Do you know how hard it is to write a report without giving any clues to the arm

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

 

https://madlemmey.blogspot.com/2022/04/meg-crusader-period-try-out-vs-paul.html?m=1

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

Thread title sounds like it comes from the Goon Show. Nice report

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

The dirtyrottenswine! He deaded me!

[sunjester]

Turn the knob on your side.

I haven't got a knob on my side!

[Big Insect]

he-fallen-in-da-water!

[FierceKitty]

Wot time is it, Eccles, my good man?

[Big Insect]

What time is it, Eccles?
What follows is arguably the most famous single sequence in any Goon Show. The show is The Mysterious Punch-up-the-Conker (series 7, episode 18). About 25 minutes into the show, Bluebottle and Eccles are "in the ground floor attic" of a clock repairers. After listening to lots of timepieces ticking, chiming, cuckooing etc. for a while...

Bluebottle   What time is it Eccles?

Eccles   Err, just a minute. I, I've got it written down 'ere on a piece of paper. A nice man wrote the time down for me this morning.

Bluebottle   Ooooh, then why do you carry it around with you Eccles?

Eccles   Well, umm, if a anybody asks me the ti-ime, I ca-can show it to dem.

Bluebottle   Wait a minute Eccles, my good man...

Eccles   What is it fellow?

Bluebottle   It's writted on this bit of paper, what is eight o'clock, is writted.

Eccles   I know that my good fellow. That's right, um, when I asked the fella to write it down, it was eight o'clock.

Bluebottle   Well then. Supposing when somebody asks you the time, it isn't eight o'clock?

Eccles   Ah, den I don't show it to dem.

Bluebottle   Ooohhh...

Eccles   [Smacks lips] Yeah.

Bluebottle   Well how do you know when it's eight o'clock?

Eccles   I've got it written down on a piece of paper!

Bluebottle   Oh, I wish I could afford a piece of paper with the time written on.

Eccles   Oohhhh.

Bluebottle   'Ere Eccles?

Eccles   Yah.

Bluebottle   Let me hold that piece of paper to my ear would you? - 'Ere. This piece of paper ain't goin'.

Eccles   What? I've been sold a forgery!

Bluebottle   No wonder it stopped at eight o'clock.

Eccles   Oh dear.

Bluebottle   You should get one of them tings my grandad's got.

Eccles   Oooohhh?

Bluebottle   His firm give it to him when he retired.

Eccles   Oooohhh.

Bluebottle   It's one of dem tings what it is that wakes you up at eight o'clock, boils the kettil, and pours a cuppa tea.

Eccles   Ohhh yeah! What's it called? Um.

Bluebottle   My granma.

Eccles   Ohh... Ohh, ah wait a minute. How does she know when it's eight o'clock?

Bluebottle   She's got it written down on a piece of paper!

[FierceKitty]

It's between that and the Dead Parrot Sketch for the humour component in the time capsule.