Things to love about Australia

[getagrip]

Don't forget the most dangerous creature of all.....The Drop Bear !!! 

Cheers - Phil

You sculpted one?

Anyway,  the most dangerous Ozzie animal at the moment is Mitchell Johnson 

[Upgraydd]

 

[Maenoferren]

A relation of mine emigrated in the 30's and ended up in the outback working sheep. The tale goes that after spending most of payday in a watering hole he felt the need to answer the call of nature. Off he staggered into the darkness to find the dunny. 10 paces out he stood on a snake. As it didn't strike straight away he thought he had better not move. After a while his friends thought they had better go and look for him. Upon opening the door, the light spilled out to reveal relative doing his best not to breath and imitating a statue....of the snake there was no sign...there was however a length of rope under his foot.... Strangely enough he never lived it down.

[getagrip]

Smug mode

[Upgraydd]

I think this one should be taken with a grain of salt. apparently it was taken at a BBQ and the snake disappeared into the bushes after it stole the sausage.

[getagrip]

I think this one should be taken with a grain of salt. apparently it was taken at a BBQ and the snake disappeared into the bushes after it stole the sausage.

Why are you guys not permanently terrified? 

[FierceKitty]

Too drunk!

[Fenton]

When I lived in Oz the only thing that annoyed me about the wildlife was the ants...They just got everywhere it you werent careful

[Westmarcher]

Why are you guys not permanently terrified?  

With a few routine precautions, I imagine the Ozzies just get on with it. When I visited Oz, there were no bedside tables or cabinets in a couple of the places we stayed at (on my side of the bed, anyway). This meant I had to place my glasses and watch on the floor. Being of a certain age (especially after a few 'sherbet' drinks), a visit to the bathroom in the middle of the night was inevitable. In the pitch black, as I fumbled for my glasses, it was always in my mind that I might pick up an arachnid and place it on my face or step on one on the floor - but, of course, it never happened.  

[Ithoriel]

So, Private Smith is sent out to Malaya for his national service.

Among the various "talks" is one on the deadly banded python, noted for it's black and orange stripes. If encountered, they are instructed to grab it tightly by the tail with both hands and slide one hand rapidly up the body to grip it behind the head.

Private Smith turns out to have a talent for stealth and is sent out into the jungle as a scout.

A couple of hours he staggers back into camp, covered in blood and scratches, with his uniform in ribbons.

"In the name of the wee man, what happened to you!?" yells his sergeant.

"Well Sarge, I came across an orange and black snake lying across the path"

"And you didjn't grab it with both hands, you 'orrible little man!?"

"Oh no, Sarge. I grabbed it with both hands and rapidly slid one hand up behind it's head."

"And that's when it escaped and savaged you!?"

"No Sarge, that's when I found myself with a finger up the bum of the biggest bloody Bengal Tiger you've ever seen!!!"

[getagrip]

 

[Techno]

Damn !....Didn't see that punchline !!

Cheers - Phil

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

Brilliant

[Westmarcher]

 


(should have cut his fingernails)

[Leman]

There are things to love about Australia? If it's that good why were convicts sent there?