Bono

[Westmarcher]

At a U2 concert in Glasgow, Bono asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds.

Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone

"Every I time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."

From the front of the crowd, a voice with a broad Scottish accent pierced the quiet ........

"Well f**kin stop doing it then, ya evil bastard!"


[I'll get my coat]

[Subedai]

 

[Techno]

Dearie, dearie me.    

(Is that true ?....It sounds as tho' it could be.)

Nobby......Mr Westmarcher's coat, once you've finished chewing it...If you'd be so kind.

Cheers - Phil

[Roy]

 



Chap who's a stand-up comedian (fellow off Phoenic Nights - Gerrry St.Clair) told something similar, that he'd heard.

A comic's up on stage in a pub, with a boomerang in his hand.

He says to the audience; "If I throw this, do you think it'll come back?"

To which, a bloke at the bar shouts out: "If you throw it and it comes near me, it'll bloody come back at you!"


[I think I've remembered it correctly]

[fsn]

Nobby......Mr Westmarcher's coat, once you've finished chewing it...If you'd be so kind.

Yeth Mathter.

[FierceKitty]

Don't drool on my shoes, Igor!

[petercooman]

Yeth Mathter.

Is that a centurion in your cheek?

[mollinary]

Is that a centurion in your cheek?

No, he's just pleased to see you!   

Mollinary

[petercooman]

No, he's just pleased to see you!   

Mollinary

All right, nextcoat please

[Roy]

Those eyes follow you around the room! 

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

Phew, I thought it was the room following the eyes!