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07 July 2020, 04:35:52 AM

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Author Topic: Acceptable office speak  (Read 249 times)
Last Hussar
Major General
Posts: 3188

Swordsman, Poet, Lover

« on: 03 June 2020, 06:49:35 PM »

It is
An unplanned short-term temporary promotion with non-tangible reward.

It is not
Your boss shovelling his work onto you

Do say
I relish the opportunity to support my colleagues while enhancing my skillset

Don't say
Do your own fecking work you lazy bastard

It is
A development opportunity

It is not
A pain in the arse.

Thank you for your co-operation.

I have neither the time or the crayons to explain why you are wrong.
Lieutenant General
Posts: 6984

« Reply #1 on: 03 June 2020, 07:25:00 PM »

You say: Thank you for this unexpected chance to improve my skill set, I'm sure you will be an invaluable source of inspiration and support

You mean: I am going to make your life hell by asking for your input on every tiny decision

You say: I realise in these straightened times that we must all step up for the good of our colleagues and the company, without thought of reward beyond a job well done

You mean: If you think the job is of no value then a valueless job is what you'll get

You say: I would like to thank you and the company for this opportunity and look forward to improving the quality and range of my skills

You mean: I'm going to put in for every training course there is, you'll be lucky to see me in the office in the next six months.

You say: In these difficult times we must learn to think outside the box

You mean:  I'm not sure how I'm going to do it yet but one way or another I'm going to prove that the sky-diving course I fancied is essential to my new responsibilities.

Smiley Smiley Smiley Smiley  Evil Evil Evil Evil Evil

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is entirely optional!
Heedless Horseman
Posts: 274

« Reply #2 on: 07 June 2020, 05:52:47 AM »

Not quotes, but:
'Monty'..".given the appropriate resources, I believe that we can resolve this in..."
'Pattton'...".Gimmee, gimmee..."
'Adolf H'..."Of Course, you have the resources...just do your job!"
'Varus'..."Oh S**t!"

Nothing changes, much...  Wink Grin
Second Lieutenant
Posts: 123

« Reply #3 on: 07 June 2020, 06:55:58 AM »

I read it just before every restructuring I have to go through
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