Dog Food Diet

Started by Orcs, 11 February 2019, 12:15:06 AM

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Orcs


"I was buying a large bag of dog food  for my dog at the supermarket and standing in line at the check out.

"A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

"On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting the Dog Food Diet  again although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

"I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with dog food  nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

"I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.

"Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the dog food. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me.



The cynics are right nine times out of ten. -Mencken, H. L.

Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Techno

 =O =O =O =O

Love it !!!

That made 'I' larf.......I nearly spat my chewing gum out.

Cheers - Phil

d_Guy

As this is Orcs I have to ask, did this really happen?  :o  ;)
Sleep with clean hands ...

Orcs

Quote from: d_Guy on 11 February 2019, 05:17:35 PM
As this is Orcs I have to ask, did this really happen?  :o  ;)

Nah the truck missed me, but I did get a black eye for humping an attractive ladies leg!  :)
The cynics are right nine times out of ten. -Mencken, H. L.

Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well. - Robert Louis Stevenson

d_Guy

Balance has been restored to the universe!  :D
Sleep with clean hands ...

Womble67

lol that made my day

Take care

Andy
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