Some while ago, I found in a large, dark bookshop, a large dark book. "Book" doesn't begin to explain it's mass, it's gravity, it's presence. It's leather binding, scratched and battered, but remarkably intact, spoke of the years that have compressed into its pages. Each page had it's own smell - dry and dusty as an arid desert, fresh and breezy as a sea voyage, dry and warm as a late summer - and here and there odd pictures and annotations decorated the borders and margins.
I began trying to read the crabby, spidery handwriting. I recognised the script a an old form of Greek, but had not the experience to decipher it. A friend in a University language department spent some weeks deciphering the text and I am very pleased to say that I have some paragraphs that I would like to share.
"I was called with my fellow villagers from my (Ionian) isle by the Satrap with my shield, and my spear and my full panoply. We boarded the trireme 'Apollo's Glory' at ... *unclear* ... days made land on a strange beach and drew our trireme safely over the high water mark (?). We had no idea where we were, but our officers conferred and determined that our fleet rested near our goal. Then we gave thanks and sacrificed and made feast. That night we rested neath the prows of our ships.
The next day the enemy appeared and we had not yet disembarked all our troops and were not ready the receive them. I gripped my spear and held tightly to my shield and cast my eye over the enemy horde. The General Datis saw me studying those ranged against us and called in a deep voice 'Ho! Sentry! Tell me what you see!'
My chest near burst it's corselet with pride, and I drew myself to my full height and made sure to draw breath before speaking.
'I see heavy infantry, regular B. They can't move that fast in that formation, and it will be some hours before they can reach us. We have plenty time to form.'
'You sure?' Queried the General.
'Sure as I am that this warm feeling in my left foot is because I've just stood in you're horse's droppings.'
'You are wise, Grey-beard' laughed Datis and threw me a Snickers bar as reward as he galloped away.
About twenty minutes later, we were struck by the Athenians. The last thing Datis screamed at me as his ship pulled away from the shore was 'Tekkno you useless *unclear*. WRG2! (?) Still using *unclear*ing WRG2'! "
Eh?
I'll re read it in the morning... But are you basically saying you got a game of 2nd in?
What am I supposed to have done now ? X_X
I didn't like Datis....He didn't have a sense of humour.
Cheers - Phil
Nope, still lost. :-\
If he's a quoting WRG at the bottom of the page maybe by some strange rite its turned the whole thing into Barkerese
That would explain the mutant apostrophes! ;D
=O =O =O =D>
Quote from: FierceKitty on 28 May 2015, 08:03:53 AM
That would explain the mutant apostrophes! ;D
The green text isn't showing up on my laptop
Another page translated! This one from a poor form of Latin.
"I was at the time, working for a manufacturer of small trinkets and votive offerings. From dawn to dusk I made small copies of the great statues of the gods for my master, a Greek called Leonidas. Yes, yes. I said "master". I was technically a slave. A manufacturing slave. Generally Leonidas was a gentle master, he beat me infrequently. Once I was even beaten by the mistress, Miladia. That was the proudest day of my life, and didn't hurt that much.
Anyway, on this day, I had been sent by my master into the courtyard. There had been a slight accident and I'd managed to put an awl through my hand. What annoyed Leonidas is that I bled on his clean toga, just as he was on his way to the forum. To make up for my mishap, I decided to tidy the yard. Even though it was Summer, I made a small fire to burn the rubbish that I collected. Whilst I brushed the dung into a more useful pile, a knock came to the gate.
Since the gatekeeper Lemmus (an old family retainer who had been kept one even though his faculties were not as they should be) was drunk under the dung pile, I opened the gate. Two young men stood there. They were clean and well groomed: their hair was neatly trimmed, their tunics gleamed white, and their sandals were beautifully polished. They were obviously Christians.
'Have you found the White Christ?' they asked. I peered around the yard. I was sure he wasn't here. They then told a long joke about how there was only one god and his son had come down to save us all from our sins. The punchline wasn't very funny, but I laughed anyway.
'Are you aware your broom is on fire?' They asked. I wondered if this was something to do with the other fellow, the one with the spirit, but one of the Christians pointed and I turned to see my broom had toppled over and was now lying in the fire. I cried in alarm, and the Christians disappeared as quickly as a Celt at bath time. I picked up the brush and began beating out the flames. Unfortunately this lead to a shower of sparks and worse. Some of these fell into the straw used for packing the trinkets, and soon the yard was filled with dense black smoke.
Coughing, I opened the gates and fled for my life - right into the arms of a returning Leonidas. He cuffed me lightly on the side of the head with his anti-thug stick. In his deep booming voice he piped 'what's happening, Tecnus?'
'The Christians ...' I began. That was enough for Leonidas! He began barking for the Praetorians and organising the neighbours into chains to throw on water and rescue his belongings. Unfortunately his efforts, magnificent though they were, were in vain and soon the fire had spread to a number of adjoining properties.
The next few days were a blur. Well torture does that to you. The hot pokers were bad, but I was quite used to being flogged. Eventually, I was dragged in front of the Emperor himself. Mighty Nero.
'What happened?' He asked. I noted his toga was covered in smoke stains and small burns.
'The Christians ...' I began. With that, Nero jumped off his gilded couch and began issuing orders.
Hope I haven't got anyone into trouble."
You OIK !!
Nobbus......Tu canis cibum !
Cheers - Tecnus (My Latin hasn't improved)
;D
OI who's chattin forigen - STOP IT NOW.
IanS ;)