The worst day

[kyussinchains]

I didn't see this anywhere in the first ten pages.... apologies if it's already been told....

one day up in heaven, God is checking over the paperwork, he comes to the conclusion that he's been far too lenient in letting people into heaven, and they need to control how many people are admitted in future, he sends a memo out to St Peter which says that from 9am tomorrow, people wanting admission now have to describe their last day, unless it's particularly awful, they are not to be let in, St Peter is to use his own best judgement in this

9am rolls around and the first guy in line steps up, St Peter says "Sorry mate, but new guidelines mean you have to describe your last day to me and you can only come in if it was a bad day"

The guy says "no problem!! for a long while I'd suspected my wife of having an affair, so I decided to come home early to catch her, I burst into our 20th floor apartment to find my wife in bed naked, I look around the place and see some fingertips on the balcony, sure enough there's a guy hanging there naked, so I scream at him and stamp on his fingers, he falls and lands in the bushes below, I can see he's badly hurt but I want to finish him off so I drag the fridge to the balcony and tip it off on top of him, the mixture of effort lifting the fridge and the unchecked rage meant I subsequently had a heart attack and dropped dead"

St Peter thinks this is a pretty terrible day and lets him in

The next guy steps up, St Peter asks for his story and the guy says "oh yeah listen to this! I was practicing yoga naked on the balcony of my 21st floor apartment, when I slipped and fell over the edge, I managed to grab the balcony below, but before I could pull myself up, the guy comes out screaming at me and stamps on my fingers! I fall and land in the bushes below, it's agony, most of my bones are broken and I'm badly injured but alive, then the guy drops a fridge on top of me!!"

St Peter thinks this is a very bad day (although quite amusing) and let the guy in

The third guy steps up and St Peter tells him he needs to prove his last day was a bad one, so the guy says "so.... there I am, naked in a fridge......"

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

 

[Techno]

 
Cheers - Phil.

[Orcs]

 

[nikharwood]