NARPO joke

[nikharwood]

NARPO = National Association of Retired Police Officers

[posted by Tostig on the BKC forum]

From the Walsall Branch entitled - Banned from Sainsbury's (didn't like shopping there anyway).

'Yesterday I was at my local Sainsbury's buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant?

So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that, no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in hospital last time. However I'd lost two stones before I awoke up in intesive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and I.V.s in both arms. I told her it was essentially a perfect diet and the way it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to give it a try again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was now enthralled with my story). Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her,no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Sainsbury's.

Better watch what you ask retired people, they have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.'