What is grey and comes in pints?
An elephant!
Am I ever going to get a rest from fetching peoples' coats ? ;) ;D
Cheers - Phil
NO
IanS
p.s. Work faster.
What did Hannibal say when he saw the Elephants coming over the Alps?
"Here come the elephants!"
What did Hannibal's wife say?
"Here comes a bunch of grapes!" She was colour blind.
Quote from: Bodvoc on 26 November 2014, 08:47:54 PM
What is grey and comes in pints?
An elephant!
Don't get it. Could someone explain it to me? :-\
I buy my elephants by the yard - FSN
Quote from: fsn on 27 November 2014, 09:48:20 AM
Don't get it. Could someone explain it to me? :-\
I buy my elephants by the yard - FSN
We're laughing at Bodvoc's deliberate use of antique measures because, of course, these days elephants come in litres.
Ithoriel (attempting to keep the forum's 15 rating :) )
Quote from: Ithoriel on 27 November 2014, 10:38:30 AM
Ithoriel (attempting to keep the forum's 15 rating :) )
We're never
that mature, surely ?....Or were you talking about combined I.Q. ? :D ;)
Quote from: ianrs54 on 27 November 2014, 09:11:20 AM
p.s. Work faster.
How ?.....Grow extra arms and hands ? ;)
I suppose I could use one of Leon's clones as a trainee cloakroom attendant, to save a bit of time. ;)
Cheers - Phil.
Quote from: Techno on 27 November 2014, 11:18:29 AM
We're never that mature, surely ?....Or were you talking about combined I.Q. ? :D ;)
Average mental age ;)
FSN - it's simply a ridiculous statement because a) colour blindness doesn't affect shape awareness, and b) elephants are grey anyway.
Quote from: Ithoriel on 27 November 2014, 11:26:38 AM
Average mental age ;)
Oh......I only class as 14, ......Perhaps I shouldn't post without supervision. :o :(
Cheers - Phil
Oh that's OK then. Quite obvious when it's explained. I was worried it was going to be an ejaculate reference.
Why do elephants wear sandals?
To stop them sinking into the sand!
Why do ostriches bury their heads in the sand?
They are looking for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals!
(at least it was clean!)
Why don't elephants eat penguins?
They can't get the wrappers off.
Why can't you contact an elephant?
It's difficult to make a trunk call on the veldt.
Well, if we're going that far back DP:
Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?
So they can hide upside down in bowls of custard.
How do you know there's an elephant in the fridge?
Footprints in the butter!
How many elephants can you fit in a mini?
Four! Two in the front and two in the back.
How many whales can you fit in the same mini?
None, it's full of bloomin' elephants!!
That's my coat there, Techno, thanks.
How does an elephant hide in a Cherry tree?
It paints its toenails pink!
================================
How does an elephant get down from a tree?
It sits on a leaf and waits till autumn!
==============================
And on a similar note...
What's yellow and highly dangerous?
Shark infested custard!
====================
Enjoy?
Gawd, some of them were old when Methuselah was a lad. Nostalgia ain't what it used to be....
Why do elephants have wrinkly soles?
To give the ants a 50:50 chance.
How do you get two whales in a mini?
Straight down the A40!
See, that one is so old it's a pre-motorway joke.
Mabel, keep the car running, I'm on me way!
These are so old I had forgotten them. 😳
Form an orderly queue for your coats, please.
Cheers - Phil (aka Chief cloakroom attendant).
Q: How does an elephant hide in a Cherry tree?
A: It paints its testicles Pink!
Q:Whats the loudest noise in the Jungle
Q: Giraffes eating cherries :)
Here's yours, as well, Mark. X_X
Cheers - Phil.
If we're going this far back in time.......
Q) What's black and dangerous and sits in a tree?
A) A crow with a machine gun :D
Why do ducks have flat feet?
To stamp out burning grass.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.
For the really mature amongst us:
Q. What sings while swimming?
A. Frankie Prawn
Phil - no rush I typed this with my coat on!😜
I had no idea there were so many elephant jokes.
=O
Quote from: Hertsblue on 27 November 2014, 04:10:17 PM
Gawd, some of them were old when Methuselah was a lad. Nostalgia ain't what it used to be....
As you went to school with him , you sould know. :)
Yeah, but he was a couple of years ahead of me and didn't like talking to kids.
My wife's all time favourite joke....
What's long and brown and sticky?
A stick.
My Partners favoritre joke
Knock ! Knock !
Whos there?
Isabelle
Isabelle Who
Isabelle necessary on a bicycle ?
I'll get her coat !
Well, if you can't beat 'em....
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Felix
Felix who?
Felix my lolly I'll thump him!
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Susan!
Susan who?
Susans an' susans o' wee beasties!
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Mary!
Mary who?
Mary they susans an' susans o' wee beasties!
Err...heh, heh.
I phoned my Doctor, a week ago.....To see if I could get an appointment to get something sorted out about my poor hearing.
Rather disappointed, as I haven't heard a damn thing from them. :D :D :D :D :D
Cheers - Phil.
Well, my Doctor gave me the new James Bond Viagra.
It made me Roger Moore!
Remind me to kick you.