Alternative meanings

[Tommy Atkins]

Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent

Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer
the door in your nightie.

Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run
over by a steamroller.

Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

Semantics (n.), pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood,
including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's prayer book
together just before vespers.

Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist
immediately before he examines you.

Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish
expressions.

Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

Frisbatarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on
the roof and gets stuck there.

[Last Hussar]

Nubile - Latest model of phone.

Medieval - Harold Shipman

Resin - To do something you have just confessed to a priest.

Sherman - Agreement from a tank driver

Hitler - The person who hits.

Lenin - Description of Mr Hutton while he is batting.

[Last Hussar]

Tommy Atkins - Thomas is with his relatives.

Hertsblue - Cardiac Arrest

[Tommy Atkins]

Nubile - Latest model of phone.

Tommy Atkins - Thomas is with his relatives.