It's the little things that irritate

[fsn]

Snappy!

I'm afraid I drifted to those fuzzy 1970's TV adverts. When they took time to sell us things, not like now when it's Buy! Buy! Buy! and you don't know if it's a toothbrush or a pregnancy test (well, that's what Auntie said anyway, but she walked with a limp for a week) and then when you do have it they say they've improved it and it's better than before and how you should dispose of the one you've got in a responsible manner and buy the new improved one but there's always different types isn't there? There's the ordinary one, but then there's always a lemon one and one that will get rid of stubborn stains and the one you take before going to bed and next thing there will be the one that's only good between 4pm and quarter past on a Tuesday, but it's not going to get any better. Then them scientists get involved and prove that the new newer one is better than the old new one which we have to dispose of carefully and why can't they do something useful like work out the cure to the common cold instead of improving things without a by-your-leave. Put anyone in a white coat and they think they're queen of Brian May and can tell you what to do because you haven't got a white coat. Anyway, it's nearly 9:30, so I just have ten minutes to enjoy a cuppa before it goes not very good, or turns to marmalade or something. Not quite sure what. Wasn't very clear on the advert. You know the one. She's standing there, all legs and teeth in the rain, and he turns up in sports car and she gets in and they get wet cos neither the two of them have the sense to realise that only posing bastarts buy a convertable in Britain. No, I've got it wrong, that's not the tea advert, that the constipation, because she's got a bag full of food that she's been throwing in there all day. Must get one of those bags. holds ever so much and doesn't leak.

Not like Auntie. Not since the toothbrush.    

[d_Guy]

@fsn

Yeah - it's pretty much short-attention-span theater (we say thee-8-er btw).
Like the adverts on YouTube where you can opt-out in five seconds - but once in a great while they do one that hooks you in.

[fsn]

I have introduced the receptionists at my place of work to  "3 second theatre". Their desk is in front of the lift (elevator), so you basically look at them as the lift door closes. That gives them three seconds to entertain, educate or generally catch attention - usually by pretending to be on the phone. Some of my favourites are:

    * "I'm telling you, he's not your father ... I'm pretty sure."
    * "Cancer. Definitely cancer ... no ... early July is Cancer."
    * "What kind of bomb?"
    * "There's a problem with the lift ... uh-huh ... oh! That sounds serious."
    * "I hear and obey ... Master ... I will do your bidding ..."

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

 

[Techno]

You're an oik, Nobby ! 

A genius......But an oik ! 

Cheers - Phil

[FierceKitty]

IV) People who keep requesting tanks on perfectly decent fora... 🐠 ;P

Wot 'e sed.

[O Dinas Powys]

I have introduced the receptionists at my place of work to  "3 second theatre". Their desk is in front of the lift (elevator), so you basically look at them as the lift door closes. That gives them three seconds to entertain, educate or generally catch attention - usually by pretending to be on the phone. Some of my favourites are:

    * "I'm telling you, he's not your father ... I'm pretty sure."
    * "Cancer. Definitely cancer ... no ... early July is Cancer."
    * "What kind of bomb?"
    * "There's a problem with the lift ... uh-huh ... oh! That sounds serious."
    * "I hear and obey ... Master ... I will do your bidding ..."

[Subedai]

I've just come across my latest annoying thing. You go onto a video link from Fbook, less than 5 seconds into said video you get a bl**dy advert THAT YOU CAN'T DELETE!!! you have to wait for the whole 30 seconds or longer before the video will restart at the point it paused. 

[Leman]

I don't have that problem because I have no idea how to go onto a video link with a Facebook.

[Orcs]

Open handed figures  that require you to attach the weapon with superglue.

This is especially true with  pikes in smaller scales, as the length of the pike and the fulcrum of where it is glues means, very little pressure is required t the top to break said weapon off.

[Orcs]

Parents who use participation  games at wargames shows to "babysit" their offspring while they go round the show.

Message to all Parents

IF YOUR TAKING JUNIOR TO THE SHOW, BY ALL MEANS GET THEM INTERESTED IN A PARTICIPATION GAME - BUT STAY WITH THEM AND PLAY YOURSELF. 

[Orcs]

OOOHHHH!!! I am on a roll here


Children whose parents allow them to touch and pick up figures at wargames shows without asking if that's ok.  Then they are surprised when asked to pay for what the child has broken !!

[Orcs]

Wargamers who fiddle with stuff on the stand for hours and hours and hours (only a slight exaggeration here)  with no intention of buying anything.  

P.S they are mainly te competition gamers who have their "Killer armies" so only buy occasionally when rule changes mean they need to modify or change their "Killer Army"

[Orcs]

Wargamers who just play with "Killer Armies"

No I don't play with them as soon as I notice this

[Orcs]

My eldest step daughter.!!!

Yes she is little and yes she is VERY irritating




P.S I am open to any reasonable offers to take her off my hands (That's reasonable in what I need to pay you)

Attractive 26 year old brunette, Nice bum (I know I should not notice, but hey!  I'm not related   ) only works part time, naïve, loud, inherently lazy. Does not know how to cook or iron, will clean when heavily berated.  Needs high speed internet and constant phone connection. (suspects she even checks phone while having s*x)

Any takers ??  PLEASE.

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

£20,000....

IanS

[Orcs]

£20,000....

IanS

I think your more insane than FSN

To clarify the insanity. He is insane to even consider taking her on for 20K

[fsn]

Hey ... even I'm not that nutty!

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

OK - I'll make it 100,000. Cash in used notes please.

IanS

[Last Hussar]

Re: It's the little things that irritate

That's what Mrs Orcs says too.