So many questions

[Chad]

If  4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one  out of five enjoys it?     

Why  is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives  a racecar is not called a racist?   

If  it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the  others here for?   

If  Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? 

Do  Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?'   

What  hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald  men?
 

Why  did  Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
   

[Orcs]

"The Shits" is spelt diarrhoea   

[Techno]

I thought it was the 'dire rear'.
Cheers - Phil

[Subedai]

Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?

If one member of a synchronised swimming team drowns, do they all have to follow suit?

If Texas is pronounced Texas why is Arkansas pronounced Arkensaw, or, possibly should it be Texaw?