old oik from Runcorn named Nobby,
Decided to look in his lobby,
For some tanks he'd mislaid,
From the last time he played,
But his search just revealed a cat jobbie.
Alfred Lord Tennyson, eat your heart out !
;D ;D ;D
I don't know about eating his heart out, but he'd probably blow his brains out.
You do get the prize for "best use of the word 'jobbie' in a limerick, 2015". I shall try and regain my title next year.
Nobby's in Runcorn? :o
While writing a limerick about a Dr
I wondered why it doesn't rhyme with Mr
No matter what you're reading
It wont rhyme with Reading.
Something that confuses Hussar Jr.
Quote from: Tawa on 21 September 2015, 09:17:30 PM
Nobby's in Runcorn? :o
Yes, yes I am. The town whose motto is "tomorrow's future, today."
Quote from: Last Hussar on 22 September 2015, 01:13:02 AM
While writing a limerick about a Dr
I wondered why it doesn't rhyme with Mr
No matter what you're reading
It wont rhyme with Reading.
Something that confuses Hussar Jr.
That sir, is genius. =D> =D> =D>
Quote from: fsn on 22 September 2015, 07:18:56 AM
Runcorn. The town whose motto is "tomorrow's future, today."
Cept no one can read it due to all the pollution.
Nobby is a complete and utter OIK
IanS
Quote from: ianrs54 on 22 September 2015, 07:55:59 AM
Cept no one can read it due to all the pollution.
Nobby is a complete and utter OIK
IanS
That's FSN's 'fog of war' :-&
That's 47 fast food outlets per square mile.
Change that from OIK to OINK.....
IanS
:@)
Cheers - Phil ;)
If you're talking politics you had better not ham it up!
This is going to turn into anther pun-fest boar, no doubt. :D
Cheers - Phil
Nobby - FECTH..
IanS
FECTH?
Is that Welsh?
or is it "Find Every Conceivable Techno Hazard"?
Oh no! It's the Fecth of the month! Tomorrow it's the Absurd.
Na. It's another dig at Runcorn. Princess Cambridge Nice Lady told husband At-least-he-looks-a-bit-like-his-father she was coming to Runcorn. He gave her some millinary advice. "Wear the Fecth Hat". Well, she thinks that what he said.
I think we are a bit unfair about poor old Techno's mishaps adventures misadventures. These things can happen to anyone. [-(
Says he who incorrectly wired a plug for the dishwasher earlier today, touched the metal inside said appliance and almost got electrocuted! #:-S
Signed - a shaking and smouldering Westie. :-[ :-[
I've just drilled through my finger.
Do you think the Techno-curse is spreading?
Quote from: Westmarcher on 04 October 2015, 01:32:54 PM
I think we are a bit unfair about poor old Techno's mishaps adventures misadventures. These things can happen to anyone. [-(
Says he who incorrectly wired a plug for the dishwasher earlier today, touched the metal inside said appliance and almost got electrocuted! #:-S
Signed - a shaking and smouldering Westie. :-[ :-[
BLue Bottom Left
BR Bottom Right
Unless
nah
No body is stupid enough to miswire the Earth, surely...
Thought the earth wuz Brown ?????, or Red.
IanS
Quote from: Last Hussar on 04 October 2015, 04:02:27 PM
No body is stupid enough to miswire the Earth, surely...
Where were you earlier today! Fat load of use telling me now! ~X(
(Yep! I miswired the Earth .... #-o :-[)
Don't know what I was thinking, LH. I can only think it was a combination of feeling
dopey dopier than usual after my flu jab yesterday and recently installing new light switches, light fittings and sockets throughout my mother-in-law's old house which is wired with Red, Black and Green. 8-}
Quote from: fsn on 04 October 2015, 02:32:56 PM
I've just drilled through my finger.
Ouch! :'(
What to do to make you feel better? :-\
How about a nice earring for the hole? :)
QuoteWhere were you earlier today! Fat load of use telling me now! At wits' end
So... you did something stupid, and its my fault because I didn't know you were about to do something stupid so didn't stop you...
