Pendraken Miniatures Forum

Non-Wargaming Discussion => Fun Stuff => Topic started by: DanJ on 16 July 2014, 08:55:11 AM

Title: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: DanJ on 16 July 2014, 08:55:11 AM
With the recent announcement that the German Sausage cartell has been fined a very large amount of money I thought I'd kick off the funnies...

Have you heard about the German vegetarian pessimist?

He feared the Wurst.
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Hertsblue on 16 July 2014, 09:09:43 AM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: FierceKitty on 16 July 2014, 09:13:36 AM
Johanna Maria says it's not funny. (She's sitting opposite me right now.)
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Techno on 16 July 2014, 10:57:12 AM
Quote from: DanJ on 16 July 2014, 08:55:11 AM
Have you heard about the German vegetarian pessimist?
He feared the Wurst.

X_X X_X X_X ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 16 July 2014, 11:21:45 AM
ARGH..........

IanS :-[
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: fsn on 16 July 2014, 04:09:53 PM
What worries me is that the title of this thread is "First of the German Sausage jokes".

This promises more. 
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Fenton on 16 July 2014, 04:44:38 PM
This is going to end up with lots of jokes that have punchlines like

'Because he was a sour kraut'

But I live in hope
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 17 July 2014, 06:36:27 AM
Abandon all hope ye who enter here......

IanS  :d :d
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Hertsblue on 17 July 2014, 07:10:59 AM
Quote from: Fenton on 16 July 2014, 04:44:38 PM

But I live in hope

Is that near Manchester?
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Duke Speedy of Leighton on 17 July 2014, 08:14:38 AM
No, it's in Shropshire.  ;)
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: DanJ on 17 July 2014, 08:56:26 AM
I'm actually suprised there haven't been any more sausage jokes on this thread considering the inventive hights of humour this forum has risen to in the pasta thread!

I was listening to the story on Radio 4 yesterday moring, apparently the cartell of sausage manufacturers has been given a masive fine for price fixing, this follows similar fines to the brewers and sugar manufacturers.  The pressenter made several, in fact many, terrible jokes while interviewing an unamused  economist who kept saying how serious this case was and who obviosly didn't apreciate the interviewer's levity.

Unfortunately I can only remember the one joke.
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Techno on 17 July 2014, 09:10:05 AM
Well........Don't keep us in suspense ! ;)
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 17 July 2014, 11:28:37 AM
Quote from: Fenton on 16 July 2014, 04:44:38 PM
But I live in hope

So why don't you turn up in Broughton every Thursday, after all Hope is just up the road in North Wales....

IanS
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: mollinary on 17 July 2014, 11:52:43 AM
What sort of sausage does a dyslexic German butcher make out of Bart Simpson?

Brat-wurst!

Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Techno on 17 July 2014, 01:16:40 PM
Quote from: mollinary on 17 July 2014, 11:52:43 AM
What sort of sausage does a dyslexic German butcher make out of Bart Simpson? Brat-wurst!

Throw this man into the scorpion pit !  ;)
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Ithoriel on 17 July 2014, 05:28:16 PM
In an attempt to raise the tone ... :)

Schopenhauer - "The wurst is yet to come."

Benjamin Disraeli - " I am prepared for the wurst, but hope for the best."

Walt Whitman - "I am as bad as the wurst, but, thank God, I am as good as the best."

David Hume - "The corruption of the best things gives rise to the wurst."


Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: fsn on 17 July 2014, 07:04:54 PM
Coats for the gentlemen!
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Chad on 17 July 2014, 07:39:53 PM
Nurse the screens please!!  :o :o
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: FierceKitty on 18 July 2014, 12:22:51 AM
The best in our natures is drowning in the Wurst. - Salman Rushdie
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Hertsblue on 18 July 2014, 07:09:21 AM
What baloney!
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 18 July 2014, 01:10:57 PM
Ok - "It was the wurst of times, it was the best of times".....


IanS
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: FierceKitty on 18 July 2014, 01:27:47 PM
Aaargh!
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: FierceKitty on 18 July 2014, 01:29:32 PM
No Wurst, there is none; pitched past pitch of grief.... (If Hopkins had been German - come to think of it, his sentences do have a decidedly Teutonic tendency to go on far too long and in excessive complexity, so perhaps he secretly was.)
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 18 July 2014, 01:29:50 PM
Yes Dickens always brings the wurst out in me as well.

IanS
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: mollinary on 18 July 2014, 01:30:56 PM
What was it Hillaire Belloc wrote?    

"Always keep ahold of nurse
For fear of finding "a sausage!?"  (Or was it "something wurst"?).

I'll get my coat.

Mollinary
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 18 July 2014, 01:33:03 PM
Just to combine a thread -

I suspect this wurst is pasta it's best by date.......

IanS
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: FierceKitty on 18 July 2014, 01:35:45 PM
(Walks out in disgust at the desperation of this thread, salaming the door on his way).
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: FierceKitty on 18 July 2014, 01:36:16 PM
A banger, they call me (before anyone beats me to it).
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Orcs on 18 July 2014, 07:03:22 PM
Leon- Please can you delete this thread its just the Wurst one ever


Its OK, I have my coat on and the door open.
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: OldenBUA on 19 July 2014, 10:08:07 AM
One end to this thread won't be enough, it will need two!


:P
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: fsn on 19 July 2014, 10:17:16 AM
We're just stringing it out now.
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: OldenBUA on 19 July 2014, 10:34:52 AM
Yes, a mish-mash of all kinds of things seem to end up in it.
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Ithoriel on 19 July 2014, 11:00:57 AM
What this thread needs is more links  ;)
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 19 July 2014, 11:01:45 AM
Soya ones perhaps ?

IanS
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Hertsblue on 19 July 2014, 05:27:21 PM
Soya coming, obviously.
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Shecky on 20 July 2014, 03:32:16 AM
Andouille think this post will ever end? We seem to have a knack for extending it furter. What chorizos do we have?

Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Techno on 20 July 2014, 07:16:39 AM
 :'( :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Matt J on 20 July 2014, 09:14:52 AM
 I don't want Toulouse this thread  :)
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Last Hussar on 20 July 2014, 09:54:56 AM
Can we have a new sculpt for WSS - Prince Eugene of Saveloy.

Goes great with cabbage...
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: FierceKitty on 20 July 2014, 12:06:04 PM
And the consort, Princess Wilhelmina of Frankfurt.
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: howayman on 20 July 2014, 12:14:03 PM
Sorry but i am still looking for the sausage joke. Have i missed it?  ;)
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Last Hussar on 20 July 2014, 03:12:35 PM
That's what your wife said...
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: fsn on 20 July 2014, 04:22:03 PM
Boom! and there it is!
Title: Re: First of the German Sausage jokes
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 21 July 2014, 06:53:10 AM
Was that one a banger ?

IanS