Worst Historical War Film

[Derk G]

Just watched Robin Hood 2 days ago. The only reason I wouldn't put it on this list is that Mel Gibson isn't in it....

But... Seriously... The landing craft?? Using horses as expedient battering rams? Never mind the plot....

[Leon]

I've never seen this one!

I'm considering going to see the new one.

[clibinarium]

Sharpe always got on my nerves, as it was basically 1950's WW2 cinema transported back 150 years; plucky Brits vs incompetent dastardly enemies. Fine if you like the "Boy's own" school of film making, but it just seems too cartoonish. (I'll allow the exception of the line-v-column at the end of the first series, it was pretty well done)

Strangely I am quite content with that approach in 1950's WW2 films. An odd side effect of these films on me as a naive child was that my sympathies lay usually with the Germans, I thought it wasn't fair that they got machine gunned by the dozen. Obviously this was before I learned what they had been up to.

I am not that interested in WW2, but films where they use inappropriate vehicles painted grey or green really get on my nerves; Battle of the Bulge (many other problems too) and Patton (otherwise good).

The Patriot I find the battles quite enjoyable, especially the little "Elizabethtown" snippet. Otherwise I hate the film with a passion. If you only get one big budget AWI film per century these idiots blew it six months into the 21st.
We should all says our prayers that HBO make 1776 in the next few years.

For an absolutely god-awful unwatchable film try Red Zone Cuba for the Bay of Pigs. The MST3k version is a hoot, don't try to watch it straight. And its not even Coleman Francis' worst film.

[Ben Waterhouse]

Just watched Robin Hood 2 days ago. The only reason I wouldn't put it on this list is that Mel Gibson isn't in it....

But... Seriously... The landing craft?? Using horses as expedient battering rams? Never mind the plot....

Never mind the landing craft, you call that a Yorkshire accent?

[goat major]

[] If you only get one big budget AWI film per century these idiots blew it six months into the 21st.
We should all says our prayers that HBO make 1776 in the next few years.

One of the problems with AWI films i guess is getting major US studios to accept a script which is anything other than a stereotypical Americans = heroes, Brits=villains. There is so much (understandable) mythology around the war that it would be quite a commercial risk to make a film that tried to debunk it. Having said that the recent series on John Adams was pretty well done (although pretty light on military action)

[Leveller Mutineer]

I'll buck the trend here and go for 'Cromwell'.

Richard Harris earns his fee by turning up everywhere where Cromwell didn't. 
He wasn't one of the five who were in danger of arrest in the House of Commons.  He didn't lead major formations of troops at Edgehill.  He was still only a Captain of Horse and turned up, only at the very end of the battle.  He never led the New Model Army until the Second Civil War (Fairfax was the Lord General). 

Other 'good' mistakes are,
The House of Commons and Lords sitting in the same chamber.
At Edgehill, the Royalists are seen wearing smart uniforms and the Parliamentarians ordinary plain, drab clothes.  In fact it was the other way around as Parliament was the side with all the money.  The flags should be of the same design also.  Some Parliamentarian infantry flags are actually cavalry standards (go on, get a copy and try and spot them). 
On the subject of uniforms, the New Model Army manages to NOT wear red.
Exploding shells.  You lot complain about Napoleonic artillery shells, what about the 17th century ones. :
Parliament was not outnumbered 2-1 at Naseby.  They outnumbered the Royalists.
There was no stone wall at Naseby.
At Naseby (again) Prince Rupert still has his poodle 'Boy'.  Not bad considering he was killed at Marston Moor (the very important, unmentioned battle).
John Pym postpones his death until after Naseby (he died in 1643).
Cromwell's son (also called Oliver) died of typhoid fever, not at Naseby.

I could go on, I want to give a mention to the little known ECW film 'To Kill a King'.  A complete cowpat of a movie.  I know most films portray Cromwell as a well spoken man and not at all sounding like anyone else from East Anglia, but he's portrayed here (by Tim Roth) as a kind of embittered cockney dwarf. 
There is so much wrong with this movie.  In fact, thinking about it This is ten times worse as Cromwell.

Worst Historical Film - To Kill a King     
Made even worse in that it's a modern (2003) British film about a very British subject.

[Leon]

I'll buck the trend here and go for 'Cromwell'.

