Puzzle

[Westmarcher]

A blonde called her boyfriend and said, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure it out or how to get started."
Her boyfriend asked, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde said, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle. She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle spread all over the table. He studied the pieces for a moment, looked at the box, then turned to her and said, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble the pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He took her hand and said, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of hot chocolate and then .....," he sighed, ..... "let's put all of these frosted flakes back into the box."

[Roy]

That's Grrreat! 

[FierceKitty]

Four blondes enter a bar and order a bottle of Bollinger. The barman points out that you need a mortgage to buy the stuff; they say they want it anyway, since they have reason to celebrate. They charge their glasses, clink them together, chorus "twenty-three days!", and drink the toast. Refill, "twenty-three days!", drink. Refill, "twenty-three days!", drink.
Puzzled, the host offers them 10% off if they'll explain what's going on. The leader proudly replies "There'll be no more jokes about dumb blondes when this gets out. We've just finished a jigsaw in twenty-three days - and the box warned that it would be three to four years!"

[Techno]

Nobby !!!

Three coats to chew, before they're returned.....If you'd be so kind.



Cheers - Phil

[Subedai]

Seen not long ago on FBook and copied verbatim:

A blonde lady was stuck in a snowstorm when she remembered her dad's advice: "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait until a snowplow drives by and then follow it." Eventually she saw a snowplow so she followed it along in her car. After 30 minutes, the snowplow driver stopped, got out, and walked up to the woman's car asking, "Lady, why are you following me?" She explained what her father had told her and the driver said, "Well I'm done with the Walmart parking lot now. Do you want to follow me to Best Buy?"

[Roy]

Paul Kaye, aka 'Dennis Pennis' and the model Helena Christensen - just to prove that us Gingers can be idiots too