My wife said.... Should I let her? advice please.

[Vulpine]

Anyone opening this thinking its a smutty question will be disappointed...

Ok, first up check this out http://www.pendrakenforum.co.uk/index.php/topic,6727.0.html



Me and the Wife do that thing most couples do, boar each other with things the other half doesn't care about (not always i must add, we aint one of those couples who have nothing in common and hate each other but...) she's ask's me questions about hair die and some person from work i never met before and have no interest in and I talked to her about Orcs this, Zulu that, Soviet Partizans, wanna see something I painted? 7 year war, discuss and that kind of thing.

Any way, I mention the above topic and she went... "Really?"

You see my wife is a GOT fanatic like me, and she said, "what game?"
I replied "most likely Hord of the Things"
She said "Really" again "are the rules complicated?"

So you see where this lead, she wants an army... HOTT is a simple game that I'm certain she can pick up. I would love her to do some gaming but there is down sides to letting my best friend* play
1) I once payed for and painted a Warhammer Fantasy Gonlin army she wanted and never bothers with.
2) What about other gamers, will they be ok with the other half joining in?
3) When I game will I be too easy on her and let her win?
4) When I game with her, to prove authority will I be a harsh player and therefore a g*t?
5) Will I end up painting her stuff cuz she cant be bothered or do I make her?
6) Will I want to paint her stuff and take over?
7) Does she have the mind set to catch on with the way the battle works?

Any one have experience in such things? I'm talking converting a non playing "other half" into a player, not a player who became your other half.

*= My Wife

[sebigboss79]

1. You sure you want this?
2. Really?
3. Last chance to call it off...
4. Bugger me so here we go.

My gf (now wife) painted reasonably well but got angry at all her shortcomings in doing so that she gave up. Women, being mostly perfectionists, may (or may not) become grumpy at you for their failure. As a husband you will know everything IS your fault and your best reply to any query is "Yes, darling" or "Of course, darling". Sometimes you should express not only your approval but also assurre speedy execution of her orders by using "At once, darling". Alternative wordings may be used but at your own risk.

It is quite likely that you will indeed be confined to the painting room in order to enlarge her considerably sized army / armies with the result that she is gaming and you are not. Do not worry about winning or loosing or even explanation of rules. As said before you are wrong by default which gives your wife autowin in the following circumstances: Throw D6, 1-5 wife wins, 6=roll again.

But seriously gaming with your wife can be very rewarding. If you are a good boy you may win although you loose . However I discourage from bartering for adult rewards for the winner as this will make you look NOT a loving and caring husband. If she is truely loving you and not just the game you may surprisingly find a refreshing drink brought by her expressing her concern about your tactical situation, huge workload (painting) and offer help, comfort and relieve.

It is up to you whether you wish to introduce your wife to the last domain of manly enternainment. Should she like it you will experience certain disadvantages such as loss of (foul) language, reduced personal gaming budget and lack of space for YOUR armies.

All in all we all have our package to carry and should the worst happen you can turn to Golf or housework....



But really, if she wants to, show her. It is great if partners have the same interests and thus speak the same language.

[Vulpine]

"My gf .... at your own risk."
-  I've been with her 8-9 Years, married for 4, I moght not be a good wargamer but don't worry, I know this game!.

".. confined to the painting ... she is gaming and you are not"
- This ain't a concern, although I do for see her painting and not gaming

"...bartering for adult rewards..."
- Last of my worries, although strip gaming, every unit, one peace of clothing! It just that (most likly cuz I was the youngest of siblings) if I'm winning I like to really win. I'm not a 'd*** head' gamer. I just mean if everything falls in to place (it rear, I must admit) I like to really roll over my enemy. Like I say I don't rub it in or act like a git, I just don't show any forgivness for my enemy's. Fellow players who get massicstd by me (its really rear) don't hate me for it as I'm a friendly player. I think she will take it personally.

"...introduce your wife to the last domain of manly enternainment..."
Don't think Paint it Pink will like that comment. I'm not letting my wife in on all games. Complicated ones such ad Necromunda, Doctor who and defiantly Role Play she won't want to be involved. I'm thinking of this as an additional game, hopefully my other gaming mates will also play, but this will be her only one. Not that, that set in stone, if she gets seriously involed, doesn't mess on and she paints her own army, if she then want to be involved in other games? We shal see.

"loss of (foul) language"
You ain't met my wife, that won't be a problem, or do you mean in front if my gaming mates she will have to tone it down?

"budget and lack of space"
10mm is cheap compared to Games workshop (up until a year ago I was pure GW) space shouldn't be a problem.

Thanks 79 for your advice, she will be given a chance.

[petercooman]

Get used to this face, it's the "will you paint my army for me?" face! 

On a serious note, i don't know what's stopping you. IF she wants to try the let her. IF it works out,great! IF it doesn't, at least you have spent some time togheter doing things you normally don't do togheter. It's never bad to do something refreshing in a relationship!

