A letter to Poundland

[Last Hussar]

Sent today (EDIT In response to Techno below - I have literally just sent it - copy/paste from their contact form.  Always remember to copy BEFORE you hit send)

I am a regular customer at my local store, and its useful to have a wide array of cheap stuff close
by - let us not kid ourselves about the expected quality of anything you buy for a pound.  Its useful for hobby stuff (your floortiles are pressed into any number of uses, none of which involve actually being on a floor), and its a good way to test ideas, and if the idea is good, but the material lets me down, I know it's worth buying quality, if the idea is bad, not too much money wasted.

Which brings me to your knives.

I bought a pack of disposable cutlery.  Now I understand, at 60 pieces (20 each knives, spoons, forks) for a pound this is never going to stand comparison with Sheffield, nor do I expect them to possess the mythical sharpness of Death's scythe.

That given, I must admit to being surprised at the fact they could not cut sponge cake, but rather splintered in to 2 or 3 sharp pieces.  If your knife can not cope with a carrot cake (it was a good one, from Sainsbury's), maybe it has lost the right to be referred to as 'knife'.  May I suggest you rename then 'Novelty Table Decoration (keep away from children and the Stupid)'

Yours Sincerely

[Techno]

If that's genuine...It's terrific !
Cheers - Phil

[getagrip]

Novelty table decoration

Love it

[Roy]

 

Reminds me of the responses I always write to the local council when they ask 

[Maenoferren]

Brilliant

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

Course I'd ha took it back and demanded the manager....

IanS 

[Westmarcher]

 
Agreed. Excellent.  

[Currently giving my late father-in-law's house the Homes Under The Hammer* treatment - but with a real hammer. Needed to saw a stubborn nail to remove a shelf. Found a small hacksaw in the house, still in its packaging. Oh, good! Brand new. One draw and the blade shattered! Only then did I remember how much the old man liked Poundland!]

* British TV programme.

[Leman]

 

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

Good on ya! 

[jambo1]

Class!!

[Hertsblue]

Reminds me of the responses I always write to the local council when they ask 

Ask what? (Just curious)

[Roy]

Ask what? (Just curious)

Is there any issues local to yourself that requires our attention - potholes, household waste collection, street lamps, etc.

William Hague's office used to write the same thing once a year, before he announced he was to stand down as an MP at the general election; I always used to write back about the general level of incompetence and corruption within Richmond District Council that I knew about. His replacement, Rishi Sunak, wrote a letter asking the same question: "Is there any issue that I need to take up with your local council", to which I wrote about the 24-hour street lights in our street and the flooded bridle path that links our village-cum-town to the next village, the council refusing to fix the problem as they say it's down to the developers who are building houses, the developers then say its a council issue, both of them a total shower. The council won't fix the street light problem as they say they're on a cost-cutting initiative and to fix it would cost them money. Hence why they turn off the majority of the street lights in the village-cum-town (they haven't decided if where I live is a village still or a town!) between the hours of mid-night and five AM, but leave a number of lights turned on 24 hours a day.

We won't go into the "is it a Ministry of Defence issue, or a matter for a Civic Council?" debate that generally meets any problem that arises on Catterick Garrison. Half the time, if it wasn't for the British Army nothing would get done. This also involves the local NHS (the Duchess of Kent's Military Hospital used to be only place you could really rely upon to fix you!) the police (both the provost and yorkshire constabulary share the same building - Beach Head Lines - on the Camp [which is actually now a Garrison] and so they never know who to send out to meet an emergency call, as one can't deal with military stuff, the other civilian, so you have this stupid comedy when you try and contact them direct. Then there's the fire service and if they're on strike the replacement Green Goddesses that the Army provides. Some of the firemen crossing the picket to help, the army telling them to "go away as they're quite capable of doing their own and the fire services jobs!", a bit like that scene in the film Gangs of New York.

So just the usual council incompetence really, the same the length and breadth of the British Isles.