Shameful confessions thread

[FierceKitty]

You have to confess one humiliating or disgraceful item from your past life, and one from your wargaming experience.

My starter for ten:

The first time I went to a nude beach I was too shy to strip off.

I won a championship once by not attacking at all, having worked out that I needed only a draw to get the top score.

[Nosher]

The first time I went to a nude beach I was too shy to strip off.

TOO MUCH INFO 

Personal life:
Getting dropped off at home by the local Bobby for having been caught smashing milk bottles with a catapult... wasn't piopular at home for a week or two and my ears rang for a while, both for having them slapped by the Bobby and my Dad when he got home from work.

Mind you that's nothing to the disgrace I heaped on poor old mum (God rest her soul) when I was dropped off at home by a Female Police Officer who took pity on me after I peed on her patrol car bonnet as she passed an alleyway I had chosen to releive myself in when very drunk one evening. I found out the next day that I got off with it because thankfully we went to school together and I had stuck up for her once in an argument with the class arsewipe.

Wargaming:
Getting drubbed by an opponent in BKC without causing a single casulaty to his forces

[Luddite]

While i've done one or two things others might consider shameful I can't think of anything about which i'm actually ashamed...

I don't really do the whole guilt, embarrassment, unworthiness, or disgrace thing...



Actually there is one thing i look back on that i'm embarrassed about and would change if i could.

I went to school with a chap with whom i was a good friend.  Being old muckers we had 'man banter' pretty well sorted.  He married a girl we both went to school with and ended up serving.

Desert Shield/Storm saw him deployed to Iraq.  All's well that end's well on that but at the time, he's in the desert ready to go, and the news is prepping the country for massive Alliance losses.

Anyway, i bump into his wife in a pub.  Obviously she's worried sick as he's just about to go to war...

Me being 'suitably refreshed' used 'man-banter' and came out with, 'So how is he?  Not dead yet?'  the effect on her was all too predictable.

As it turned out he came home, but still...

Of insensitivity i'm suitably ashamed and if i could go back and stop myself blurting that out i would.  Although i remained distant friends with him, its a fence i'll never be able to mend.

Definitely shameful.  Definitiely a lesson learned.

[FierceKitty]

Ouch.

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

...and I thought you were going for 'grounds for divorce'!

[sebigboss79]

When I was much younger I bought GW products and liked it 

[Techno]

Humiliating....(In my mind, at the time.)

Having the two separate tests for prostate cancer a few years ago.

Test one....

Having an optic fibre camera pushed up my 'willy' (Remember what that is Phobos ?  ) all the way to my bladder so the Doc could have a look inside.
I watched the TV monitor as they did it, to take my mind off things.....It's really quite interesting to look inside yourself in a way....
"What's that then ?....Why does it look like that ?"

Test two.....

Having an 'instrument' pushed up my 'bottom' which then fired a hollow needle through the intestine wall into the prostate itself to collect samples to test for cancerous cells.
That I was truly dreading, before it was done. (You are awake while they do this.)

In truth, it was about a thousand times less awful than my imagination had prepared me for.
When the 'team' had finished, it was a case of "Is that it ?"....."Yep"....."Brilliant !"...As I was first of the batch for the tests that day I told them I was going to stagger outside feigning agony, and tell everyone else to run away quickly.
I was told I would get such a smack if I did that.

In the end, ('scuse the pun) there wasn't anything to feel humiliated about.
All in the mind.

I was lucky....I was given the all clear.

That'll put you all off your tea.....
If any of you have to have these tests done....Take heart....It's nowhere near as bad as your imagination will make it.
Cheers - Phil.

[Leon]

If any of you have to have these tests done....Take heart....It's nowhere near as bad as your imagination will make it.

People told me that about having the snip, turned out to be one of the worst experiences of my life.  They were rummaging about down there for about 40 minutes in the end, and the anaesthetic did bugger all... 

[barbarian]

What is the snip ?

[Nosher]

What is the snip ?

Vasectomy

This is all getting a bit 'Embarrassing Bodies...'

[Techno]

People told me that about having the snip, turned out to be one of the worst experiences of my life.  They were rummaging about down there for about 40 minutes in the end, and the anaesthetic did bugger all... 

Not had that done....But one of my work colleagues at BT did.
His experience wasn't very good either.
Mr Scrotum enlarged to the point that he was walking around like John Wayne after a particularly bad landing on the horse's saddle.
Cheers - Phil.

[Albie Bach]

Vasectomy
The doctor sewed my testicle to my scrotum causing a haematoma (swelling caused by internal bleeding) during my holiday

Having an optic fibre camera pushed up my 'willy'
The room was full of male and female student doctors which was one thing. When it came to the local anaesthetic/lubricant the doctor said “Are you ready?”
I said “Yes”, swiftly followed by “Ooofff”.
“I thought you said you were ready.” he said with a grin. If you’ve had it done then you probably know what I’m talking about.

Having an 'instrument' pushed up my 'bottom'
Watching the resulting image on the screen reminded me of an Indiana Jones movie somehow.

None of the above were any sort of problem so don’t put them off when required.

[Techno]

None of the above were any sort of problem so don’t put them off when required.

Well said Little Albie.
Yep...Don't put things off....We're all guilty of this..Muppets that we are...."No...I'd rather die of shame first."

Don't risk things 'Because it's SO humiliating to get yourself checked.'

Cheers - Dr Techno

[Last Hussar]

Stitches?  You Northern Jessie- I had a couple of bits of plaster.

Mind you, I found out why they get called 'plums'- they swelled up and went all soft and purple...

[Albie Bach]

Stitches?  You Northern Jessie- I had a couple of bits of plaster.

Mind you, I found out why they get called 'plums'- they swelled up and went all soft and purple...

Sounds like a Friday afternoon job.
Perhaps I had it easy after all.