Frog

Started by Orcs, 05 November 2019, 08:12:29 PM

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Orcs


A beautiful blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet.. As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of frogs:

The sign says:

'SEX FROGS'
Only £20 each!
Comes with 'complete' instructions.

The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter. "I'll TAKE one!"
As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her. "Just follow the instructions!"
The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.

As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does EXACTLY what is specified:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise, . . . NOTHING happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says. 'If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store.'

So, she calls the pet store. The man says. "I'll be right over."

Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says. "See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!"

The man . . . looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly into its eyes and STERNLY says:

"LISTEN TO ME!!
I'm only going to show you how to do this
ONE ... MORE ... TIME!!!"
The cynics are right nine times out of ten. -Mencken, H. L.

Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well. - Robert Louis Stevenson

FierceKitty

I don't drink coffee to wake up. I wake up to drink coffee.

Lord Kermit of Birkenhead

That is truly bad !!
FOG IN CHANNEL - EUROPE CUT OFF
Lord Kermit of Birkenhead
Muppet of the year 2019, 2020 and 2021

Techno

Dearie, dearie me..... ;D ;D ;D ;D

Ian's right !

Cheers - Phil

FierceKitty

Me old mum enjoyed that one.
I don't drink coffee to wake up. I wake up to drink coffee.

Lord Kermit of Birkenhead

Quote from: Techno on 06 November 2019, 08:01:36 AM

Ian's right !

Cheers - Phil

I always is, and modist a well
FOG IN CHANNEL - EUROPE CUT OFF
Lord Kermit of Birkenhead
Muppet of the year 2019, 2020 and 2021

Westmarcher

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.