Pendraken Miniatures Forum

Non-Wargaming Discussion => Fun Stuff => Topic started by: Megamatman on 16 August 2010, 01:01:08 PM

Title: WW1 - A short synopsis
Post by: Megamatman on 16 August 2010, 01:01:08 PM
Germany, Austria and Italy are stood together in the middle of the bar-room, when Serbia bumps into Austria , and spills Austria 's pint.

Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit, because there are splashes on its trouser leg.

Germany expresses its support for Austria 's point of view.

Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.

Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for cleaning Austria 's trousers.

Russia and Serbia look at Austria.

Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at.

Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone.

Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so.

Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene.

Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?

Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria , or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action.

Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium .

Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.

Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France , and punches Belgium .

France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other.

Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria .

Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings, because Britain made Australia do it.

France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.

Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting.

America waits till Germany is about to fall over, then walks over, waves a fist at Germany while Britain knocks it out, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.

By now all the chairs are broken, and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.

=O
Title: Re: WW1 - A short synopsis
Post by: Maenoferren on 16 August 2010, 01:32:35 PM
Love it! :D :D :D
Title: Re: WW1 - A short synopsis
Post by: nikharwood on 16 August 2010, 01:41:20 PM
Excellent  ;D
Title: Re: WW1 - A short synopsis
Post by: Sandinista on 16 August 2010, 04:19:05 PM
I'm sure that synopsis was carried out in the Brambles Farm Hotel
Title: Re: WW1 - A short synopsis
Post by: Leon on 16 August 2010, 04:29:10 PM
Quote from: Sandinista on 16 August 2010, 04:19:05 PM
I'm sure that synopsis was carried out in the Brambles Farm Hotel

Haha, I can't believe that place is still open!
Title: Re: WW1 - A short synopsis
Post by: Sandinista on 16 August 2010, 04:38:02 PM
My brother ran it for a while in the late 80's before taking ove Chaplin's never visited him there though, I would rather walk down Green Street on match day in a Millwall shirt - a lot safer  #:-S
Title: Re: WW1 - A short synopsis
Post by: Kebabman on 17 August 2010, 10:45:52 AM
 Better than the Osprey history of WWI but not as good as Liddel Harts :-bd
Title: Re: WW1 - A short synopsis
Post by: DanJ on 31 August 2010, 12:44:38 PM
Sounds like primary source material to me  ;)

Certainly simpler and more accurate than many.
Title: Re: WW1 - A short synopsis
Post by: Nosher on 31 August 2010, 03:00:52 PM
Funny  ;D :'( ;D :D ;) ;D