Pendraken Miniatures Forum
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
23 February 2019, 07:41:03 AM

Login with username, password and session length
Search:     Advanced search
We've been working with the Battlefield's Trust to put together some new ECW army packs!
270823 Posts in 16183 Topics by 2168 Members
Latest Member: shakespear
* Home Help Search Calendar Login Register
+  Pendraken Miniatures Forum
|-+  Non-Wargaming Discussion
| |-+  Fun Stuff
| | |-+  Dad Jokes For Fathers Day
« previous next »
Pages: [1] 2 Go Down Print
Author Topic: Dad Jokes For Fathers Day  (Read 4179 times)
Ithoriel
Lieutenant General
*
Posts: 6014



« on: 19 June 2016, 09:00:47 PM »

Itís Fatherís Day today, so hereís a big list of jokes to make your dad laugh:

1. Just ate a frozen apple. Hardcore.
2. Bought a litre of Tipp-Ex yesterday. Huge mistake.
3. I've started a business building yachts in my attic. Sails are going through the roof.
4. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
5. I tried to catch some fog today but I mist.
6. I bought a dog from my local blacksmith. When I got it home it made a bolt for the door.
7. Last night I went to a comedy and philosophy convention. Laughed more than I thought.
8. Just watched a wildlife documentary on beavers. Best dam programme I've seen in a long time.
9. Jokes about German sausage are the Wurst.
10. I was trying to explain puns to my kleptomaniac friend today, but she kept taking things literally.
11. I stole a rabbit today. Then I had to make a run for it.
12. A woman told me she recognised me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore
13. Just got a job playing triangle in a reggae band. I stand at the back and ting.
14. What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
15. My wife told me I was a fool to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta.
16. Just watched a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting.
17. I used to have a problem where I couldnít stop naming classic American sitcoms, but Iím over it now. Happy Days.
18. My wife's working in a bowling alley.
     Ten pin?
     No, permanent.
19. Police just caught a man stealing 50 helium balloons. They had to let him go.
20. How do you approach an angry Welsh cheese? Caerphilly.
21. Jokes about opticians just get cornea and cornea.
22. A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
23. I was walking the dogs the other day when all of a sudden they vanished into thin air. Not sure where they went, but I've got some leads.
24. Did you know that owls can't breed in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
25. When my wife told me I had to stop impersonating a flamingo, I decided to put my foot down
26. Dad: Iíve just been diagnosed with Tom Jones syndrome.
     Mum: Is it common?
     Dad: It's Not Unusual
27. My wife asked me if I could please stop singing 'Wonderwall'. I said maybe.
Logged

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is entirely optional!
Steve J
Lieutenant General
*
Posts: 6881


« Reply #1 on: 19 June 2016, 09:16:08 PM »

 Grin Grin Grin Very, very good.
Logged

http://wwiiwargaming.blogspot.co.uk/

2017 Paint-Off - 2 x Winner!
jimduncanuk
Lieutenant Colonel
*
Posts: 753


WWW
« Reply #2 on: 19 June 2016, 09:27:40 PM »

You've got too much time on your hands Mike.
Logged

My Ego forbids a signature.
nikharwood
General
*
Posts: 7706



WWW
« Reply #3 on: 19 June 2016, 09:41:06 PM »

Very good, very good  Grin
Logged

Techno
Viscount
******
*
*
Posts: 17297



« Reply #4 on: 19 June 2016, 09:51:55 PM »

 Grin Grin Grin Grin

Cheers - Phil
Logged

FSN IS an oik...I wonder when he'll change his signature again . :-)
Techno....AND STILL.....The most picked on member of the forum since 2011
mad lemmey
Count
*******
*
Posts: 18743



« Reply #5 on: 19 June 2016, 11:14:09 PM »

Good ones Mike
Logged

Chekov's Gun, Occam's Razor, and Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle walk into a bar. You won't believe what happens next!

2016 Pendraken Painting Competion Participation Prize  (Lucky Dip Catagory) Winner 😎
Leman
Field Marshal
*
Posts: 10112



« Reply #6 on: 20 June 2016, 08:00:26 AM »

 Grin Grin Grin Grin - this explains why I'm a Tim Vine fan.
Logged

The artist formerly known as Dour Puritan!
fsn
General
*
Posts: 8246



« Reply #7 on: 20 June 2016, 08:01:57 AM »

They are brilliant and awful at the same time.

Perfect Dad jokes!

 Grin Grin Grin
Logged

Lord Oik of Runcorn
(You may refer to me as Milord Oik)

Oik of the Year 2013
Oik of the Year 2014
Prize for originality and 'having a go, bless him', 2015
3 votes in the 2016 Painting Competition!

15mm is dead. It just doesn't know it yet.
RoyWilliamson
Brigadier
*
Posts: 1750



WWW
« Reply #8 on: 20 June 2016, 11:02:21 AM »

 Applause Thumbs up Applause

Can I (be lazy and just post pictures of jokes) join in?  Cheesy









 I don't want to see ...



Logged



Blog & Forum Guy for Colonel Bill's Wargames Depot
Techno
Viscount
******
*
*
Posts: 17297



« Reply #9 on: 20 June 2016, 12:01:58 PM »

Give me strength !
 Grin Grin Grin Grin

Cheers - Phil
Logged

FSN IS an oik...I wonder when he'll change his signature again . :-)
Techno....AND STILL.....The most picked on member of the forum since 2011
ianrs54
Playtester
Lieutenant General
*
Posts: 6465



WWW
« Reply #10 on: 20 June 2016, 01:45:20 PM »

Give me strength !
 Grin Grin Grin Grin

Cheers - Phil
Why?

IanS
Logged

FOG IN CHANNEL - EUROPE CUT OFF HURRAY
Techno
Viscount
******
*
*
Posts: 17297



« Reply #11 on: 20 June 2016, 01:51:44 PM »

'Cos I'm thin and weedy.  Tongue

Cheers - Phil
Logged

FSN IS an oik...I wonder when he'll change his signature again . :-)
Techno....AND STILL.....The most picked on member of the forum since 2011
Ithoriel
Lieutenant General
*
Posts: 6014



« Reply #12 on: 22 June 2016, 01:52:09 PM »

One from Reddit

Two turbines on a wind farm are talking and one asks the other,"What music are you into?"

The second turbine thinks for a moment and says,"I'm a big metal fan!"
Logged

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is entirely optional!
Techno
Viscount
******
*
*
Posts: 17297



« Reply #13 on: 22 June 2016, 01:54:36 PM »

I haven't returned anyone's coat for ages.

I'll make an exception for the post above.  Wink

Cheers - Phil
Logged

FSN IS an oik...I wonder when he'll change his signature again . :-)
Techno....AND STILL.....The most picked on member of the forum since 2011
ianrs54
Playtester
Lieutenant General
*
Posts: 6465



WWW
« Reply #14 on: 22 June 2016, 02:14:37 PM »

Very very well chewed I hope.

IanS
Logged

FOG IN CHANNEL - EUROPE CUT OFF HURRAY
Pages: [1] 2 Go Up Print 
« previous next »
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!