Christmas

[fsn]

Well, I got a parcel from Pendraken today. Awfully excited as always, but since  got my Soviet 1941 stuff yesterday, I wasn't really expecting anything. Anyway, imaging my surprise when I opened the gaudily papered box and saw what I take to be some Pendraken promotional goods. Obviously out favourite 10mm purveyor of goodliness is having a good year and is giving something back to their more illustrious customers.

Anyway, I thought I'd share some of the contents of this veritable cornucopia of with those of you who haven't received your goody box.

Firstly, there's a figure. It must be some sort of limited edition piece from Minibits. It's a lovely evergreen, beautifully detailed and based in a wintery manner. There's even a little figure high up in the branches, you can just see his bare head and the long musket or fowling piece he's deliberately aiming. Lovely sculpting. So for this first gift for Christmas, Pendraken gave to me, a sniper in a fir tree.     

There's also an advent calendar. I've popped open December 1st to 5th and snaffled the contents. Pity, because I think I've just eaten a lethal quantity of lead, or at least sufficient metal to make potty time interesting for the next few days. Anyway, the 6th December commemorates Flight 19 of US Navy Avengers, taking off from Fort Lauderdale in 1945 for a training flight between Florida and Bermuda. Well, I'll just pop open the window, it's a triangular one ... Oh. They've disappeared.

Well the next thing is a big box of Christmas crackers. I love crackers, and to be honest, I just pulled them all as soon as I could. So, I'm sat here wearing my Pendraken paper crown. Just my Pendraken paper crown, because when the postie arrived, I was playing on the XBox. Anyway, I've pulled all the crackers, and thought I'd share with you the jokes. I think Dave wrote them all. It looks like his penmanship. Anyway, I pass them on

Why was Mr M Mouse of Buena Vista arrested by the FBI? Mince Pies.

Why don't you get a large number of high elves to paint your armies? Because Just A Few Orcs can do it better.

What the solution for having only one covering for your bike's handlebar? Get two grips

Why did Henry Crun fear MI5? Mince Pies.

In East Anglia there's an Imperial unit of weight that is considered to be the best weight that ever there was. It is, for an artificially constructed concept, exceptionally handsome, talented, witty and intelligent. What's it called? The Fen-Ton.

Is the Technology Department aware of the problems casting this new Top Totty range? Yes, Tech know.

Why did Max keep a wary eye out for the Noun Abbreviation Anti-Terrorist Squad? Mince Pies.

Why aren't the first followers of Jan Huss, the C15 Bohemian priest, philosopher, leader and martyr, known for his use for armoured wagons,  carrying the Christmas presents in? Because the Last Hus are.

Why does Mr Driver, husband of the British actress who starred in Good Will Hunting, The Phantom of the Opera and Hunky Dory, and sometime recording artists worry about a raid from the Flying Squad? Mince Pies.

Why were the Germans concerned about attempts to steal nebelwerfer technology during WWII? Moaning mince pies.

Why don't you get Father Raymond to paint your Pendraken 10mm Confederate artillery? Because son Ray can do it better.

Why does the packing dwarf who has responsibility for the Revell 1:144 micro-planes only deal with Kit A, Kit B, Kit C and Kit D? Because he fears Kit E.

Why did the Americans in Viet Nam raise their alert level at Xmas? Ho-Ho-Ho-Chi Mince Pies.

Well that was fun.

[Techno]

 

And how long have you been working on that Matey ?
Cheers - Phil.

[Last Hussar]

Jeeves, fetch my fouling rifle...

[fsn]

And how long have you been working on that Matey ?
Cheers - Phil.

In the car coming home tonight.

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

You need to get out less Fsn!

[Fenton]

Ummmmmmmmm    

[fsn]

Another package from Pendraken this morning. Another one of the trees with the little sharpshooter in it. I assume they must be popping these into everything they're sending out at the moment. They've also included a couple of nice little figures (are they yours Mr Clib?) of baggy trousered French troops from the Tonkin expedition of the 1880's. So this second gift at Christmas, Pendraken send to me two Tonkin Zouaves and a sniper in a fir tree.

I'm also quite excited to open the Pendraken advent calendar. Let's see, it says "7th December, Pearl Harbour, 1941." Excellent, let's see. Opening the window now, it's quite long and thin ... how lovely an American battleship! Oh, but it's broken! Never mind.

Anyway, today I thought I'd have a go with the Pendraken Board Game. It says "win the race to the Dark Lord's Caverns, and have your heart's desire sculpted." Excellent, sort of a Hobbit thing going on. Let me just unpack the board. It's quite big. There we go. Ah, there's the Dark Lord's Caverns in Middle-Borough. Looks quite scary. And there's other areas here - the moat, Community Chest and remarkably the Library. There's some assembly needed. We've got the little man here, ready to dive into the washtub. That goes ... there and the funny bone goes ... ooops! That made it beep. Right. I think that's it.

