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23 February 2019, 06:47:34 AM

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Author Topic: Dog Food Diet  (Read 278 times)
Orcs
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« on: 11 February 2019, 12:15:06 AM »


“I was buying a large bag of dog food  for my dog at the supermarket and standing in line at the check out.

“A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

“On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting the Dog Food Diet  again although I probably shouldn’t because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

“I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with dog food  nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

“I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.

“Horrified, she asked if I’d ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the dog food. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle’s ass and a car hit me.



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My aim in life is to P*ss off one person a day.  Currently I am 3 years  1 month  and 23 days ahead of schedule.

The cynics are right nine times out of ten. -Mencken, H. L.

We are all above the line of normality. Its just we all draw the line at a different level
Techno
Viscount
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« Reply #1 on: 11 February 2019, 07:07:15 AM »

 Rolling on the floor Rolling on the floor Rolling on the floor Rolling on the floor

Love it !!!

That made 'I' larf.......I nearly spat my chewing gum out.

Cheers - Phil
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FSN IS an oik...I wonder when he'll change his signature again . :-)
Techno....AND STILL.....The most picked on member of the forum since 2011
d_Guy
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« Reply #2 on: 11 February 2019, 05:17:35 PM »

As this is Orcs I have to ask, did this really happen?  Shocked  Wink
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http://inredcoatragsattired.com
Disputatio stellas lucra
“The effect of their shooting was to affect their morale.” -Leman
Orcs
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Posts: 3735

Thread Derailment Specialist


« Reply #3 on: 11 February 2019, 07:21:47 PM »

As this is Orcs I have to ask, did this really happen?  Shocked  Wink

Nah the truck missed me, but I did get a black eye for humping an attractive ladies leg!  Smiley
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My aim in life is to P*ss off one person a day.  Currently I am 3 years  1 month  and 23 days ahead of schedule.

The cynics are right nine times out of ten. -Mencken, H. L.

We are all above the line of normality. Its just we all draw the line at a different level
d_Guy
Major General
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Posts: 3495



WWW
« Reply #4 on: 11 February 2019, 08:23:46 PM »

Balance has been restored to the universe!  Cheesy
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http://inredcoatragsattired.com
Disputatio stellas lucra
“The effect of their shooting was to affect their morale.” -Leman
Womble67
Brigadier
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« Reply #5 on: 12 February 2019, 01:27:56 PM »

lol that made my day

Take care

Andy
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