Coming out of the closet?

[Nosher]

The 'What to use as an anniversary thread got me curious......

I wondered how people broke the news to their loved ones that they played with toy soldiers?

I'd more or less turned my back on the hobby in the mid-nineties after a very messy divorce. My 'toys' were all dropped off at the Wargames Club in Detmold West Germany and essentially traded in for Yellow Handbags or at bargain prices to help pay my mounting Mess Bill.

When I met Mrs Nosher about three or four years later I still had no particular hankering for getting back into the hobby, however through a friend of hers I was introduced to one of her friends husbands who was mildly interested in military stuff and the next thing I knew we were both collecting, painting and playing various wargames and its been that way ever since.

I didn't have to admit I played with Toy Soldiers, it just happened and Mrs Noshers appears to tolerate it.

With that in mind:

1. Were you a wargames before you met your significant other?

2. How did she find out about your addiction?

3. What is your significant others attitude towards your addiction?

4. Does she mention it to her friends or dress your addiction up as something else

Lets have some fun!

[skywalker]

I did wargame a bit when we first met, although at the time I was more into building models.
I got back into wargaming just after the birth of our son, 20 years ago.

She is fully aware of my addiction and is happy that I have a hobby that gives her almost free unlimited access to the TV remote

It is no secret amongst her friends because they always ask if I am around or am I playing with my little men

[old smokie]

1.

she guessed when she saw my book collection  all military

She tolerates it pretty well I don't smoke or drink much so she lets me get pretty much anything I want. I did once go a tad overboard and spent 4 figures in one go on some painted stuff "I had to have"  , she confiscated my credit card for a while     but I did bring up the small fortune she'd spent on jewellery which went down like a lead parachute 

Normal service has now resumed   

[Subedai]

1. Were you a wargames before you met your significant other?

I had been wargaming for eight years before I got married (from age 14).

2. How did she find out about your addiction?

We met at a Sealed Knot do in Brownhills (nr Brum) so it wasn't really all that stranger than dressing up in 17th Century costume and bladdering all and sundry.

3. What is your significant others attitude towards your addiction?

Originally, she treated it with a certain amount of disdain -don't forget this was 1979 and wargaming was still regarded as a fringe hobby. Nowadays, like a good cheese she has matured into a much more tolerant person and basically let's me get on with it. As far as she is concerned, I'm not out every night throwing pints down my neck and she knows where I am so it's a win win for both of us.

4. Does she mention it to her friends or dress your addiction up as something else

She normally mentions my writing first then tags wargaming on the end.

However, as an aside, when my daughter's boyfriend -now husband- first came to the house, he asked my daughter after they had left if I was a Nazi as he had seen all my military books including some on the Waffen SS units. 

MickS

[fsn]

1. Were you a wargames before you met your significant other?
Oh yes.

2. How did she find out about your addiction?
I was brazen about it.

3. What is your significant others attitude towards your addiction?
She said it was her or the hobby- one of the had to go. I don't miss her much.

4. Does she mention it to her friends or dress your addiction up as something else
She called it "playing with toy soldiers", but was happy that I wasn't out enjoying myself.

[Leman]

1. Yes

2. Saw me playing it in the school's war-games club.

3. Initially fine. Bought me a beautiful book on warfare in the classical world, which I still refer to. Bought me figures over the years - most notably some Mexican-American figures and a superb unit of 28mm French Gendarmes. Finally cited it as one of the things she found she didn't like about me before we divorced.

4. No idea.

[DanJ]

1. Were you a wargamer before you met your significant other?
Oh yes, for many years

2. How did she find out about your addiction?
I told her straight that wargaming was a hoby

3. What is your significant other's attitude towards your addiction?
Broadly tolerant, a previous boyfriend was footy mad and went off every Saturday to some match or other.  Wargaming is a lot cheaper and keeps me much closer to home except for a couple of shows a year.

4. Does she mention it to her friends or dress your addiction up as something else.
She dresses it up as 'something to do with history' or 'Dan's interested in the Romans' type of comments, which tends to kill off most conversations.  Random perusal of the main book cases show some history books but more climbing stuff so most casual visitors miss the half shelf of crusading titles among all the mountain and geology books.

