Muse

[Chad]

One day there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road in the

Highlands. Suddenly, a brand new bright red Porsche 911 appears and screeches to a halt beside

him. The driver, a woman wearing a Chanel suit, Ray Bans and a Cartier watch, steps out and asks

the shepherd, 'If I can guess how many sheep you have can I keep one?' The shepherd looks at the

large flock and says, 'Okay'. The woman connects a laptop to a mobile phone, enters the NASA

website, scans the field using a government satellite, opens a database linked to 60 Excel files with

logarithms and pivot tables then prints out a 150 page report on a high tech mini printer. She studies

the report and says to the shepherd, 'you have exactly 1,586 sheep'. The shepherd replies, 'that's

correct ‐ you can have the pick of my flock'. The woman packs away her equipment, looks at the

flock and puts an animal in the boot of her Porsche. As she is about to leave, the shepherd says, 'if I

can guess your profession, will you return the animal to me?' The woman thinks for a moment and

then agrees. The shepherd says, 'you are an Ofsted inspector'. 'Correct', responds the woman, 'but

how did you know?' The shepherd replies, 'Simple. First you come without being invited. Second,

you wasted a lot of time telling me something I already knew. Third, you don't understand anything

about the work I do but interfere anyway. ..Now, can I have my dog back?'

[Ferb]

 

[Techno]

 

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

Fourthly,
The Porsches engine is in the boot!

[Chad]

Nice one Lemmey!!

[Hertsblue]

A variation on a very old joke. The one I heard had an actuary as the subject. The dog's a nice twist, though.

[sebigboss79]

Oldie but Goldie 
We use it on the profession of business consultants 

[Leman]

Unfortunately very true - my mate, who is still in teaching, failed his lesson observation last week. Why? Apparently the lesson included a hands on exercise where the pupils had to cut out and correctly order events in a history lesson. This is now seen as wasting valuable teaching time. That would have put paid to my Blitzkrieg lesson, which the kids used to really enjoy.

[Last Hussar]

Surely DEFRA?