Acceptable office speak

[fsn]

A Senior manager on a Skype call today said: "She will be working as an orthogonal cross cutting insert". I am still puzzling that one out.

I think I saw some on the Minibits site.

[Techno]

 

Cheers - Phil

[Last Hussar]

I'm hoping now the Head of Department has left, my manager, in all other ways a lovely person, will stop her decent in to this.

Next meeting I intend to stop proceedings and point out I'm not actually sure what 'Bottom Out' means.

Can some one give Orcs a slap on the back - he appears to be choking.

[Ithoriel]

Perhaps you could politely enquire what exactly "mooning" has to do with the subject at hand?

In defence of "office speak" it is a very useful shorthand, providing all those in the conversation are familiar with the terms used.

And, yes, I have been guilty of suggesting, in meetings, that we should "stick to our knitting" or complained that customers are understandably sceptical when we don't "eat our own dog food"

[Raider4]

If anyone ever dares to "touch base" with me I will be straight onto HR . . .

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

Ok - At this moment in time we need a face to face thinking out of the box, leaving the envelpe, taking on board any new conceptualisations that we can brainstorm.

That is how you need to chat, but what is wrong with now, a meeting, we are NOT shipping, or aircraft btw brainstorm is now considered offensive. 

[mmcv]

If anyone ever dares to "touch base" with me I will be straight onto HR . . .

We have a director who is similarly disapproving of such Americanisms, but that just encourages the senior staff to use it all the more liberally...

[Techno]

I've been very lucky, in this respect.....

When I worked in 'proper' jobs....The Post Office, and British Telecomm...there was none of this 'poop'.

Even at the Evil Empire in the late 80's early 90's the worst that ever happened was organising a meeting to have a meeting about a meeting...about 'something'.

Cheers - Phil.

[Ithoriel]

By the time I worked for them British Telecom had become BT and they were a jargon factory. TLA*s and ETLA**s abounding.

*TLA - Three Letter Acronym

** ETLA - Extended Three Letter Acronym - i.e. a four letter acronym.

[Techno]

ONE of the nice things about making the wee men for Leon, is that  he's never once descended to this kind of stuff. 

(That's not a hint for you to start, Leon......I'll post it if you do !  )

Cheers - Phil

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

Leon just has that terrible NE accent 

[FierceKitty]

Is he a knight that says NE?

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

Wrong spelling FK - it's NIIII

[FierceKitty]

I'm an ignorant colonial, remember.

[Ithoriel]

I'm an ignorant colonial, remember.

Don't sell yourself short, FK!

You're an ignorant post-colonial, surely. 

[Techno]

Nah......It's probably the accent you've picked up in Bangkok, Alexander.

Cheers - Phil

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

And you aren't a colonoal, Thialand is one the few bits West Europeans didna grab.....

[FierceKitty]

We Africans are grabbing it. In about five years, they'll all be speaking Afrikaans here!

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

Bodwerised Dutch 

[Raider4]

We Africans are grabbing it. In about five years, they'll all be speaking Afrikaans here!

Which will make for most of sub-Sarahan Africa speaking Chinese then.