Jokes

Started by Orcs, 21 October 2019, 11:42:07 AM

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Lord Kermit of Birkenhead

Tad intellectual for you Phil ?  ;)
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Lord Kermit of Birkenhead
Muppet of the year 2019, 2020 and 2021

Techno

I know what a cat is...thank you very much.  ;)

Now....I'm listening to some Janet and John stories...and it's getting to an exciting bit....So leave me alone.

Cheers - Phil

Lord Kermit of Birkenhead

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Lord Kermit of Birkenhead
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Techno

Bog off.....

I've got to the really, really exciting bit.....Spot's chasing a ball. :o :o :o :o

Cheers - Phil ;)

FierceKitty

Doesn't that page employ that thrilling metasyntactic repetition, the rhythm of the line mimicking the accelerated heartbeat of the focalising implied canine gaze? How did it go...? Ah, yes, "Run, Spot, run!"
I don't drink coffee to wake up. I wake up to drink coffee.

Raider4

What does an agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac do at night? He lies awake wondering if there really is a dog.

An amnesiac walks into a bar. "Do I come here often?"

Techno

There IS a dog.....He's a youngster called Seamus...And he's just ripped one of the veins in my arm to b*ggery......He didn't mean it....The oik.

Blood, spurt, murder. X_X

At least I didn't do it to myself....... for once. =) =) =)

Cheers - Phil

fsn

That's not funny Techno.


Lord Oik of Runcorn (You may refer to me as Milord Oik)

Oik of the Year 2013, 2014; Prize for originality and 'having a go, bless him', 2015
3 votes in the 2016 Painting Competition!; 2017-2019 The Wilderness years
Oik of the Year 2020; 7 votes in the 2021 Painting Competition
11 votes in the 2022 Painting Competition (Double figures!)
2023 - the year of Gerald:
2024 Painting Competition - Runner-Up!

Lord Kermit of Birkenhead

A and E Now phil.... :'( :'(
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Lord Kermit of Birkenhead
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Techno

No...A lot of kitchen towel..(now red)..and a nice really big plaster seems to have done the trick.....At least my blood clots quickly...Probably 'cos it's had so much practice.

I wouldn't want to go anywhere near ANY hospital at this time. X_X

Cheers - Phil




Lord Kermit of Birkenhead

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Lord Kermit of Birkenhead
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O Dinas Powys

Quote from: ianrs54 on 28 May 2020, 06:40:43 PM
Tetanus !!!

Yeah!

Now's the perfect time to go to A&E - I was in and out in less than an hour when I burnt my hand last month - it was virtually empty!

Seriously, don't not go just because of the virus: they'll be keeping the Covid and non-Covid streams totally isolated from each other AND being super careful, constantly deep-cleaning, etc!
(I know, even though it's fantasy  :o  ;)  )

ronan

Quote from: O Dinas Powys on 29 May 2020, 01:44:15 PM
Seriously, don't not go just because of the virus: they'll be keeping the Covid and non-Covid streams totally isolated from each other AND being super careful, constantly deep-cleaning, etc!

I agree
I had to go for some medical exams, and it was  OK here in France : they were very cautious. It will be the same for you

And Tetanus is a very, VERY bad thing !  ( a friend of mine saw someone dying because of this.. )

Techno

I'm up to date on Tetanus jabs.  :D :-bd

(Probably practically immune, thanks to the amount of dirt that's got into my bloodstream over the years.)

Cheers - Phil

Lord Kermit of Birkenhead

It occurs that we might want Phil to get Tetanus - it will keep him quiet - lock jaw  :d
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Lord Kermit of Birkenhead
Muppet of the year 2019, 2020 and 2021