The Rabbit (Worst joke ever?)

[Chad]

A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, " Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please ? "

The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie..

The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves.The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub, (because word gets round), gives the rabbit the pint and the Toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves.

The next night, the pub is packed.

In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.'

The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie, and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down

The next night there is standing room only in the pub.

Coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending.

The barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year

In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman,

The barman says, 'I'm sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties...'

The rabbit looks aghast.

The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, 'We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie.'

The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, 'Are you sure I will like it.'

The masses' bated breath is ear shatteringly silent...

The barman, with a roguish smile says, 'Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you'll love it.' 'Ok,' says the rabbit, 'I'll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie.' The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie.

He then waves to the crowd and leaves....

NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!

-----
One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the barman, (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his), calls time.

When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar..

The barman says, 'Who are you?',

To which he is answered,

'I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.'

The barman says, 'I remember you. You made me famous.

You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. Masses came to see you and this place was famous.'The rabbit says, 'Yes I know..' The barman said, 'I remember, on your last night we didn't have any Ham and Cheese Toasties. You had a Cheese and Onion one instead.'

The rabbit said, 'Yes, you promised me that I would love it..

The barman said, 'You never came back, what happened?'

'I DIED', said the rabbit.

'NO!' said the barman. 'What from?'

After a short pause, the rabbit said...


'Mixin-me-toasties.'

[FierceKitty]

A shaggy rabbit story, that.

[Luddite]

There's 48 seconds of my life i'll never get back.

[Tommy Atkins]

Saw rabbit and toasties in opening para, knew what punchline was going to be.

[Hertsblue]

Well, it made me laugh. 

[Techno]

And me, Ray....(Well, groan anyway) .....But I posted my reply in the wrong thread  ! 
Cheers - Phil.

[nikharwood]

 

[Tommy Atkins]

Don't get me wrong, it is a well told version of a joke that must be at least 40 years old (I remember it from when I was at school then). Should probably have used smileys in my post. 

[Vulpine]

Oh god no!

[OldenBUA]

And me, Ray....(Well, groan anyway) .....But I posted my reply in the wrong thread  ! 

So it's mixingmyposties you have then. Is it contagious? 

[Techno]

You can bog off !

This is true....Honestly !
When myself and Mrs Techno lived in our last home in Notts....I got a phone call from a friend in the village, about a wild rabbit with 'mixi' that the friend had seen on the side of the road, as she was on her way to work.
Would I go up there and rescue it....And take it to the vets..... WHY ?...IT'S DOOMED !!

Anyway.... being a soft sod, I drove out to the area indicated.....and found said rabbit.
Fortunately...From my point of view...Someone had already spotted the infected rabbit.....and flattened it with their car.....Just off the road, on the verge.

I just lied and said that I couldn't find it.

Cheers - Phil

[Hertsblue]

So it's mixingmyposties you have then. Is it contagious? 

That is a clear breach of the Nefarious Puns Act 1827, the punishment for which is transportation - probably a rusty old bicycle, pick it up on the way out. 

[OldenBUA]

As a non UK citizen, I claim that NEPA 1827 cannot be applied in this case. Furthermore, I already have a rusty old bicycle. But thanks anyway. 

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

Thgat act is inculded in the Euroipen Human rights act of Nineteencanten, in the ways and means subset.

IanS