Jokes

Started by Orcs, 21 October 2019, 10:42:07 AM

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Duke Speedy of Leighton

21 November 2023, 03:55:23 PM #105
At our Battle of Bosworth reenactment society practice meeting this weekend I was horrified to see the local Big Issue seller wearing the red rose of the House of Lancaster.

Cheeky; everybody knows that beggars can't be Tudors.
You may refer to me as: Your Grace, Duke Speedy of Leighton.
2016 Pendraken Painting Competion Participation Prize  (Lucky Dip Catagory) Winner

Last Hussar

21 November 2023, 05:14:07 PM #106
 :'(
I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain why you are wrong.

"The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little."
Franklin D. Roosevelt

GNU PTerry

d_Guy

21 November 2023, 05:25:51 PM #107
Ba-Dum-Bum!  X_X
Encumbered by Idjits, we pressed on

FierceKitty

22 November 2023, 02:11:55 AM #108
Quote from: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 21 November 2023, 03:55:23 PMAt our Battle of Bosworth reenactment society practice meeting this weekend I was horrified to see the local Big Issue seller wearing the red rose of the House of Lancaster.

Cheeky; everybody knows that beggars can't be Tudors.

I suppose you have to be going home now?
I don't drink coffee to wake up. I wake up to drink coffee.

Last Hussar

18 January 2024, 08:33:22 AM #109
I've got some geese for racing for sale. Let me know if you want a quick gander.
I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain why you are wrong.

"The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little."
Franklin D. Roosevelt

GNU PTerry

FierceKitty

18 January 2024, 11:34:21 AM #110
Well, I wanted a greyhound, but when I went to inspect the stock, I signed a contract to have a Peke. Serves me right for neglecting my spelling.
I don't drink coffee to wake up. I wake up to drink coffee.

Lord Kermit of Birkenhead

18 January 2024, 12:46:01 PM #111
I trust Nobby is hungary for coats...... :'(  :'(  :'(
FOG IN CHANNEL - EUROPE CUT OFF
Lord Kermit of Birkenhead
Muppet of the year 2019, 2020 and 2021

mollinary

18 January 2024, 01:35:25 PM #112

QuoteWell, I wanted a greyhound, but when I went to inspect the stock, I signed a contract to have a Peke. Serves me right for neglecting my spelling.
What a coincidence, I wanted one too! Imagine my frustration when I got it home and found out it was brown!
2021 Painting Competition - 1 x Winner!
2022 Painting Competition - 2 x Runner-Up!

Roy

18 January 2024, 01:46:45 PM #113
Quote from: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 21 November 2023, 03:55:23 PMAt our Battle of Bosworth reenactment society practice meeting this weekend I was horrified to see the local Big Issue seller wearing the red rose of the House of Lancaster.

Cheeky; everybody knows that beggars can't be Tudors.

I thought this was quite good.  ;D
Rimmer: "Aliens."

Lister: "Oh God, aliens... Your explanation for anything slightly peculiar is aliens, isn't it?

Rimmer: "Well, we didn't use it all, Lister. Who did?"

Lister: "Rimmer, aliens used our bog roll?"

Ithoriel

19 January 2024, 08:44:52 AM #114
Q: What has eight legs and flies?

A: A pair of dead horses!
There are 100 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who can work from incomplete data

Roy

19 January 2024, 12:59:22 PM #115
Quote from: Ithoriel on 19 January 2024, 08:44:52 AMQ: What has eight legs and flies?

A: A pair of dead horses!

 :)

Reminds me of the name I gave my 28mm Old West town: Dead Mule
Rimmer: "Aliens."

Lister: "Oh God, aliens... Your explanation for anything slightly peculiar is aliens, isn't it?

Rimmer: "Well, we didn't use it all, Lister. Who did?"

Lister: "Rimmer, aliens used our bog roll?"

Roy

19 January 2024, 01:11:23 PM #116
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.


post number 1,800. only taken me...how many years  :'(
Rimmer: "Aliens."

Lister: "Oh God, aliens... Your explanation for anything slightly peculiar is aliens, isn't it?

Rimmer: "Well, we didn't use it all, Lister. Who did?"

Lister: "Rimmer, aliens used our bog roll?"

Lord Kermit of Birkenhead

19 January 2024, 01:49:08 PM #117
Quotepost number 1,800. only taken me...how many years  :'(

TYPE FASTER  :P
FOG IN CHANNEL - EUROPE CUT OFF
Lord Kermit of Birkenhead
Muppet of the year 2019, 2020 and 2021

Roy

19 January 2024, 03:50:42 PM #118
QuoteTYPE FASTER  :P

Well... When I was nowt but a lad, t'was a poster on't school room wall that read typing on't keyboard be called fingering.

Always made me wonder did that poster.
Fingering.
I thought that was something else.

[just done a quick google search and its possibly called fingering, too, when playing on a (musical) keyboard.]
Rimmer: "Aliens."

Lister: "Oh God, aliens... Your explanation for anything slightly peculiar is aliens, isn't it?

Rimmer: "Well, we didn't use it all, Lister. Who did?"

Lister: "Rimmer, aliens used our bog roll?"

fsn

19 January 2024, 05:03:26 PM #119 Last Edit: 19 January 2024, 05:58:15 PM by fsn
Quotepost number 1,800. only taken me...how many years  :'(
A wise old man once said to me "the names of fools are writ large and often."



11,470 posts.
Lord Oik of Runcorn (You may refer to me as Milord Oik)

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