You're not my wife by any chance?
I have been
told it doesn't matter it which way the live and neutral go round, it just means the fuse is on the wrong side if the appliance (it blows AFTER your expensive stereo). Not brave/stupid enough to try this myself though!
Westie's one up on me, then. ;D ;D
Never mis-wired a plug. :>
I'll take the fifth on pushing a drill bit into my finger...or trying to impale Mrs Techno in the chest, with the Black & Decker ! :-[
Cheers - Mr Safety :D
Quote from: Westmarcher on 04 October 2015, 04:50:50 PM
Ouch! :'(
What to do to make you feel better? :-\
How about a nice earring for the hole? :)
Good old Saxon invective ...
and a plaster.
however, I now realise how much I use my left forefinger.
Quote from: Techno on 04 October 2015, 05:57:44 PM
Westie's one up on me, then. ;D ;D
Never mis-wired a plug. :>
Yet.
Quote from: Techno on 04 October 2015, 05:57:44 PM
I'll take the fifth on pushing a drill bit into my finger...or trying to impale Mrs Techno in the chest, with the Black & Decker ! :-[
That's another one for the Pendraken Film Club - "Driller Killer"
Quote from: fsn on 04 October 2015, 06:01:25 PM
Yet.
Whatever you do -
don't! Otherwise it might be the O:-) emoticon for you!
Quote from: fsn on 04 October 2015, 06:01:25 PM
That's another one for the Pendraken Film Club - "Driller Killer"
;D ;D
Quote from: Last Hussar on 04 October 2015, 05:23:56 PM
So... you did something stupid, and its my fault because I didn't know you were about to do something stupid so didn't stop you...
You're not my wife by any chance?
Look! >:( Do you want sex tonight or what? :x
Quote from: Westmarcher on 04 October 2015, 06:15:37 PM
Whatever you do - don't! Otherwise it might be the O:-) emoticon for you!
;D ;D
I have more faith in Mrs T. I reckon she stands by the master electrical switch, a glass of wine in hand, every time Techno even thinks about electricity.
Quote from: Westmarcher on 04 October 2015, 06:17:46 PM
Look! >:( Do you want sex tonight or what? :x
I just want to put this image in everybody's mind - Wargamer in babydoll nighty.
You're welcome.
Quote from: fsn on 04 October 2015, 07:29:03 PM
I have more faith in Mrs T. I reckon she stands by the master electrical switch, a glass of wine in hand, every time Techno even thinks about electricity.
Mrs T doesn't know where
that particular switch is. I think she's got a
vague idea where the circuit breakers are, but she doesn't know which ones control which circuits........And she won't go anywhere near the fuses in the big barn.
(She's not tall enough to reach any of them, anyway.... ;D ;D)
Quote from: Last Hussar on 04 October 2015, 07:57:55 PM
I just want to put this image in everybody's mind - Wargamer in babydoll nighty. You're welcome.
X_X X_X X_X X_X :-& :-& :-& :-& :-&
Cheers - Terminally traumatised of Wales.
Quote from: Last Hussar on 04 October 2015, 07:57:55 PM
I just want to put this image in everybody's mind - Wargamer in babydoll nighty.
You're welcome.
The question is. What will
I wear? :-\
Techno - you anywhere near Cardiff? #1 Son is at South Wales Uni.
Quote from: Last Hussar on 04 October 2015, 11:37:50 PM
Techno - you anywhere near Cardiff? #1 Son is at South Wales Uni.
By road, I think it's something around 100 miles, LH.
As the crow flies, something more like 70 ?
Nearest 'town' to me is Cardigan.
Quote from: Westmarcher on 04 October 2015, 09:13:29 PM
The question is. What will I wear? :-\
A Hasmat suit ?
Cheers - Phil
;D
Quote from: Techno on 05 October 2015, 05:38:42 AM
A Hasmat suit ?
Cheers - Phil
Sounds ideal! Order me one in blue, please. :-bd
Quote from: Westmarcher on 04 October 2015, 06:17:46 PM
Look! >:( Do you want sex tonight or what? :x
Not my wife then.