FSN goes to the doctor

[Orcs]

FSN goes to the doctor and says, "Hey doc, my writs really hurt since I fell over." The doctor gives him a sample pot and tells him to p*ss in it. So he does and gives it back to the doctor. The doc pours it into a machine, gears start turning and lights start to flash. A Piece of paper comes out. "You got sprained wrists FSN that'll be £100."

The doctor handed him another pot. "go home, rest your wrists and in two weeks p*ss in this pot and it and bring it back for another test.

FSN goes home. Two weeks later , He pees in the pot, then thinks "we will see how good that machine is ".  So gets Miss Whiplash  and his daughter to pee in the pot.  He sees his  cat crouching in the litter tray so catches some of that as well. And for good measure he masturbates into the pot.

Then, the next day goes to the doctors.  The doctor pours it into the machine and the the gears start to turn and lights flash. The doctor takes the piece of paper and looks at it. "Oh no thats terrible " What is it doc?" "  Well FSN,  Miss whiplash has the clap,  your daughter is pregnant and your cat is about to die!.   and if you don't quit beating off, you will never get rid of that sprained wrist!"

[skywalker]

 

[fsn]

Hey! I thought NHS records were private!

[Westmarcher]

 

[FierceKitty]

Heard that one from my aunt forty years ago!

[DFlynSqrl]

 

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

Where Nobby lives it's na a doctor, it's a Druid.

IanS

[d_Guy]

Heard that one from my aunt forty years ago!

Yes - along with the one where in the doctor gives a man a steel ball bearing to place in his shoe to act as a birth control device.
Still - a golden oldie. 

[Ithoriel]

The version I knew had a Scotsman trying to avoid the WW2 draft by providing a urine sample from his wife, his father and his sister and ended with the draft sergeant announcing

Yer wee sister's pregnant
Yer faither hiz piles
Yer wife's been unfaithful
Your fur the Argyll's!