So, let me read the rules. "First write down your heart's desire and put it in in the envelope." OK. Done. No, I'm not telling you! Secondly, pick a playing piece. You can be the General, the War Elephant, the cannon, ... very good ... the zombie, the 6e Bataillon de Parachutistes Coloniaux at Dien Bien Phu - all of them - (is that you again Clib?), the Ratte (lovely large piece that), the Gladiator or the fluffy kitten. OK. I'll be the fluffy kitten. (Don't judge me!)

OK. There's my kitten at the start point. Now I throw the dice. A "1" and a ... "1". Well, that's about right, but I will get another throw. One ... two. Right it says "mention your heart's desire on the forum. Go forward three places." Excellent. one, two, three. OK. This one says. "Go back three places." Oh. right. Three, two, one. "mention your heart's desire on the forum. Go forward three places." One, two, three. "Go back three places." One, two, three. This isn't going to work is it? Let's start again.

Back on square one. Throw again. "1" (of course) and the "King of Spades". Right, one, two, three, four, ... is this right? Let me just check the rules. Yup. Eight, nine,ten, Jack, Queen, King. Oh! A vertical assembly assistance. Up we go! Right, now we're in the Blue Zone, and I have to pick a letter from the bag. A "Q". Excellent. That's nearly a full house, or possibly I can make "QUIVER" if I get another vowel. And there would be a double score for anything you can see in the Pendraken catalogue!

I think I have to make a morale check now. Another two dice ... "7" and ... "the North Wind". Wonderful.

That's then end of my turn. Who's next?       

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

I'm still stuck at Hainault on the Central line..l

[Fenton]

 

Ok Mine has jut arrived...Oh my board looks a little different to yours, the figure with the bathtub seems to be a naked bloke with some sort of game controller..maybe I can use some green stuff to give him some shorts

Anyway reading the rules...Hmmm  If your counter is within 1mm of the edge of the square and another counter is within one square then a counter that is 6 squares away cant move.. Seems a bit complicated but maybe I am reading them wrong maybe some errata will come out for next Christmas.

[fsn]

I'm still stuck at Hainault on the Central line..l

I think I can help you there. You just need to double down and look for the next available diagonal.

If your counter is within 1mm of the edge of the square and another counter is within one square then a counter that is 6 squares away cant move.

Well you shouldn't have picked the Ratte should you?

[Fenton]

Well they say bigger is better...Maybe I could lose the counter for when we all play on Christmas Day...Now where did that Byzantine green that fell out of the cracker go to?

[sebigboss79]

Can someone pass him the pills and make sure he takes them?

[fsn]

Well here's an odd thing Chaps. Knock on the window this morning, and there was a seagull - a Common Gull, I think - you don't see many of those these days - and attached to its back was a parcel from Pendraken. Had to tip it in sardines, but eventually the beast parted with the package with more or less good grace and flew of to the South-South-East. Note to the chaps at Pendraken, you may want to get a bird with a bit more of a homing sense as Middle-Borough is roughly North East or a few pint North of here.  

Anyway, it was a lovely surprise. In it were three figure with machine guns, lovely sculpts (Clib, are they yours?) standing with the machine gun over their shoulders - it is quite obviously a Bren gun. However the exciting thing is that the figure is wearing a beautifully detailed kepi making him obviously French, and he's wearing long shorts. Fascinating detail on the muscles on the arms and the rolled up sleeves. Free French from the desert in 1941-42 I'd say, and he's got a lovely big beard that would be a joy to paint but in real life one suspects would probably smell of tobacco and garlic goat.

There's also another pair of the Tonkin Zouaves. Anyone want them? Not really my thing, and of course they've stuffed in another of their little trees with the marksman in it. I'm accumulating quite a little coppice of death. So for this third gift at Christmas, Pendraken sent to me three French Brens, two Tonkin Zouaves and a sniper in a fir tree. Lovely. Thank you very much.

So now I think I'll open the advent calendar. Let's see - 8th December 1914, Battle of the Falklands 1914 - of course. Another long and thin window, it's let me just get it out, it's another ship, it's the German ship SMS Leipzig.  How lovely! Oh. But it's broken. Never mind, perhaps the chaps at Pendraken could look at the packaging on their advent calendars for next year?  

Last night I opened another of the present from my Pendraken gift box. This time it was a jigsaw puzzle. Beautiful thing, and a lovely thought. It's obviously a Churchill tank, but I seem to have a few pieces missing.  Has anyone got them? If so, I've a few pieces here that don't seem to fit into my Churchill, don't know what they could be from, but obviously if you've got the rest of the puzzle you'd know.
 

[Sandinista]

Can someone pass him the pills and make sure he takes them?

I think it has got way beyond the pills stage   

[barbarian]

I now just want to see a photograph of Fsn.
I need to put a face on...this.