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19 October 2019, 05:54:54 AM

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Author Topic: BKC-IV Released at Salute!  (Read 4145 times)
fsn
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« Reply #45 on: 18 June 2019, 08:35:27 AM »

It's a little known fact - whisper is softly - that Techno is so old because of a sad and tragic story. Before WRG v1, before the Blessed Featherstone, before the Precursor Wells, in a time of savagery when even the Prussian Staff Corps was unaware - there dwelt in the land a daemon. This daemon was formless and without rule or standard base size. It knew not d6 or d10, but threw rocks instead. It painted everything with blood (gloss) and scorned boundaries in favour of outandish sweeping movements that threw men aside as if they were tiny metal figures.

From the Void the Darker Lord looked upon the world of men and laughed, 'cos frankly he could be a bit of b. Eventually, he saw the evil that the Daemon created in the realm of man, and decided to act. It was either that or mowing the lawn. The Darker Lord realised that his strength alone was not enough to defeat the Daemon, so he (by some unsavoury process) created the Dark Lord, who was like the Darker Lord, but with a slightly less funny accent, and a passion for knitwear.

Together the two Lords descended from the Void (probably using the A1) and came into the world of man. There, they saw the chaos, and heards the wails of the suffering, and smelt the aroma of fear. They decided to go for a pint and talk things over, for they were unsure and afraid. So afraid, that a little bit of wee came out. The Darker Lord could blame his age, but there was nothing down for the Dark Lord.

In their counsel, they decided that even they with their unnatural powers could not defeat the Daemon. The Dark Lord suggested that the Darker Lord create a Mid-Shade Lord, but the Darker Lord wasn't too keen. Firstly, there was all the unsavoury practices, and secondly he didn't think the Mid-Shade Lord was a very good name for a power from the Void. After more Newcastle Brown, the Lords of the Void came up with a plan. A cunning plan. As cunning as a fox with two tails - but they needed a dupe, a patsy, a fall guy. The Darker Lord knew the very chap, so off the pair went to Nottingham.

Unaware of the designs of the Lords of the Void, Techno was happily creating Blood Bowl, and orcs and ... y'know. Things. He was in Nottingham, sat on his workbench, his hairy feet crossed over his hairy head, whittling away. He was told to stop, because whittling didn't mean what he thought, and that was disgusting and please could he put on some socks and shoes.

And trousers.

Anyway, Techno was a happy chap. He whistled the songs of ABBA as he drew inspiration from Chaos, and possibly from dreams powered by strong cheese, and was content. His mood changed and he was afeared when suddenly before him stood the Darker and the Dark Lord. He too emitted a little bit of wee. The Dark Lord smiled knowing bladder control was not only his problem, and wondered about Tena for Men.

Whilst the Dark Lord was thus engaged, the Darker Lord was negotiating with Techno. It was the kind of negotiation that involved the twin strands of threats, and more threats. With no option but to agree of face an eternity in the very worst place in existence (Hull - look it up), Techno agreed to be a part of the Darker Lord's plan. They all laughed in that rather melodramatic way, and the Darker Lord rubbed his hands together - for he was hoping for the part of Baron Hardup in the Void and Middle-Borough's Amateur Stage Stars pantomime that year.*

In a trice (using the M5) the trio found themselves in Wales. This was odd because they were heading for Scotland, but Techno told them to turn left at the end of the road.

There, they confronted the Daemon and after a titanic struggle, the Lords of the Void imprisoned it under the ground where it could not affect the world of men. They gave unto Techno eternal life (with aging obviously), and a supply of green putty and set him over the Daemon's prison. As long as Techno continues to make figures out of green putty; bringing form from the formless the Daemon remains under the ground. But should Techno stop, then the Daemon will rise from the earth and begin again his rampaging.

And you say he does nothing!


Footnote. During the struggle with the Daemon the Darker Lord's powers were much dimished, and so after returning to the Void, the Dark Lord overthrew him, and struck him down, and chained him to a casting machine - for the Dark Lord could also be a bit of a b.    

  
* He didn't get it. They were doing Aladdin.
« Last Edit: 18 June 2019, 10:14:35 AM by fsn » Logged

Lord Oik of Runcorn
(You may refer to me as Milord Oik)

Oik of the Year 2013
Oik of the Year 2014
Prize for originality and 'having a go, bless him', 2015
3 votes in the 2016 Painting Competition!

15mm is dead. It just doesn't know it yet.
paulr
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« Reply #46 on: 18 June 2019, 09:01:14 AM »

 Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin

And its not even Christmas Smiley
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2018 Painting Competition - Runner-Up!
Big Insect
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« Reply #47 on: 18 June 2019, 09:58:05 AM »

Very very good FSN .... I can feel a set of Fantasy rules coming on .... oh, no, that was just the cheese I ate too late last night!

Have you also forgotten to mention the Priestly conjurer of great fire demons or the Elven craft-master of Dalimore ... all be it that they were also the spawn of the 2 lesser hells of Nottingham and SaufLunden?

Mark
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Techno
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« Reply #48 on: 18 June 2019, 12:06:36 PM »

NOBBY !!

You're a complete OIK !

Paul.....PLEASE don't encourage him.  Grin Grin Grin Grin

Cheers - Phil (Who wishes Nobby would learn to use his sodding answering service. I don't want to see)
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FSN IS an oik...I wonder when he'll change his signature again . :-)
Techno....AND STILL.....The most picked on member of the forum since 2011
fsn
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« Reply #49 on: 18 June 2019, 12:33:14 PM »

I have an answering service?  Shocked
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Lord Oik of Runcorn
(You may refer to me as Milord Oik)

Oik of the Year 2013
Oik of the Year 2014
Prize for originality and 'having a go, bless him', 2015
3 votes in the 2016 Painting Competition!

15mm is dead. It just doesn't know it yet.
Techno
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« Reply #50 on: 18 June 2019, 12:54:05 PM »

YES.....YOU OIK !!!.......(Gimme strength. I don't want to see)

(One day Nobby will learn how to use it, and find there are hundreds of messages on it)

I mean.... You're so, SO much better at modern technology than me, Nobby...But the really simple stuff. I don't want to see

Cheers - Phil  Wink Grin Grin Grin Grin



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FSN IS an oik...I wonder when he'll change his signature again . :-)
Techno....AND STILL.....The most picked on member of the forum since 2011
fred.
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WWW
« Reply #51 on: 18 June 2019, 06:21:34 PM »

I have an answering service?  Shocked

Well the number you told Techno was yours, appears to have.
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2011 Painting Competition - Winner!
2012 Painting Competition - 2 x Runner-Up!
2016 Painting Competition - Runner-Up!
2017 Paint-Off - 3 x Winner!
ianrs54
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WWW
« Reply #52 on: 19 June 2019, 08:32:38 AM »

Its more likley Phil cant us a phone....after all its very modern technology to him.  Grin
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FOG IN CHANNEL - EUROPE CUT OFF HURRAY

Muppet of the year 2019
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