Polish Jokes

[Orcs]

I had to censor these even more than the German ones

Q: Did you hear about the Pole who thought his wife was trying to kill him?
A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Polish Remover".

Q: How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?
A: They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving.

Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?
A: He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.

Q: How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?
A: Turn off the carousel.

Q: Why do Polish names end in "ski" ?
A: Because they can't spell tobbagan.

Q: Do you know why the new football stadium they built in Warsaw could not be used?
A: No matter where you sat you were behind a Pole.

Q: Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash?
A: The pilot got cold, so he turned off the fan.

Q: What is long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?
A: A new last name.

Q: What did the Polish mother say when her daughter announced that she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's yours?"


Turn Signal

An English guy is driving with a Polish guy as his passenger, when he decides to pull over because he suspect that his turn signal may not be working.
He asks the Polish guy if he doesn't mind stepping out of the car to check the lights while he tests them.
The Polish guy steps out and stands in front of the car.
The English guy turns on the turn signal and asks, "Is it working?"
To which the Polish guy responds, "Yes, it's working....No, it's not working....Yes, it's working....No, it's not working...."

Road Work
A Polak is hired to paint the lines on the road.
On the first day he paints ten miles, and his employers are amazed.
But, the second day he painted just five, and on only the third day, he painted only a mile of the road.
Disappointed his boss asks what the problem was.
The Polak replies, "Well sir, every day I have to walk farther and farther to get back to the paint bucket."

[Ithoriel]

Filched from the same source as mine Orcs, by the look of it

[Szymon]

I do not like ethnic jokes 

[Ithoriel]

I play the MMORPG EVE Online in which there are four playable races, each with their own in-game stereotypes. The Amarr are slave-owning, chauvanistic, religious zealots, the Caldari are duplicitous, capitalist drones, the Gallente are amoral, decadent, hippies, the Minmatar are dumb, primitive ex-slaves whose ships are more rust than hull. This allows many non-pc jokes to be told.

Fedos are small amorphous creatures, often found on starships, that hoover up all the organic waste they can find. As a result of their eclectic diet they smell truly awful.

An Amarr, a Caldari, a Gallente and a Minmatar visit a fedo farm and the farmer says that he will give a million credits to any of them who can stay in the fedo cage for 30 minutes.

The Amarr says,"For God and the Empress!!" and walks in but runs out retching five minutes later.

The Caldari says,"For Gold and Glory!!" and walks in but runs out retching ten minutes later.

The Gallente says,"For Freedom and Love!!" and walks in but runs out retching fifteen minutes later.

The Minmatar says,"For Pete's sake!" and walks in ... five minutes later the fedos run out.

No real world minorities were harmed in the making of this joke.

[clibinarium]

Q: Why do Polish names end in "ski" ?
A: Because they can't spell tobbagan.

That's a tricky one alright.

[Szymon]

I play the MMORPG EVE Online in which there are four playable races, each with their own in-game stereotypes. The Amarr are slave-owning, chauvanistic, religious zealots, the Caldari are duplicitous, capitalist drones, the Gallente are amoral, decadent, hippies, the Minmatar are dumb, primitive ex-slaves whose ships are more rust than hull. This allows many non-pc jokes to be told.

Fedos are small amorphous creatures, often found on starships, that hoover up all the organic waste they can find. As a result of their eclectic diet they smell truly awful.

An Amarr, a Caldari, a Gallente and a Minmatar visit a fedo farm and the farmer says that he will give a million credits to any of them who can stay in the fedo cage for 30 minutes.

The Amarr says,"For God and the Empress!!" and walks in but runs out retching five minutes later.

The Caldari says,"For Gold and Glory!!" and walks in but runs out retching ten minutes later.

The Gallente says,"For Freedom and Love!!" and walks in but runs out retching fifteen minutes later.

The Minmatar says,"For Pete's sake!" and walks in ... five minutes later the fedos run out.

No real world minorities were harmed in the making of this joke.

[Fenton]

Where do  Polishers go to die?

There sent to the Lacquers yard!

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

OWWWWWW.

Out - out - out.

IanS

[fsn]

I do not like ethnic jokes 

Typical German! 



That's an ethnic joke. Sorry. - FSN

[FierceKitty]

I do not like ethnic jokes 

You are not alone in that, sir. But nearly.

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

Good grief - FSN apologized !!!!

IanS 

[Szymon]

Typical German! 



That's an ethnic joke. Sorry. - FSN

That was a great one !!!

[Techno]

Ahem !!
I've noticed that, FK.  .....You can go back to being a handsome devil now. 
(Strike a light.....You need eyes in the back of your head on this forum......... sometimes.)
Cheers - Phil