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Author Topic: Redhead jokes.  (Read 6963 times)
Orcs
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« on: 12 June 2012, 03:56:44 PM »


Q. How do you get a redhead to argue with you?
A. Say something

Q. How do you get a redhead's mood to change?
A. Wait 10 seconds

Q. If you love a Redhead, set her free
A. If she follows you everywhere you go
Pitches a tent in your front lawn and puts your new girlfriend in the hospital
She's yours

Q. What's safer, a redhead or a piranha?
A. The piranha. They only attack in schools

Q. How do you know a guy at the beach has a redhead for a girlfriend?
A. She has scratched "stay off MY TURF!" on his back with her nails

Q. What do you call a Redhead with an attitude?
A. Normal

Q. What does a redhead, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
A. Men always miss them

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A redhead!

Q. How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you?
A. She stops washing your clothes in the toilet bowl

Q. How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer?
A. There's a hammer embedded in the monitor

Q. How do you know when you've satisfied a redhead?
A. She unties you

Only two things are necessary to keep a redhead happy
One is to let her think she is having her own way
The other is to let her have it
Q What is the difference between a redhead and a computer?
 A redhead won't accept a three and a half inch floppy
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a redhead in bed
A: A blonde let's you leave the bed when you are satisfied - a redhead let's you leave the bed when SHE is satisfied.
Q: What’s the difference between a terrorist and a redhead?
A:you can negotiate with a terrorist.



One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his redheaded wife and pinched her on her butt and said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle."
While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence.

The next morning the man woke his redhead with a pinch on the breast and said, "You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra."

This was beyond a silence response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. With a death grip in place she said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the poolman, and your brother."
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My aim in life is to P*ss off one person a day.  Currently I am 3 years  1 month  and 23 days ahead of schedule.

The cynics are right nine times out of ten. -Mencken, H. L.

We are all above the line of normality. Its just we all draw the line at a different level
Ferb
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« Reply #1 on: 12 June 2012, 04:24:50 PM »

 Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin
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mad lemmey
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« Reply #2 on: 12 June 2012, 05:35:42 PM »

LOL!  Cheesy
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republic of tolworth
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« Reply #3 on: 12 June 2012, 06:07:11 PM »

 Cheesy
Oh happy memories  Wink
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Nosher
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« Reply #4 on: 12 June 2012, 08:16:21 PM »

All gingers must die Grin
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I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
 
Frank Carson
mollinary
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« Reply #5 on: 12 June 2012, 09:02:57 PM »

Alas, so must we all!  Sad

Mollinary
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Hertsblue
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« Reply #6 on: 13 June 2012, 11:36:45 AM »

Woah, lads. I married a redheaded Essex girl. They're not all like that (usually)  Kiss
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Nosher
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« Reply #7 on: 13 June 2012, 01:37:32 PM »

I also married and divorced (thankfully) a redhead
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I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
 
Frank Carson
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« Reply #8 on: 14 June 2012, 04:13:57 AM »

giggity  Tongue Grin Grin
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FierceKitty
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The dog is a peasant. The cat is a gentleman.


« Reply #9 on: 14 June 2012, 11:00:32 AM »

I have to put it on record that my first wife was a redhead, and a world leader for sweetness of temper and katana-like intelligence. I don't even have to mention sex appeal (she was married to me, after all).
Blondes, now....What is the blonde nursery rhyme?.......................................Hump me, dump me.
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I have not the pleasure of understanding you. Of what are you talking?
nikharwood
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« Reply #10 on: 15 June 2012, 11:18:53 PM »



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Last Hussar
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« Reply #11 on: 16 June 2012, 01:09:05 AM »

But my wife isn't a redhead
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I have neither the time or the crayons to explain why you are wrong.
Vulpine
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« Reply #12 on: 23 July 2012, 11:56:56 PM »

Mick Hutnall, he's a red head joke!
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You're just a pathetic
bunch of tin soldiers,
skulking around the
galaxy in an ancient
spaceship!
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