Acceptable office speak

Started by Last Hussar, 03 June 2020, 06:49:35 PM

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Lord Kermit of Birkenhead

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Lord Kermit of Birkenhead
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Dave Fielder

A Senior manager on a Skype call today said: "She will be working as an orthogonal cross cutting insert". I am still puzzling that one out.
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Raider4

We had a Senior Vice-President of something-or-other speaking for five minutes on the CEO's worldwide monthly Zoom broadcast.

Didn't understand a sentence she said. So much bullshit-bingo.

Ithoriel

Quote from: Dave Fielder on 30 July 2020, 05:47:46 PM
A Senior manager on a Skype call today said: "She will be working as an orthogonal cross cutting insert". I am still puzzling that one out.

Having been a "cross cutting asset" in my time, I presume she'll be working across varied teams, as required, on things that are not core to that team but are important to the project as a whole. I spent most of my time translating the things Team A asked/ told Team B into something Team B understood and vice versa for 5 separate teams.

Jack of all trades, master of none stuff. My forte :)
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flamingpig0

Quote from: Dave Fielder on 30 July 2020, 05:47:46 PM
A Senior manager on a Skype call today said: "She will be working as an orthogonal cross cutting insert". I am still puzzling that one out.

The UK is increasingly like a comedy version of North Korea with authority figures spouting  nonsense based on  ideology that they don't really understand.  North Korea has Juche and we have business masters holders who studied at dodgy Universities.
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fsn

Quote from: Dave Fielder on 30 July 2020, 05:47:46 PM
A Senior manager on a Skype call today said: "She will be working as an orthogonal cross cutting insert". I am still puzzling that one out.
I think I saw some on the Minibits site.
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Techno


Last Hussar

I'm hoping now the Head of Department has left, my manager, in all other ways a lovely person, will stop her decent in to this.

Next meeting I intend to stop proceedings and point out I'm not actually sure what 'Bottom Out' means.

Can some one give Orcs a slap on the back - he appears to be choking.
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Ithoriel

08 August 2020, 11:37:03 AM #23 Last Edit: 08 August 2020, 11:46:18 AM by Ithoriel
Perhaps you could politely enquire what exactly "mooning" has to do with the subject at hand? ;)

In defence of "office speak" it is a very useful shorthand, providing all those in the conversation are familiar with the terms used.

And, yes, I have been guilty of suggesting, in meetings, that we should "stick to our knitting" or complained that customers are understandably sceptical when we don't "eat our own dog food" :)
There are 100 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who can work from incomplete data

Raider4

If anyone ever dares to "touch base" with me I will be straight onto HR . . .

Lord Kermit of Birkenhead

Ok - At this moment in time we need a face to face thinking out of the box, leaving the envelpe, taking on board any new conceptualisations that we can brainstorm.

That is how you need to chat, but what is wrong with now, a meeting, we are NOT shipping, or aircraft btw brainstorm is now considered offensive.  :d :-*
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Lord Kermit of Birkenhead
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mmcv

Quote from: Raider4 on 08 August 2020, 02:13:24 PM
If anyone ever dares to "touch base" with me I will be straight onto HR . . .

We have a director who is similarly disapproving of such Americanisms, but that just encourages the senior staff to use it all the more liberally...

Techno

I've been very lucky, in this respect.....

When I worked in 'proper' jobs....The Post Office, and British Telecomm...there was none of this 'poop'.

Even at the Evil Empire in the late 80's early 90's the worst that ever happened was organising a meeting to have a meeting about a meeting...about 'something'.

Cheers - Phil. ;D ;D ;D

Ithoriel

By the time I worked for them British Telecom had become BT and they were a jargon factory. TLA*s and ETLA**s abounding.

*TLA - Three Letter Acronym

** ETLA - Extended Three Letter Acronym - i.e. a four letter acronym.
There are 100 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who can work from incomplete data

Techno

ONE of the nice things about making the wee men for Leon, is that  he's never once descended to this kind of stuff.  :)

(That's not a hint for you to start, Leon......I'll post it if you do !  ;D ;D ;D ;D)

Cheers - Phil