Loss of the SS Pendraken, and a desert island

[toxicpixie]

If they make it to the island it's available for dinner. Given the strong, heroic outdoorsman quality of the Forumites it'll probably be roasted them on a stick, mind.

[DanJ]

There is a line from a Noel Coward song (can't remember which one) which goes something like, "...and he took to pig sticking in QUITE the wrong way!"

[fsn]

I wonder what happened to him?
*trigger warning: may contain lyrics no longer acceptable*

Verse 1

The India that one read about
And may have been misled about
In one respect has kept itself intact.
Though 'Pukka Sahib' traditions may have cracked
And thinned
The good old Indian army's still a fact.
That famous monumental man
The Officer and Gentleman
Still lives and breathes and functions from Bombay to Katmandu
At any moment one can glimpse
Matured or embryonic 'Blimps'
Vivaciously speculating as to what became of who.
Though Eastern sounds may fascinate your ear
When West meets West you're always sure to hear-

Refrain 1

Whatever became of old Bagot?
I haven't seen him for a year.
Is it true that young Forbes had to marry that Faggot
He met in the Vale of Kashmir?
Have you had any news
Or that chap in the Blues?,
Was it Prosser or Pyecroft or Pym?
He was stationed in Simla, or was it Bengal?
I know he got tight at a ball in Nepal
And wrote several four-letter words on the wall.
I wonder what happened to him!

Refrain 2

Whatever became of old Shelley?
Is it true that young Briggs was cashiered
For riding quite nude on a push-bike through Delhi
The day the new Viceroy appeared?
Have you had any word
Of that bloke in the 'Third',
Was it Southerby, Sedgwick or Sim?
They had him thrown out of the club in Bombay
For, apart from his mess bill exceeding his pay,
He took to pig-sticking in quite the wrong way.
I wonder what happened to him!

Verse 2

One must admit that by and large
Upholders of the British Raj*
Don't shine in conversation as a breed.
Though Indian army officers can read
A bit
Their verbal wit-has rather run to seed.
Their splendid insularity
And roguish jocularity
Was echoing through India when Victoria was Queen.
In restaurants and dining-cars,
In messes, clubs and hotel bars
They try to maintain tradition in the way it's always been.
Though worlds may change and nations disappear
Above the shrieking chaos you will hear-

Refrain 3

Whatever became of old Tucker?
Have you heard any word of young Mills
Who ruptured himself at the end of a chukka
And had to be sent to the hills?
They say that young Lees
Had a dose of D.T.'s'
And his hopes of promotion are slim.
According to Stubbs, who's a bit of a louse,
The silly young blighter went out on a 'souse',
And took two old tarts into Government House.
I wonder what happened to him!

Refrain 4

Whatever became of old Keeling?
I hear that he got back from France
And frightened three nuns in a train in Darjeeling
By stripping and waving his lance!
D'you remember Munroe,
In the P.A.V.O?
He was tallish and mentally dim.
The talk of heredity can't be quite true,
He was dropped on his head by his ayah at two,
I presume that by now he'll have reached G.H.Q.
I'm sure that's what happened to him!

Refrain 5

Whatever became of old Archie?
I hear he departed this life
After rounding up ten sacred cows in Karachi
To welcome the Governor's wife.
D'you remember young Phipps
Who had very large hips
And whose waist was excessively slim?
Well, it seems that some doctor in Grosvenor Square
Gave him hormone injections for growing his hair
And he grew something here, and he grew something there.
I wonder what happened to her-him?

[Note: *In an early version the lack of conversational skills of the ?upholders of the British Raj? was replace by-]

Devote themselves to action and to deed.

[toxicpixie]

Coward Jo shrinking violet when it came to barbed criticism of the Establishmet, was he?! He'd be on a Murdoch/BBC black list these days and confined to comedy panel shows

[Roy]

So, from a practical point of view, does anyone know if washing paintbrushes in salt water effects the bristles?

Oh, and does anyone mind if the 'hills' used for the games are quite hairy and brown in colour? And are a bit, well, coconutty??  

Still, those palm leaves will make for excellent gaming cloths.

Things are looking up.

Now, if only I could make it ashore!

[d_Guy]

I am still swimming also - with one arm! - since I've still got the brushes - and trying to keep them out of the salt water - which I believe will ruin them! (This may have no basis in fact but I believe to be true - just as I believe European men's fashion of the late 17th century has never been equaled before or since - although the Aztecs came close).

This is the second day of this and I not even sure I'm heading in the right direction - could someone set fire to a palm tree or something?

[fsn]

*release the sharks!*

[Fenton]

*has image of FSN standing on the shore of the Island in his General Jumbo uniform and using his arm controller*

[d_Guy]

D__n! Now down to one arm while treading water,holding brushes in teeth and fending of
Sharks with a double aught brush! Clearly the ancient sea gods have not been propitiated!
Considering hurling the entire Elizabethan army at them - except the Demi-lancers of course - which have
to be conserved for the fertility ceremonies later.

[Fenton]

This is the point you can gain 'Knowledge of Pendraken Lore' points and hurl 28mm Elizabethans at them for extra damage

[fsn]

D__n! Now down to one arm while treading water,holding brushes in teeth and fending of
Sharks with a double aught brush!

Why don't you just get into the zodiac Westie's driving behind you?

[d_Guy]

Lore rating is barely a one - so 19 or 20 on a d20? If I had 28mm I would have downed already - that's why I switched to 10mm - the survivabilty factor!

Thinking of stripping and waving me lance!!

Wait! What!?  Westie behind me!!?

I see him! No...that's not a Zodiac!! And that's not Westie! WTF!!?

[fsn]

Ah! Captain Ahab and his first mate ... "call me Ithoriel".

[d_Guy]

Would like to get to the part "where he never went to sea again"!

[Ithoriel]

"The many men, so beautiful!
And they all dead did lie:
And a thousand thousand slimy things
Lived on; and so did I."  ― Samuel Taylor Coleridge, The Rime of the Ancient Mariner