[Vulpine]

Get used to this face, it's the "will you paint my army for me?" face!  

On a serious note, i don't know what's stopping you. IF she wants to try the let her. IF it works out,great! IF it doesn't, at least you have spent some time togheter doing things you normally don't do togheter. It's never bad to do something refreshing in a relationship!

I can't remember what that pics about, it looks likes she's on her knees...*Edit*...   ... Anyway, yeah we will give it a go, worse case scenario, I'll keep her models.  

It's never bad to do something refreshing in a relationship! So many jokes, so little Moderators  

[i_am_win]

My missus is generally apathetic to gaming, but as she loves the walking dead, shes took part in quite a few games in my 15mm zombie dawn games, providing we use the rule of any survivor killed will shortly return as a zombie!  She even encourages campaign play and expects me to almost just referee rather than play, but at least I get to do a little more gaming than usual!

Just let her have a go, if she likes it and buzzes off it, she'll probably feel a little better about you spending cash on minis! (Thats how it seems with my wife anyway!) 

[Last Hussar]

Have you got any armies you can use as proxies?  Before buying/painting an army see if she likes it.  And the game.

PS the picture.  Was it just an excuse to show off?

[GordonY]

TBH it looks like a loo roll holder behind her, so draw yer own conclusions as to the expression, looks like "Not now Kayto!!!" to me.

[Vulpine]

IAW&LH: Not really, however Luddite does, actually it would be nice to get his take on this . He's married, he is in my gaming circle and its Lud that introduced me to HOTT. Also, does Lud like GOT and would he game it?

LH: Showing off? I presume you think she's attractive?.. I had a got myself a classic car 3 years ago. When I boart it, it needed a lot doing to it but I couldn't get a perfect one. So I got a bust up rot box within my means and did it up until it was perfect.... What's my point? When I met H, 8-9 years ago, she had excessive make up and in an attempt to changer her hair blond had made it ginger, she then back combed it. However she was a really cool lass and, just like my classic car I thought, She's within my means and with a bit of work will scrub nicely! Ain't that romantic?

That's only really a half truth, when I met her she did look like Cindy Lauper, however she was/is fantastic so I fell in love, she sorted the hair and makeup herself. 

Gordon Y: Very observant, she ain't squeezing one out tho (I'm giggling) I'm 6ft and she ain't, so we are both standing up but that is the ground flore WC. My mate reckons she looks like Tulisa Contostavlos (I think he's wrong) but it is quite funny as the setting and angle of that picture does look like one of Tulisa's vids that was leaked this year.

[barbarian]

Mine played All Things Zombie once.
Then Zombicide twice.

Then she prefers go to sleep while my mates are at home.

[Hertsblue]

I'd agree with the comment that women are perfectionists. My wife, when she's in the mood, can build really beautiful buildings. Sadly, she can very rarely be bothered. And that's the problem. I've lost track of the number of hobbies she's started and then lost interest in. Attention-span of a mayfly. My advice is - enjoy it while it lasts.   

[Vulpine]

Mine played All Things Zombie once.
Then Zombicide twice.

Then she prefers go to sleep while my mates are at home.

I'd agree with the comment that women are perfectionists. My wife, when she's in the mood, can build really beautiful buildings. Sadly, she can very rarely be bothered. And that's the problem. I've lost track of the number of hobbies she's started and then lost interest in. Attention-span of a mayfly. My advice is - enjoy it while it lasts.   

Your both right, giver her the chance but, she might give up. She's the kind that would do a spot of model painting and she has done in the past. but the grind that we all go through to get upto date or to get on with it if we wanna or not just so we can get a fully painted army on the table? Don't know if she could do that.

However, unlike 25mm models that she has picked up and got board of, 10mm ain't as much of a grind (in my opinion). There's not a lot of time base costing (I just spray the couloir there going on) and then it's just detail after that, detail seams less boring so might keep her on track. Also, it can take me a hole day to do a squad of 25mm. I can usually do 10x that in 10mm.

[Genom]

My wife does game, but alas despite her usual talent for crafty stuff i'm the painter in the family. She keeps to rules systems she enjoys and only plays with the "cute " armies (Her term) and thus has tomb kings for WFB, Skaven for Mordheim and Saracens for Warmaster. She's a bit wierd that way but does like Egyptian history.

She won't always play, it depends if it's on her list of games that she likes, but there's never any issues with my mates when she does join in (Though we do share a lot of friends), despite the fact she regularly whups all our asses in Mordheim campaigns. Her skills aren't quite so good with the other games, but it's getting embaressing at Mordheim!

You've got nothing to lose, you may gain an extra army though.

On a side note, warmaster would be good for A game of thrones. Each unit painted up under a different bannerman etc.

[Vulpine]

We will see, see seams rather stoked about it.

War master, to small for me, I like 10mm

[petercooman]

Warmaster is 10 mm!