[Ithoriel]

1. Yes, at least a decade.

2. Hard to miss the painting table in the corner of my room and the painted figures on the mantlepiece!

3. Apparently fine. Bought me figures, board games and books for birthdays and Christmas and put up with regular Friday night RPG sessions where half a dozen people turned up and took over the kitchen. However gaming eventually became one more thing to argue over in the run up to our separation.

4. A few were cool with it, even intrigued. A few more saw it as yet another odd thing men did and no better or worse than their own other half's pastimes. Most were probably unaware/ uninterested.

[Leman]

Is a hoby a bit like a hobo - a bit of a cardboard box, where two corners of the lid have split and the contents, though intact, are in a right mess? Or did you mean hobby?

[Ithoriel]

Is a hoby a bit like a hobo - a bit of a cardboard box, where two corners of the lid have split and the contents, though intact, are in a right mess? Or did you mean hobby?

Channeling FK there Leman?

[petercooman]

I first saw my wife at a magic the gathering tournament,about16 years ago. She was the girlfriend of my mate, who was a magic 'judge'.

Fast forward about 9 years and i saw her again, and she was getting divorced from my friend who i hadn't seen in years. (who apparently had been seeing another since they married)

Whe have been togheter ever since.

Long story short, she was accustomed to board and card games, and had seen minutare games before. (my friends brother was a warhammer player) It wasn't that hard to understand.

now for the questions:


1. Were you a wargamer before you met your significant other?

Yes i was, from the age of 12

2. How did she find out about your addiction?

see above

3. What is your significant others attitude towards your addiction?

she doesn't care, unless i spend too much and store things in the kitchen cupboards  
However, sometimes there is reason in the objections:

'that doesn't fit your other models'
'paint the ones you got first'
'you haven't used the first ones, why get more'

And the recurring catch phrase: where are you going to put that?

4. Does she mention it to her friends or dress your addiction up as something else

She once asked me to go get some models to show off when we had friends over, so she isn't ashamed of me  

[Orcs]

I have been a wargamer since I was about 11.  I typed out the rules from "Charge" on my dads ribbon typewriter using a lot of tippex.


Ex wife (Banshee from Hell - makes a Balrog look like a lovable dog)

1. Were you a wargamer before you met your significant other?

Yes

2. How did she find out about your addiction?

Told her about it as I had regular games nights while we were courting

3. What is your significant others attitude towards your addiction?

Initially quite good. She even bought me a Two godsize Waterloo Napoleonioc Armies from Battle Honours. Then once we were married she got a fairly awkward about it  - I had to earn "bvrownie points" to go to shows. She also resented my time painting, although I made sure it did not affect her or family life. She wanted me doing jobs all the time.

She even swept the entire painting table onto the floor a couple of times in a fit of anger 


4. Does she mention it to her friends or dress your addiction up as something else

She used to refer to it as playing with model soldiers

[Orcs]

Sorry need two replies do not want Mrs Orcs on same post as "The Banshee"

1. Were you a wargamer before you met your significant other?

Yes

2. How did she find out about your addiction?

She knew about it before getting together

3. What is your significant others attitude towards your addiction?

Happy that I am around house as her ex was "always on Golf course"

Wonders why I need so much stuff, but tolerates it to the extent that I have my Own room "The Den" to store stuff and paint.  I get to use the dining roomwhen I like and when Lazy stepdaughter moves out ( Please, Please ) I get her room as a regular  wargames room

Encourages me especially when I am being "Mr Grumpy" when she suggests I need to go and paint 


4. Does she mention it to her friends or dress your addiction up as something else

Annoyingly refers to it a "Like Warhammer"  How insulting   

[Orcs]

3. What is your significant others attitude towards your addiction?
She said it was her or the hobby- one of the had to go. I don't miss her much

A most excellent example for us all  

[Orcs]

One person I know had been MARRIED three years before confessing to his wife he was a wargamer