Richard Harris earns his fee by turning up everywhere where Cromwell didn't. 
He wasn't one of the five who were in danger of arrest in the House of Commons.  He didn't lead major formations of troops at Edgehill.  He was still only a Captain of Horse and turned up, only at the very end of the battle.  He never led the New Model Army until the Second Civil War (Fairfax was the Lord General). 

Other 'good' mistakes are,
The House of Commons and Lords sitting in the same chamber.
At Edgehill, the Royalists are seen wearing smart uniforms and the Parliamentarians ordinary plain, drab clothes.  In fact it was the other way around as Parliament was the side with all the money.  The flags should be of the same design also.  Some Parliamentarian infantry flags are actually cavalry standards (go on, get a copy and try and spot them). 
On the subject of uniforms, the New Model Army manages to NOT wear red.
Exploding shells.  You lot complain about Napoleonic artillery shells, what about the 17th century ones. :
Parliament was not outnumbered 2-1 at Naseby.  They outnumbered the Royalists.
There was no stone wall at Naseby.
At Naseby (again) Prince Rupert still has his poodle 'Boy'.  Not bad considering he was killed at Marston Moor (the very important, unmentioned battle).
John Pym postpones his death until after Naseby (he died in 1643).
Cromwell's son (also called Oliver) died of typhoid fever, not at Naseby.

I could go on, I want to give a mention to the little known ECW film 'To Kill a King'.  A complete cowpat of a movie.  I know most films portray Cromwell as a well spoken man and not at all sounding like anyone else from East Anglia, but he's portrayed here (by Tim Roth) as a kind of embittered cockney dwarf. 
There is so much wrong with this movie.  In fact, thinking about it This is ten times worse as Cromwell.

Worst Historical Film - To Kill a King     
Made even worse in that it's a modern (2003) British film about a very British subject.

[nikharwood]

Just looked at the trailer [here if you're interested:

Visually, it looks OK enough for me to watch - and now I've had the anomalies etc listed, it'll be even more fun 

Can't recall the name now, but there was a decent [IIRC] BBC drama last year [?] about the ECW - focused on romance etc etc...

[Leveller Mutineer]

Can't recall the name now, but there was a decent [IIRC] BBC drama last year [?] about the ECW - focused on romance etc etc...

'The Devil's Whore'.   Very good visually.  Interesting story.  Not for the history buff.  If you want something more historically rewarding then get 'By the Sword Divided'. 

Before anyone asks, I do watch historically based movies on my own. Because no one else can stand being in the same room as me.  My sister tells everyone I completely ruined 'Braveheart' for her. 

There was me thinking I enhanced it. 

[Leon]

There was me thinking I enhanced it. 

[nikharwood]

'The Devil's Whore'.

That's the one...quite enjoyed it, as you say, for the storyline.

'By the Sword Divided'.

Yes indeed...I remember watching that as a young 'un 

There was me thinking I enhanced it.

[sixsideddice]

Just re-watched Cromwell, after many years of it sitting in my `to watch next` DVD collection.

Oh My God, what a load of dribble.... I was majorly disappointed. I remembered it as such a good film as a kid.

Okay, this now goes in my `most hated` pile.

hehe, the mistakes in it are appalling; almost as if Lucas made it on a bad day.

Now that series is one to look out for... I`ll do an Amazon search me thinks.

Steve :-)

[FierceKitty]

re Cromwell: the celebrated prayer "Oh Lord, thou knowest how busy I must be this day. If I forget thee, do not thou forget me." was not uttered by Ollie either. Jacob Astley, wasn't it? A Royalist commander, at that.
   

[gaiseric]

I've just read all the posts in this thread and I definitely agree about 'Battle of the Bulge' and the Sharpe films. I just can't accept 3 ranks of 20 men pretending to be a French batallion. I always thought Zulu Dawn was a bit naff especially with the uniforms and weapons. Also Waterloo - in the British battle line where are the blue Belgians, green Nassau and black Brunswickers. Add to that all the French lancers wore Polish Guard uniforms. I mean if you have got to make the uniforms in the first place, try to do it correctly.  :

Finally - thank god says everyone - a WW2 turkey. Wheels of Terror based on the Sven Hassell books. American actors pretending to be Germans, driving Russian assault guns masquerading as German tanks - horrendous    

[Last Hussar]

Shaving Ryans Privates

Didn't seem to be anything to do with the sencond world war