Where in Last Hussar commits suicide. Again

[Last Hussar]

Apparently when Sunjester knocks at the door and says "I have money for your wife." the correct response is not "Throw in a few figures and you can have her for free."

[Orcs]

Apparently when Sunjester knocks at the door and says "I have money for your wife." the correct response is not "Throw in a few figures and you can have her for free."

THat was very generous of Sunjester, To be fair you should be paying him 

Hmmm, Perhaps I have just comitted "suicide by wife"

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

Ouch!
I can hear the sound of boiling off brownie points already! 

[Last Hussar]

Also

When your wife says "Are you trying to poison me?" DO NOT hesitate before answering.

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

Lol

[FierceKitty]

I've always liked the exchange (which I hope is genuine):
Mr Churchill, if I were married to you, I'd poison youir coffee.

Madam, if I were married to you, I'd drink it.

[Ithoriel]

There are many purportedly true stories of similar exchanges. No doubt polished somewhat in the telling but possibly with a core of truth.

You madam, are ugly.
You, sir, are drunk!!
Yes madam, but in the morning I shall be sober.

Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?
My goodness, Mr. Churchill... Well, I suppose... we would have to discuss terms, of course...
Would you sleep with me for five pounds?
Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!
Madam, we've already established that. Now we are haggling about the price!

[FierceKitty]

There are many purportedly true stories of similar exchanges. No doubt polished somewhat in the telling but possibly with a core of truth.

You madam, are ugly.
You, sir, are drunk!!
Yes madam, but in the morning I shall be sober.

Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?
My goodness, Mr. Churchill... Well, I suppose... we would have to discuss terms, of course...
Would you sleep with me for five pounds?
Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!
Madam, we've already established that. Now we are haggling about the price!

I've heard that latter one about Shaw.

[Tawa]

You madam, are ugly.
You, sir, are drunk!!
Yes madam, but in the morning I shall be sober.

"If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea,"
"Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it!"

[Subedai]

Feldmarschall von Blucher was at a reception in London after Waterloo and was sitting next to a young lady.

Blucher: 'You have lovely soft hands.'
Lady: 'Thank you, I wear calfskin gloves.'
Blucher: 'I wear calfskin britches but the do nothing for my a*se!'

[Tawa]

Feldmarschall von Blucher was at a reception in London after Waterloo and was sitting next to a young lady.

Blucher: 'You have lovely soft hands.'
Lady: 'Thank you, I wear calfskin gloves.'
Blucher: 'I wear calfskin britches but the do nothing for my a*se!'

Sounds like something my Gramps would have come out with.....