Some unintentional double-entendres aired on British TV and radio

Started by Chad, 16 December 2011, 12:11:48 PM

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Chad

1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

3.. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria .. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.'

5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie ( Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them . Oh my god !! What have I just said??'

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

7. A female news anchorwoman from Tyne Tees who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on 'Look North' said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on 'Sky Sports': 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there. They're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'

Steve J

 =O ;D. I remember seeing No.7 on a tv programme once and it was one of the funniest things that I have ever seen.

Nosher

Reminds me of Finbarr Saunders and his double-entendres



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I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.

Frank Carson

Techno


Rob

You've missed the all time cricket classic

"The batsmans Holding the bowlers Willy"

Techno

And the classic...."Couldn't get his leg over"....(the stumps)...Still makes me cry with laughter every time I hear dear old Brian Johnson and that nice Mr Agnew completely wetting themselves over that one....Apologies to those who aren't familiar with "Johnners" or cricket.....But hearing two people who are crying with laughter themselves just sets me off.....
Going to have to dig that one out and have yet another listen.

Cheers - Phil.

sixsideddice

OMG so so so funny....  I just choked on my mug of tea reading these  :)  ;D  =O

Shecky

A funny one I heard was a sports talk show commentator describing how in a baseball game a fair ball went into foul territory where it was impeded by an attendants chair. He said "it got caught up in the old man's stool".

Here's a portion of the audio, beginning at the 0:50 mark.

http://www.theunticket.com/e-brake-9-2-11/


NTM

Quote from: Techno on 17 December 2011, 11:51:42 AM
And the classic...."Couldn't get his leg over"....(the stumps)...Still makes me cry with laughter every time I hear dear old Brian Johnson and that nice Mr Agnew completely wetting themselves over that one....Apologies to those who aren't familiar with "Johnners" or cricket.....But hearing two people who are crying with laughter themselves just sets me off.....
Going to have to dig that one out and have yet another listen.

Cheers - Phil.

http://youtu.be/3k0qZDdfvZk

Steve J

After that wonderful 'corpseing on air', Johners and Aggers were banned from commentating together.

hamsterking

One of our local Oz Supermarket's is running a price reduction campaign under the generic heading "Going down". When they extended it to their in-store butchers we had the delightful effort by their corporate spokesmen who proudly announed "We are Going down on a huge range of meat in all our stores".

Well- it amused me.

Dave Turner

Techno

Amused me too Dave !
(Says someone who doesn't always have Mr Brain engaged when Mr Mouth's working!)

And Steve J.....Didn't know that fact.....What a spoilsport 'Auntie' can be sometimes !

Though they let that nice Mr Wogan get away with absolute murder sometimes, especially with the Janet and John stories....Yet more wonderful corpsing !!....Brilliant stuff !!
Wonder if those CDs are still available ? (Yes they are....Just looked !)

Cheers - Phil.


Steve J

If you liked the 'Janet and John', try the bits with Samantha in the sound archive and Lionel Blair on 'Sorry I Haven't A Clue'. Absolutely priceless! As an example:

You should have seen the look on Una Stubbs face when Lionel Blair managed to pull off 'Twelve Angry Men' in under two minutes.

Or

Lionel Blair got down on his knees and finished off 'An Officer and a Gentleman'.

:o ;D ;)

Techno


DanJ

A few years ago my wife saw a very expensive sports car with very low profile tyers,  "Look at that car, the wheels are almost touching the ground"

She's still embarrassed  :D