FF Legion

[17-21l]

After a skirmish with the local Arab tribe Three Legionaires find themselves  stranded in the Desert, wandering lost , hungry and very thirsty.
Mile after mile they stagger until suddenly Paddy see's an oasis surrounded by trees, they all hit the deck and scan the area for enemy. On investigation they see a tree covered in bacon!!
Due to hunger Paddy does not hessitate and runs forward, eager to taste the delicious bacon.  when suddenly the crack of a rifle fills the desert sky and Paddy eats the dirt calling out " guys - get back get back! its not a bacon tree- its a Ham bush"

(titter ye not!! )

[Steve J]

I remember a very similar joke when I was in Primary school in the early '70's. I think Max Bygraves told a version of it.

[Leon]

After a skirmish with the local Arab tribe Three Legionaires find themselves  stranded in the Desert, wandering lost , hungry and very thirsty.
Mile after mile they stagger until suddenly Paddy see's an oasis surrounded by trees, they all hit the deck and scan the area for enemy. On investigation they see a tree covered in bacon!!
Due to hunger Paddy does not hessitate and runs forward, eager to taste the delicious bacon.  when suddenly the crack of a rifle fills the desert sky and Paddy eats the dirt calling out " guys - get back get back! its not a bacon tree- its a Ham bush"

(titter ye not!! )

That's awful!

   

[17-21l]

Steven! not even a little titter!?- aw well 

[dicehead]

This soldier in the foreign legion goes to see the chaplain and says I have a bit of a problem..I've been out here for 15 years and I don't mind the digging, the marching, the endless sand, the heat and the flies it's just..well, I don't know how to say it.

"Go ahead you can tell me anything, I won't be shocked." the kindly chaplain says.

"Well, I'm just so sexually frustrated!" the soldier blurts.

The chaplain tells him not to worry and gives him the key to the camel shed and tells him to go and get laid. He goes on to tell the surprised soldier not to be ashamed, it doesn't forbid it in the bible and the entire legion has done it, even him! The soldier goes off and comes back an hour later.

"Oh thank you chaplain," he says "I never imagined sex with a camel could be so good!"

There's a long silence and eventually the chaplain says "we normally ride them into town and find prostitutes."

[Leon]

This soldier in the foreign legion goes to see the chaplain and says I have a bit of a problem..I've been out here for 15 years and I don't mind the digging, the marching, the endless sand, the heat and the flies it's just..well, I don't know how to say it.

"Go ahead you can tell me anything, I won't be shocked." the kindly chaplain says.

"Well, I'm just so sexually frustrated!" the soldier blurts.

The chaplain tells him not to worry and gives him the key to the camel shed and tells him to go and get laid. He goes on to tell the surprised soldier not to be ashamed, it doesn't forbid it in the bible and the entire legion has done it, even him! The soldier goes off and comes back an hour later.

"Oh thank you chaplain," he says "I never imagined sex with a camel could be so good!"

There's a long silence and eventually the chaplain says "we normally ride them into town and find prostitutes."

Better!

[nikharwood]

Much better 

[17-21l]

Happy days 

[Ben Waterhouse]

Two legionnaires lost in the desert for 40 days, mouths like the floor of parrot cages, see an oasis in the distance. They crawl towards it and see a number of Arabs with stalls; they crawl to the nearest stall crying "Water! Water!" Came the reply "Sorry effendi I only sell cake"; they crawl to the next: "Water! Water!" "Sorry effendi I only sell jelly" and the next "Water! Water!" "Sorry effendi I only sell custard". In utter desperation they crawl to the last stall; "Water! Water! For God's sake Water!" "Sorry effendi I only sell whipped cream." The first Legionnaire turns to the other and say "Mon brave, this is a trifle bizarre"...

[17-21l]

C'est magnique t

[slinky]

  that was good......