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Author Topic: Jokes  (Read 3167 times)
ianrs54
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« Reply #15 on: 27 May 2020, 12:13:41 PM »

Tad intellectual for you Phil ?  Wink
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Techno
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« Reply #16 on: 27 May 2020, 12:27:47 PM »

I know what a cat is...thank you very much.  Wink

Now....I'm listening to some Janet and John stories...and it's getting to an exciting bit....So leave me alone.

Cheers - Phil
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FSN IS an oik...I wonder when he'll change his signature again . :-)
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ianrs54
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« Reply #17 on: 27 May 2020, 12:48:57 PM »

So leave me alone.

NO Wink
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« Reply #18 on: 27 May 2020, 02:33:46 PM »

Bog off.....

I've got to the really, really exciting bit.....Spot's chasing a ball. Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked

Cheers - Phil Wink
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FierceKitty
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The dog is a peasant. The cat is a gentleman.


« Reply #19 on: 27 May 2020, 03:40:27 PM »

Doesn't that page employ that thrilling metasyntactic repetition, the rhythm of the line mimicking the accelerated heartbeat of the focalising implied canine gaze? How did it go...? Ah, yes, "Run, Spot, run!"
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I have not the pleasure of understanding you. Of what are you talking?
Raider4
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« Reply #20 on: 28 May 2020, 03:19:53 PM »

What does an agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac do at night? He lies awake wondering if there really is a dog.

An amnesiac walks into a bar. “Do I come here often?”
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Techno
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« Reply #21 on: 28 May 2020, 04:21:37 PM »

There IS a dog.....He's a youngster called Seamus...And he's just ripped one of the veins in my arm to b*ggery......He didn't mean it....The oik.

Blood, spurt, murder. I don't want to see

At least I didn't do it to myself....... for once. Roll eyes Roll eyes Roll eyes

Cheers - Phil
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Techno....AND STILL.....The most picked on member of the forum since 2011
fsn
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« Reply #22 on: 28 May 2020, 04:26:34 PM »

That's not funny Techno.


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Lord Oik of Runcorn
(You may refer to me as Milord Oik)

Oik of the Year 2013
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3 votes in the 2016 Painting Competition!

15mm is dead. It just doesn't know it yet.
ianrs54
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« Reply #23 on: 28 May 2020, 05:50:12 PM »

A and E Now phil.... Cry Cry
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« Reply #24 on: 28 May 2020, 06:33:36 PM »

No...A lot of kitchen towel..(now red)..and a nice really big plaster seems to have done the trick.....At least my blood clots quickly...Probably 'cos it's had so much practice.

I wouldn't want to go anywhere near ANY hospital at this time. I don't want to see

Cheers - Phil



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ianrs54
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« Reply #25 on: 28 May 2020, 06:40:43 PM »

Tetanus !!!
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O Dinas Powys
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Blowing up a storm!


« Reply #26 on: 29 May 2020, 01:44:15 PM »

Tetanus !!!

Yeah!

Now’s the perfect time to go to A&E - I was in and out in less than an hour when I burnt my hand last month - it was virtually empty!

Seriously, don’t not go just because of the virus: they’ll be keeping the Covid and non-Covid streams totally isolated from each other AND being super careful, constantly deep-cleaning, etc!
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(I know, even though it's fantasy  Shocked  Wink  )
ronan
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« Reply #27 on: 29 May 2020, 03:10:35 PM »

Seriously, don’t not go just because of the virus: they’ll be keeping the Covid and non-Covid streams totally isolated from each other AND being super careful, constantly deep-cleaning, etc!

I agree
I had to go for some medical exams, and it was  OK here in France : they were very cautious. It will be the same for you

And Tetanus is a very, VERY bad thing !  ( a friend of mine saw someone dying because of this.. )
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Techno
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« Reply #28 on: 29 May 2020, 03:16:10 PM »

I'm up to date on Tetanus jabs.  Cheesy Thumbs up

(Probably practically immune, thanks to the amount of dirt that's got into my bloodstream over the years.)

Cheers - Phil
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ianrs54
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« Reply #29 on: 29 May 2020, 03:34:50 PM »

It occurs that we might want Phil to get Tetanus - it will keep him quiet - lock jaw  Evil
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